So late this morning my coworker came back into the workroom after using the restroom and said quietly, "hey, can I talk to you out here in private real quick?"
("Out here" meaning the hallway, away from the temp worker that was in the workroom.)
This made me very nervous, like is he about to tell me he got a job somewhere else and he's leaving me?!
Did he just get some bad personal news?! What is happening!?
Turns out it was the last one, sorta. He said "Ok, this is really embarrassing what I'm about to tell you... but I basically just kinda sharted in my pants, um, and so I threw away my boxers in the bathroom..."
Me, an empath and also a consummate professional, keeping a serious but kind and understanding face, "Ohh, man, well, it happens..."
"So I'm gonna go out and get some new underwear and also get some medicine for my stomach. Which store do you think would have both?"
We work in a pretty small town so I advised him to try the dollar store or chain pharmacy. I guess he was successful because he came back and said "ok, all good now."
I'm trying to think of what I'd do in this situation. Probably say that I forgot something at home or I saw/heard my dog behaving strangely on my nanny/doggy cams and I need to go check on him. But I live much closer to work than my coworker so these are reasonable lies. I'd even rather tell him that my period started early because somehow this is less embarrassing than shitting your pants, right?
But props to him for being honest. And to me for not laughing.
I guess we really are work soulmates.
