I'm sorry about the nursery dropping that bomb on you in written form and with no additional context. It might not mean anything more than he might need a little more time to adjust, I hope. Fingers crossed the meeting tomorrow will bring you clarity and peace of mind.
As for your friend troubles... I feel like people are really inconsiderate when it comes to being sensitive about other's people's feelings, especially these days. I see it in the hospital a lot, there's a "me first" mentality out there which depresses me, because people simply stop listening to and stopped being considerate of each other.
I'm also sorry to hear about your financial hardships, it's really unfair that a family like yours might struggle, while others can worry about "15k to play with". I find that comment so utterly ridiculous, I know I'd have told them to shut it, because that's the worst kind of bragging. A car is a car, but having a good family, and a great partner, like you obviously do, that's worth a whole lot more than those 15k.