Jake Quickenden #99 He's got 99 problems but a job isn't one!

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
A huge congratulations to @plonkington for our new thread title! You have won the dry chicken that was cooked whilst Zelda and DoorMatt were staying at Quickenden Towers!!

Screenshot_20240314-174000~2.png


The results of our poll are in. Nurse Ratchett will collect the crazy 5 at 7:30pm for admission into a secure unit. They obviously need help and medication! πŸ€ͺ

Screenshot_20240314-172930~2.png


The last thread absolutely flew by! We had a constant avalanche of Father of the Year posts and an overdose of Gail. We had cryptic quotes relating to trees, Zelda and DoorMatt finally left and Sophie remained hidden.

We had the famous #SquidwardGate photo which became a huge investigation amongst us. Poirot had a breakdown over it and Inspector Morse is now in Rehab! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Screenshot_20240314-174103~2.png


He filmed ITV Win in the luxurious location of Dunelm, Freddie had his 10th Birthday and Squidward's reflection was finally caught in the window!

Screenshot_20240314-174216~2.png


Masterchef was finally confirmed but we knew that weeks ago, RatBoy is starring in ElfBoy The Musical in Colchester and Squidward is taking up kickboxing. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Mother's Day was another complete non-event for poor Squidward and she had to cook her own dinner. Gail was photographed in the bath and then on the potty.

Screenshot_20240314-174115~2.png


He has started self-taping now thinking he's going to hit the big time. πŸ™„

Squidward and Gail drove down to Bournemouth and went backstage with him at TFM. No doubt she had her eyes peeled for this mysterious man regarding the mysterious photo. We need this photo badly! πŸ’―

A massive "united front" operation ensued with photos and reels that made your skin slide off with embarrassment for the pair of them. Apparently, Social Media is FAKE but not as fake as their lives are. Its honestly tragic. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

We had the worst reel known to man with RatBoy pretending to play the piano alongside Gail (who is desperate to run away to the cobbles). 😬

The nose has been spotted but we can't see it properly yet so I have Michael Jackson's verdict from beyond the grave! πŸ‘»πŸ‘» πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Screenshot_20240314-175217~2.png

Screenshot_20240314-175224~2.png



A full recap can be found in Wiki 10.

Keep on grinding Fakeys! 🌈

Previous thread:-

---
We're one thread away from the Big 100. Come on, let's make some noise!!!!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


---
Possibly the most embarrassing, shittiest reel EVER known to Instagram!

 
Last edited:
  • Haha
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 32
New thread hype πŸ‘πŸ‘

So agents are banging down his door, maybe a euphemism πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Maybe the reel he is referring to is the one where he pretended to be flaps. The acting offer is as the lead in the low budget porno called fakey fucks frinton (on sea) - geographical reference for the Essex lot
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 25
Already deleted the reel and replaced it with another, beyond cringe you sad sad man.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Wow
Reactions: 22
Hold on, I thought hotels had rules about hot tubs? Looks like all they did was film utter tit yesterday.

Pathetic.

 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 19
bleeping hell, does he think he’s in Baywatch? As for a recap, he’s a repugnant twit, end of story
I get a free cut and colour with @CrazyBaldhead if he does a lovehoney ad for β€œintro to anal play” starter pack in the next 3 months. The Tag line will be as per this story.
---
Hold on, I thought hotels had rules about hot tubs? Looks like all they did was film utter tit yesterday.

Pathetic.

View attachment 2815563
They do. I added that to the end of the last thread that this is a big no no and likely to lead to a credit card charge to clean and drain. Report him
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 21
So he's back in the caravan again. That "united front" sham didn't last long did it?





432680736_2155624991452093_1546159991445744334_n.jpg
432162963_811698670772440_3701810405160776257_n.jpg
432668290_2104303509913701_353287999929716964_n.jpg
432721230_321453054280973_9165788202301265768_n.jpg
 
  • Sick
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 17
Not been on here in ages, I see they're still boring cuntsπŸ˜‚ sorry if it's been mentioned already but I see orchard lodge is up for saleπŸ‘€ are they moving closer to jake? He can't parent by himself without needing mummy's helpπŸ˜‚
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 18
Why is he following marriage coaches daft idiot.Both liars who pretend they have a loving partnership.Shes as bad as him lately as they definitely got one night at that hotel.She has hardly any work since last year πŸ‘It’s time to grow up go get a bleeping jobπŸ‘
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 19
You can pretend all you want that you were still there today Squidward because RatBoy's in another location!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


432677897_1646240942786969_1987196184361237781_n.jpg
432173608_779628963616272_68801025257043481_n.jpg
432210687_2810005315830098_3032436640303501435_n.jpg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 15
What a day! Absolutely buzzing to of won this thread title!
I’ll be sure to share my Hello Fresh discount code with you all to make a dry as duck chicken dinner
NOSEJOB20
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 28
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.