Jake Quickenden #51 With fags in his pocket & sand on his toes, he'll be a liar wherever he goes!

[instashun]

This is just proof that he wants to be famous for ANYTHING. He doesn’t actually want to be a singer, performer or presenter. He wants whatever is easiest. So his new angle is grief and health anxiety.

Bet he won’t mention on Lorraine he was told it was in his head. That he smokes. That he doesn’t put a top or hat on his toddler abroad. That his wife plasters herself in tanning oil to cook herself. Despite all this worry he has

 

[Philimena cunk]

Someone else mentioned this earlier but as he has no work lined up, has Jake decided to go down the Ashley Cain (knob) motivational morning BS now? Hoping to become some sort of inspiration to the masses? ‘Get up, do something’. Most people go to work you numpty.

I'm amazed this lazy cunt gets out of bed to take a shit, never mind his pretend marathons...

 

[Sarivng2022]

I must be the only person who thinks Leo is adorable.

He's a standard looking kid to me. I can't say any child is ugly to be honest. I'd rather stick to slagging off his horsey looking parents

 

[MrsG03]

Wouldn't you just move that bowl to grate that cheese into instead of reaching over the rest of it?!

 

[PrincessJeanie]

So another poxy reel incoming from Flapz for the PR Stay from Poundland!

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I’ve never know an ‘influencer’ so shit at influencing Seriously what about that reel would make you even want to go there. Even the background music is shit

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Imagine the 2 of them of gogglebox , she’d have her notepad ready with what to say on each segment, like fuckin news at 10 reading the headlines, and if a sad scene came on the tv, he’d prob bring up about his dad and brother dying,Iikr he’s never mentioned it before , 2 scrotes if I ever saw a pair

Also both vying for the cameras attention and him calling her ‘bro’ or ‘mate’ Viewing figures would definitely plummet…..

 

[Philimena cunk]

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Oh fuck off!

His burner accounts on full throttle there ....

I obviously fell for it, I’ll give my head a wobble

These Q & As he does with himself, does he not realise the average Joe has work and lives of their own, and don't sit the with bated breath waiting for to appear.
Stupid cunt is having conversations with himself.
Nobody would watch you and your yellow faced mam on goggle crap ...
Or anything else, come to that ..

What a crap advert. What a staged conversation with Zelda. He's even posted it on TikTok for Christ's sake!

Can't believe this dickhead is on Lorraine again bleeting on about health anxiety. Bore off you cunt!

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Fucks sake man, change the record. You've got unemployed arsehole anxiety....due to having no work for the foreseeable future, and a meeting with DWP Colchester next week....

I’d stop watching if they appeared.

Everyone would stop watching it if Burt and Ernie was on it... boring cunts

Can't believe he's asking if people want Rose and Barbara back......what a fucking sad act!

Ide rather have Rose and Fred West back ....

 

[Cocobaby09]

lol ya know what this look says to me? An illness /injury is on the horizon.
cunt got all cocky raising that to 10k then said there’s no limited when it was clear that hes totally underestimated his popularity (shocka) and won’t even come close to half.

Spud with the usual vacant glazed over expression

 

[redball00n]

Sorry he's boring us all lately so I'm going over his embarrassing moments of 2022 feel free to all post your funniest quickenden moment

- When he did the OTT Halloween make-up for Insta content thinking the theme Day of The Dead meant zombies when it was actually the Mexican celebration.

- The pink suit, eyeliner, orthopaedic shoes, the fake fans with clipboards at the NTA’s.

- Everything about them at Ocean Beach. On the sniff, eyes popping out their head, Flappy with her fanny out, Jake snogging Wayne - embarassing, cringe and desperate and he knew it cos he deleted EVERYTHING the next day.

- Trying to get Dopey the Dwarf to speak for Tattle’s benefit and failing everytime.

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

I've just stumbled across this video of when Fakey was taking the piss out of Dubai influencers early last year. My my, what a hypocrite!

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Catching up eh Flapz because your car crash of a 'husband was on Lorraine for five minutes spouting the same old shit like a fucking broken record?

What's there to catch up on? Everybody has heard it all a million times before. In fact, he is going to start killing people with utter boredom!

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Funny how I mentioned this morning that she doesn’t share his TV appearances and bam suddenly that’s exactly what she’s doing. Hi Flaps

Sorry im catching up but I’ve never seen this video before and im absolutely dying he turns the camera off the minute she says its a psychological thing Thats possibly the best.

I still can’t believe the idiot shared it for everyone to see as well

 

[PrincessJeanie]

He’s so fucking gross. Who puts a question box up with a photo of themselves sitting on the toilet Obviously got loads on if he’s got time to do another BS q&a questions allegedly asked will be as usual about strictly, when he’s next on TV, having his own reality show, going on any reality show, coping with grief, marathon training, what a good dad and husband he is, etc…
And as if anyone is asking about his sunglasses Just another excuse to tag a brand in and brag that he’s wearing raybans.

 

[instashun]

He’s fuming that the bread winner is on a night out and he has to look after his kid. Enjoy your warm bath. Hopefully Sophie will fuck off to the brits without him.

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

Oh boy, having a great night tonight. Flapz is the gift that keeps on giving. The wording, the punctuation errors - it's comedy fucking gold. Also @PrincessJeanie are these ASA worthy but need copies with her name on?

Thank you Flapz. This had me laughing! Keep drinking that 'mum juice'.

Off he goes again with his rolling around with unsuspecting men! He loves it.

Second picture is how dry Flapz is!

Tumbleweed anyone?

 

[IamMyaJ]

Wonder if he’s got an ad for ‘prime’ coming up or as usual trying to get one . Didn’t work with Purdeys and definitely didnt work with beats headphones either . Fancy a 34 year old getting in on a drinks craze the kids are going mad for. He’s so desperate Don’t know how they’ve got so much washing when he lived and died in the same shorts and 3 or 4 shirts for the week. Moaning about it but he’s fucking off out for the day so obviously she’s doing it all anyway How dumb must she be. She does everything round the house. Obviously bringing in more money than him due to her ‘insta work’ plus he’s just been on a free holiday courtesy of her and he does absolutely fuck all apart from film himself, go to the gym and go on social media.

God he looks like a predator my 12 year old son is mad about these drinks why has he got them it’s like he is trying to lure the ‘boys’ god he makes me fucking sick between these cunts and Sallie Saville this past week I want to disappear where these pricks don’t exist

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

He is out breath climbing up the stairs never mind a marathon

It's those duty-free fags!

 

[riddleme89]

How do u keep it so real, how do u stay motivated. What we really what to know is when are u gona admit your career is a big flop and when are u getting a real job

Keep it real he’s the only man I know in a marriage and family and kids that disappears so much . That’s not keeping it real . He doesn’t cook or clean and he leaves them all the time to go gym kickboxing and everything else just to escape the house .

So, been reading here again answering another one of our Fakeys' comments? Who even has a microwave in a utility room anyway? I know I certainly don't and never would because it's unhygienic. Imagine warming up your dinner surrounded by piles of skidmarked old pants and stinking socks etc. The thought makes me feel sick and if a restaurant did that, they would be shut down immediately. Filthy Colchester chavs. Truly disgusting - just like her cooking.

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No fucker messages him he clearly read it here the daft twat he is . He so Wierd

Is she on the beg again for clothes stupid stuck up cow.Leo dresses like a tramp while she has more shit clothes than anyone could possibly need.Did not get gifted any bikinis so trying again to be gifted View attachment 1873494

Beggy bitch at it again she makes me sick
swimwear is swimwear who tucking cares just buy it in asos or next but she won’t because she wants gifted

both skint and beggy it’s teh reason they are so hated

 

[IamMyaJ]

WTAF he really is a utter prick.Look at the state of himAll happy full of himself enjoy your 5 minutes prick the dead you make a living would be ashamed of the arsehole you have turned into.He tells flaps at least 15 times a day he’s ill doubt those two fake twats talk that often in day.View attachment 1879104

These trousers give me register vibes

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

Or "It's all-inclusive mate, you've gotta get your money's worth!".

 

[riddleme89]

Wonder if he’s got an ad for ‘prime’ coming up or as usual trying to get one . Didn’t work with Purdeys and definitely didnt work with beats headphones either . Fancy a 34 year old getting in on a drinks craze the kids are going mad for. He’s so desperate Don’t know how they’ve got so much washing when he lived and died in the same shorts and 3 or 4 shirts for the week. Moaning about it but he’s fucking off out for the day so obviously she’s doing it all anyway How dumb must she be. She does everything round the house. Obviously bringing in more money than him due to her ‘insta work’ plus he’s just been on a free holiday courtesy of her and he does absolutely fuck all apart from film himself, go to the gym and go on social media.

Everybody says jake jumps on absolutely everything

The tiktok he did was because loads doing it " bruh" only his wife cant act for shit snd it looked pathetic

Prime isn’t anything special I’d rather monster over if or lucozade don’t see why there’s hype about it surprised he hasn’t started tagging Logan Paul and KSI. He is pathetic trying to keep up with the young kids what day you going to the job center Fakey or you going to continue to live of your beard…sorry wife

I doubt prime would need him to advertise for them they are in high demand fuck knows why but they are . They really don't need any z listers doing ads for them . He's just jumping on a trend like he always does daft twat he is