Hahahaha.... sometimes this tit just writes itself.....Jake Quickendens big night IN
What an abysmal little prick he is
Jake Quickenden #63 Ur a degenerate - plain to see. Who mentions their baby's genitals on daytime TV? π€’
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What an abysmal little prick he is
Recap:
As the sun sets over the Colchester skies, a new thread is born! The sound of quiet whimpering can be heard from a very tiny loft. Yes, Fakey's ten minutes work has now finished!!!
We started the last thread with NikNak throwing a paddy about Freddie keeping the football. Freddie was told to give it back. Instead of playing football indoors take the kids out you bone idle dosser!
Fakey went to the gym with Dan Dan the Photographer Man, heavily photoshopped his abs on but left Dan's au naturel and then threw a strop at him saying "Don't talk about my kid like that' when Dan made a comment about giving his kid back. It's only bants bro eh? If you can't take it, don't dish it out!
On Mother's Day, Flapz was treated to breakfast in bed. This consisted of a plate of two slices of toast, a few pieces of fruit and a croissant swimming in undercooked, watery scrambled egg. Yum yum!
Fakey took a photo of Flapz cuddling NikNak but had her back facing Freddie. Once again, Freddie was left out and NikNak ate her breakfast getting strawberries over the white bedding! They then went out for lunch.
We had clips of him 'cleaning' and boasting about hoovering lines! We're very sure you're both experts in 'hoovering lines'
and he even made a bed! We had more 'ice bath' talk with a new word 'procrastination'. He couldn't say it properly because of his Turkey teef. Yet more hilarious clips were seen of him MMA training looking like a cross between a Power Ranger and Wayne Sleep. One particular move was named 'The Carrot Crusher!'
Flapz had a B12 injection because she is sooo tired and by 8pm she just wants to get into bed! Fakey then asked if any couples slept separately as he was laying on his new bed in the loft.
He headed Up North for Thursday and Friday in a prison inmate's suit. He stayed with mummy dearest and we had the usual borefest of staged stories. He was even riding Zelda's broomstick in one just for us!
Thursday he was on Steph's Packed Lunch where he made the inappropriate comment about his newborn son's genitalia and comparing the size to his own. Not funny. Complaints were no doubt sent to Channel 4 and Ofcom about this.
Flapz put up a post of herself sitting on the loo calling it 'Definitions of Mum Life' marking spellings. Firstly, no it's not mum life you filthy witch and secondly you are illiterate! Sort it out Farquaad.
Friday he woke up in yet another budget hotel in Telford with massive bags under his eyes because he'd been up all night on Tattle, Twitter etc reading negative comments about himself. He even deactivated his Twitter. The filming consisted of him knocking on some poor bastard's door and him telling them they had won a prize from Saturday Night Takeaway. They didn't even know who he was.
Flapz got yet more face treatment (but that's flogging a dead horse at this point) and NikNak called chocolate 'cock cock'. He must've know that the Father of the Year was coming back home. In fact, as soon as he saw Fakey, he tried to knock himself out on his camera!!!
Friday night was the episode of Help My House is Haunted (although it's really not). It was revealed that he was a soldier called Simon in a past life who got shot in the stomach. Simon must've been a bit simple and talked a load of old bollocks too. In fact, whoever shot Simon was definitely not the enemy but most probably one of his fellow comrades!!
Carry on Fakeys!!
As the sun sets over the Colchester skies, a new thread is born! The sound of quiet whimpering can be heard from a very tiny loft. Yes, Fakey's ten minutes work has now finished!!!
We started the last thread with NikNak throwing a paddy about Freddie keeping the football. Freddie was told to give it back. Instead of playing football indoors take the kids out you bone idle dosser!
Fakey went to the gym with Dan Dan the Photographer Man, heavily photoshopped his abs on but left Dan's au naturel and then threw a strop at him saying "Don't talk about my kid like that' when Dan made a comment about giving his kid back. It's only bants bro eh? If you can't take it, don't dish it out!
On Mother's Day, Flapz was treated to breakfast in bed. This consisted of a plate of two slices of toast, a few pieces of fruit and a croissant swimming in undercooked, watery scrambled egg. Yum yum!
Fakey took a photo of Flapz cuddling NikNak but had her back facing Freddie. Once again, Freddie was left out and NikNak ate her breakfast getting strawberries over the white bedding! They then went out for lunch.We had clips of him 'cleaning' and boasting about hoovering lines! We're very sure you're both experts in 'hoovering lines'
and he even made a bed! We had more 'ice bath' talk with a new word 'procrastination'. He couldn't say it properly because of his Turkey teef. Yet more hilarious clips were seen of him MMA training looking like a cross between a Power Ranger and Wayne Sleep. One particular move was named 'The Carrot Crusher!'Flapz had a B12 injection because she is sooo tired and by 8pm she just wants to get into bed! Fakey then asked if any couples slept separately as he was laying on his new bed in the loft.
He headed Up North for Thursday and Friday in a prison inmate's suit. He stayed with mummy dearest and we had the usual borefest of staged stories. He was even riding Zelda's broomstick in one just for us!
Thursday he was on Steph's Packed Lunch where he made the inappropriate comment about his newborn son's genitalia and comparing the size to his own. Not funny. Complaints were no doubt sent to Channel 4 and Ofcom about this.
Flapz put up a post of herself sitting on the loo calling it 'Definitions of Mum Life' marking spellings. Firstly, no it's not mum life you filthy witch and secondly you are illiterate! Sort it out Farquaad.
Friday he woke up in yet another budget hotel in Telford with massive bags under his eyes because he'd been up all night on Tattle, Twitter etc reading negative comments about himself. He even deactivated his Twitter. The filming consisted of him knocking on some poor bastard's door and him telling them they had won a prize from Saturday Night Takeaway. They didn't even know who he was.
Flapz got yet more face treatment (but that's flogging a dead horse at this point) and NikNak called chocolate 'cock cock'. He must've know that the Father of the Year was coming back home. In fact, as soon as he saw Fakey, he tried to knock himself out on his camera!!!
Friday night was the episode of Help My House is Haunted (although it's really not). It was revealed that he was a soldier called Simon in a past life who got shot in the stomach. Simon must've been a bit simple and talked a load of old bollocks too. In fact, whoever shot Simon was definitely not the enemy but most probably one of his fellow comrades!!
Carry on Fakeys!!
Reckon Frick and duck will be on the 
drowning their sorrows, or sharing a bottle of White Lightening....
drowning their sorrows, or sharing a bottle of White Lightening....
They wish they could afford white lighteningReckon Frick and duck will be on the
I cannot believe that 'The Big Night In' has been cancelled AGAIN!!! He is finished!!!
All he needs to do now is watch Paul Smith taking the piss out of people wearing wigs. He is hilarious! I laughed so hard when he asked a member of the audience if they were wearing a wig and he was actually handed it and he put it on his head!!!
All he needs to do now is watch Paul Smith taking the piss out of people wearing wigs. He is hilarious! I laughed so hard when he asked a member of the audience if they were wearing a wig and he was actually handed it and he put it on his head!!!
Not all heroβs wear capes, thank you @CrazyBaldhead for a top recap and congrats on another thread title 
I am absolutely howling at his big weekend being cancelled, could not have happened to a nicer down to earth bloke. Said no one ever
I am absolutely howling at his big weekend being cancelled, could not have happened to a nicer down to earth bloke. Said no one ever
Iβm sure itβs gonna take them a really long time to contact all 5 people who booked the big night out and tell them it has been cancelled 
Bravo!....... Excellent as always!Recap:
As the sun sets over the Colchester skies, a new thread is born! The sound of quiet whimpering can be heard from a very tiny loft. Yes, Fakey's ten minutes work has now finished!!!
We started the last thread with NikNak throwing a paddy about Freddie keeping the football. Freddie was told to give it back. Instead of playing football indoors take the kids out you bone idle dosser!
Fakey went to the gym with Dan Dan the Photographer Man, heavily photoshopped his abs on but left Dan's au naturel and then threw a strop at him saying "Don't talk about my kid like that' when Dan made a comment about giving his kid back. It's only bants bro eh? If you can't take it, don't dish it out!
On Mother's Day, Flapz was treated to breakfast in bed. This consisted of a plate of two slices of toast, a few pieces of fruit and a croissant swimming in undercooked, watery scrambled egg. Yum yum!
We had clips of him 'cleaning' and boasting about hoovering lines! We're very sure you're both experts in 'hoovering lines'
Flapz had a B12 injection because she is sooo tired and by 8pm she just wants to get into bed! Fakey then asked if any couples slept separately as he was laying on his new bed in the loft.
He headed Up North for Thursday and Friday in a prison inmate's suit. He stayed with mummy dearest and we had the usual borefest of staged stories. He was even riding Zelda's broomstick in one just for us!
Thursday he was on Steph's Packed Lunch where he made the inappropriate comment about his newborn son's genitalia and comparing the size to his own. Not funny. Complaints were no doubt sent to Channel 4 and Ofcom about this.
Flapz put up a post of herself sitting on the loo calling it 'Definitions of Mum Life' marking spellings. Firstly, no it's not mum life you filthy witch and secondly you are illiterate! Sort it out Farquaad.
Friday he woke up in yet another budget hotel in Telford with massive bags under his eyes because he'd been up all night on Tattle, Twitter etc reading negative comments about himself. He even deactivated his Twitter. The filming consisted of him knocking on some poor bastard's door and him telling them they had won a prize from Saturday Night Takeaway. They didn't even know who he was.
Flapz got yet more face treatment (but that's flogging a dead horse at this point) and NikNak called chocolate 'cock cock'. He must've know that the Father of the Year was coming back home. In fact, as soon as he saw Fakey, he tried to knock himself out on his camera!!!
Friday night was the episode of Help My House is Haunted (although it's really not). It was revealed that he was a soldier called Simon in a past life who got shot in the stomach. Simon must've been a bit simple and talked a load of old bollocks too. In fact, whoever shot Simon was definitely not the enemy but most probably one of his fellow comrades!!
Carry on Fakeys!!
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Theyβll only need to contact him, Nanny qvc and flappy. Must be so busy letting them all knowIβm sure itβs gonna take them a really long time to contact all 5 people who booked the big night out and tell them it has been cancelled
I didn't realise Paul Smith was so funny!! That clip was hysterical about wigs. He's so natural and such a nice guy! I really want him to WIN and that charity gets his fight money. What a Legend!Not all heroβs wear capes, thank you @CrazyBaldhead for a top recap and congrats on another thread title
I am absolutely howling at his big weekend being cancelled, could not have happened to a nicer down to earth bloke. Said no one ever
Who reckons heβs going to say he had to cancel his big night out because of his MMA taking priority? You know if heβs challenged on it theyβll be an excuse from him
@CrazyBaldhead seriously your recaps and thread titles are the best
please never ever leave this thread
@CrazyBaldhead seriously your recaps and thread titles are the best
please never ever leave this thread 
Damn! Poor ticket sales?I dip in and out of Fake's thread as let's face it, it's rinse and repeat with this boring jobless bastard, so apologies if I'm way behind the times here, but I've just noticed that his Big Night Out in September has been cancelled, as predicted
. At least they will not have a lot of refunds to process. No way did he sell that many tickets.
Crying at the Big Night from being postponed a year to being cancelled
He could try that but look at Paul Smith still working touring around the country and training hard for the same event
So him giving out them tickets on Friday for SNT, he said was TV βworkβ. He wasnβt shown on the actual program last night. Heβs just been on ITV wins insta grid to my knowledge. So was his big TV appearance actually just a reel on an Instagram page then 
Wonder what βworkβ heβs got lined up for this week and will this be the week he finally tells everyone what the job is he got from his apparently successful audition that he went for in London
Wonder what βworkβ heβs got lined up for this week and will this be the week he finally tells everyone what the job is he got from his apparently successful audition that he went for in London
He's been suspiciously quiet about that apparent "success," hasn't he? I don't believe he got that job or any job for that matter. He's mourning the cancellation of his Big Night Out and is spending all his time on social media trying to smoke out some of us Fakeys!So him giving out them tickets on Friday for SNT, he said was TV βworkβ. He wasnβt shown on the actual program last night. Heβs just been on ITV wins insta grid to my knowledge. So was his big TV appearance actually just a reel on an Instagram page then
Wonder what βworkβ heβs got lined up for this week and will this be the week he finally tells everyone what the job is he got from his apparently successful audition that he went for in London
This has to be the worse position he's ever been in job wise. He'll need to sign on tomorrow!
I think heβs still got his gig at the hair & beauty awards next month
plus the Ra-Ra costume maybe making another appearance cos I noticed Butlins have got the Masked Singer back for the Easter Holidays 
Ah he's got a couple of days work then!I think heβs still got his gig at the hair & beauty awards next month
How does he sleep at night with all their money worries? Bet they've definitely taken a mortgage payment holiday or Flapz's dad is still bailing them out every month.
Im sure he will try use that but if he does we all know itβs not true, it got cancelled because heβs obviously hated in βscunnyβ and could only sell five tickets that his Mummy boughtWho reckons heβs going to say he had to cancel his big night out because of his MMA taking priority? You know if heβs challenged on it theyβll be an excuse from him
and the fight is in November according to Paul who has his sell out UK, Northern Ireland and Rep Of Ireland tour right up to the fight and is only taking 4 days off after the fight! hopefully to present the prize money to the charity βWeapons down gloves upβ 
So dont think you can fool people with that excuse Fakey boi 
How embarrassing having to cancel your one gig when youβre opponent is doing over 100 gigs
Can you believe we're up to 63 threads now - all self perpetuated by the Fakester himself. He is the gift that keeps on giving. He has a love hate relationship with us Tattlers. Hates that we track & trace his every fake move & calls him out on so much. But his narcissistic traits means he loves having the spot light on him & probably thinks we fancy him, just like his no hope, no life, desperado fans do on his IG page.
News flash Fakey - we don't secretly fancy you. You are repulsive & a complete turn off.
News flash Fakey - we don't secretly fancy you. You are repulsive & a complete turn off.
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