Jake Quickenden #82 Veiny sweaty wiggy piece of gristle, his 'career' is going down like a guided missile

[PrincessJeanie]

So she’s just over 8 stone. 2 stone of that must be those shocking boulders Does she watch her stories before she posts them? Unless it’s literally tit for tat (see what I did there ) He deliberately showed everyone his carrot the other day so she’s now showing everyone her nips

 

[plattyjoobs]

Congratulations to @ShowMeThe Money for thw fab thread title, there’s some Full Monty tickets coming your way!

Old thread: https://tattle.life/threads/jake-qu...anently-injured-and-always-oh-so-tired.41575/

So Fakey is now on tour and has been hard at it for a week now, that’s 40 of you out on the poll. The second week was the most popular choice for the first sicky so we will wait and see what this week brings.

There has been some interesting wardrobe additions, a very fetching sleeveless jumper and a doberman shirt that you have to see to believe.

Press night at TFM last night and of course Polly Parrot was there to support her boyfriend client, whereas Flaps still doesn’t even have a ticket booked to support her beloved husband

Oh, I almost forgot about his big 5 minute presenting gig on Loose Women, such a busy boy! Unfortunately for Fakey though, our lovely @IamMyaJ had some insider info which confirms that him or Parrot are begging for these little slots, and he’s not exactly the A-lister he thinks he is:

Freddie hasn’t been seen as much which tattlers hope means he’s living more at his dads in a much nicer environment. Spud is still spudding.

Some highlights from the last thread:

 

[mollyann]

Think he’s took a picture of his knob and photoshopped it in the wrong place

 

[Turmeric123]

Oh Polly
Does she know what work is? So far he's been on LW this morn for 3 mins and half of that is him making the audience "woo" him

 

[PrincessJeanie]

she’s joking right? Did she shag him last night to warrant this ludicrous comment!

The last thing she’d call him is hard working if she shagged him last night. He’s definitely the type that just lays there Sorry if anyone now has a mental image of that in the head cause I know I have

 

[Xxcxcc]

Its hilarious how important he thinks he is doing a two minute comp on one of the shittest lowest rating shows on ITV. He's walking down them corridors like he owns the place, in his vest, trying to get a fanny fluter out of the older ladies. He is pathetic

 

[ShowMeThe Money]

Oh my christ that appalling dancing in the dressing room. Where to start on the moves of a cart horse with flailing windmill arms. The stupid expressions on his face. It was so cringe to watch, the fact that he actually thought he had the moves - just no & more no. Tagging in a Diversity dancer makes it top level cringe.

Oh just to quickly add, his big chicken nugget head bobbing around

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

I’ve been staring at this for a good few minutes and still can’t work out what the fuck is going on with her feet.

The Monty Python foot. That's all I can see!

 

[Cleopops]

Early doors for this but I'm going in with a thread title

Jake Quickenden #83 Our Jake, hardest working man in showbiz

If I win I'm happy to give credit where it's due to Polly Parrot and Colleen Nolan, I'm not all me, me,me unlike Our Jake

 

[Vanilla Ice]

Another little ode hopefully to make you smile


Fakey thinks he’s famous doing this touring
But us fakey’s just think he is f boring
Flapz is selling everything that’s in sight
In the evenings she just high as a kite
Nik Nak is always just the same
Whilst his dad is always chasing the fame
Money is a problem as still just as tight
All he is interested in is winning that fight
The house is a mess and just as untidy
And Zelda still can’t wait till chippy Friday
Spare a thought for the No:1 son
All he wants is some love and fun
Getting poor Freddie to what parent is best
All step daddy does is prance in a vest
Everyone on here just needs a break
Because it’s all lies and just damned fake
But we will come back when we are ready
Bet the old fucker will still be in beddy
The fight will happen and he might win
But for us tattlers just get in the bin
Here’s hoping his pants rub and chafe
Love to everyone and let’s stay safe

 

[Turtledove58]

Jake and his huge army of coffin dodgers! Average age 79

 

[Vanilla Ice]

So is he doing pics now

 

[Jane_Mcdonald]

Fucksake, why is she doing an Insta story with her nips out, Jesus Christ
Get a bra on woman

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Wishing Ashley Cain happy birthday in a post which is just him talking about himself how thoughtful!

Another absolute cunt

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

A blowtorch might just help her.

"I love Elemis, it's one of the only brands that stops my skin from break outs. Pity my old man doesn't break out of the closet".

 

[Katewinsletsknee]

OMG yes I agree about Neil. I always found him annoying, grinning into screen, pushing to be seen so when he has been partnered I haven’t wanted him to progress. I’m not saying his ex is a saint but he apparently was nasty about her after the divorce which I thought unprofessional. As for Fakey being worse it doesn’t surprise me but I’m surprised it hasn’t come out how uncomfortable it must make the older ladies. I once worked with a guy who was a few years younger but very immature and not the best looking but thought he could flirt outrageously with anybody, including me, and didn’t care my other half worked within the same workplace. My other half was aware but knew I’d be able to deal with him though was there if I needed it. I did get along well with this guy but was very uncomfortable at times which he was aware about but I was quite firm with him. I was very young at the time but now I wouldn’t hesitate in giving someone like this a slap. Men like Fakey shouldn’t be allowed to go on like this. Freak

How uncomfortable they feel ? A woman in her 60s getting attention off a younger man …. Why would they be uncomfortable ? Not at all, by all accounts they lap it up. How many men do you think flirt with Linda “THICK AS FUCKING PIG SHIT” Robson ? I guess not many, if any.

This bloke would flirt with a flogged dead horse if he thought he would get TV time.

I know that Mark Wright was practically throwing himself at casting directors when he went over to the states (it didn’t work) to get a job, any job - it didn’t work out for him though. mainly due to him being dismal.

I have seen people who have put themselves on a casting couch to get a job, themselves - and believe me the stories of people who are the worst are z list, ex reality stars - they will do anything in an attempt to legitimatise themselves (but they rarely do anything - like do to acting school, learn skills - you know the hard work).
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What an absolute sadsack!

"Go watch Loose Women".

Any person with a braincell would rather jump off a cliff.

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What's your 'gut' saying about this then Flapz because I know exactly what mine would say.

Given the chance, he would DROP YOU like a hot potato.....

People who post quotes like this fully know deep down that they are totally fucked!

The way these two are together says it all and I reckon that's the tip of the iceberg/carrot!

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For the commitment of uploading these videos - I literally watch a second or 2, and switch it off. He’s sooo desperate it’s pathetic. He also has the WORST dress sense ever - he dresses like a failed 90s boybander who has struggle to shake that look. And he always manages to look cheap, very cheap.

 

[IamMyaJ]

It makes me so happy when he literally proves me right with the tea I bring silly cunt no one fucking likes him at LW TRUST ME

 

[trine]

He’s such a skank. Look at the bite out of the black pudding. You just know that as soon as the plate was in front of him he picked the black pudding up with his bare fingers and sunk his giant tombstone gnashers into it then remembered he had to take a pic for the gram. Fuck cutlery eh Jake, I see where Spud gets his appalling manners from.

 

[trine]

This is her Twitter. He’s not the only one she likes by the look of it.

Vicky is 100% a 55yr old virgin

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Notice he’s started following a number of men’s high end fashion brands/designers
Went on his page and was surprised he’s not done a grid post/reel on his LW appearances yet even more surprised that he’s not updated his insta bio to read ‘regular Presenter on ITVs Loose Women’