Jack Monroe #94 It’s okay Jack, others have taken up the baton

[People-huv-tae-know]

I'm finally caught up and I just don't know what to say anymore. She gets consistently lower each day atm. Obviously still a massive cunt (no surprises there) and still worshipping at the alter of Jack.

Marcus Rashford's last tweet brought tears to my eyes. He is so dignified, he doesn't waste words and he cares so much. The part about not condoning abuse towards women was unbelievably sweet. He has certainly achieved more than most politicians this year with his actions as opposed to Jack's hot air.

I hate that Jack is trying to steal his thunder and hoover up goodwill for herself with the lies and carefully staged photos. She needs to take a flying focus to herself. I presume her mum can see this nonsense on twitter and if she can, why is she not doing something about it? But then if she is poorly she probably doesn't have the energy to tackle Jack's bs.

Fingers crossed a journalist will do a credible piece on Jack Mitty, charlatan of Southend.

 

[emmer_moans]

Fuck, can you imagine her still regurgitating her bullshit stories for thirty more years? god help us all, there’ll have to be a media take-down at some point..

See people like Nigella, Nadiya and Jamie know when to go away for part of the year, to develop their skills, have family life, quietly work on projects with the occasional tweet here or there to congratulate colleagues on things. They come out for a show or book release or whatever, are around for a bit of exposure and then they go again, so that when they have something to promote enough time has passed, they have new recipes or tips or experience, and they don't over-egg the exposure for people get sick of them. That's how their careers last decades, and will continue to do so. Jack however has released 6 books close together but goes round in circles every week or so, being so angry or so over the top on Twitter all the time. She never really disappears for half the year to work on a book or to develop skills to present a show properly. She's soon to exhaust public good will because she spills all her personal life and thoughts, and lies, and is very unprofessional. If she doesn't go away and work on herself she won't have anything new to give in the future.

 

[HarderFaster]

Wonder if Louisa is going round again tonight? I can picture Jack, lying in the foetal position on one of her many, expensive sofas with her head in Louisa’s lap, in front of a coffee table groaning with the most expensive mezze from Ocado, wailing:

“Why has nobody with a blue tick mentioned MEEEEEEE with all this talk of free school meals?! I’ve been giving the exact same speech for nearly a decade so EVERYONE must know that sometimes my dad dropped me off to school in a VAN. Only POOR people have vans, don’t they? Please text Krishmate now and ask him to interview me about my lightbulbs again”.

 

[Alansbigplate]

She clearly thinks everyone except her are idiotic ninnies. And blind.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I think I’ve got too much to grunk today so I’ll try and catch up tomorrow. But I’ve mentioned before that I’m a member of the cult known as Slimming World (blessed be the carbs and deliver us from syns). Haven’t looked on the recipe page for a while and was browsing for stuff to add to the meal plan next week, what do I come across? CORN MASH. She’s ripped off their overnight oats recipes before and made it look like shit (the carrot cake on in particular), then the baked oats last week that looked like placenta (baked oats is super popular in the SW community but it usually looks more like a nice warm fruity cake in a dish) and now she’s passing their corn mash off by renaming it “moonshine” and saying it’s a cheeky riff on polenta from her maverick brain. Has she a single original thought?

 

[MrsOgre]

Has anyone shared this yet? Currently peeing myself

 

[Brian Butterfield]

No need to buy a trolley, a "kind reader" sent her one.

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She is utterly shameless, isn't she?

 

[Montrachet]

Is it just me, or does this feel like someone going through their 'Best Bits' before being kicked off The X Factor - leaving the more talented to carry on?

 

[chocolate choux]

Sometimes I worry that the crazy antics will dry up and these threads will cease to be, when we have a classic moment (terrible, Brenda’s bangers, the black eye) it’s easy to think it’ll never get this good again... yet every single time she manages to outdo herself? Like who’d have predicted a stack of envelopes and a mango wood related injury this weekend, we were expecting silence! She’s Dino napping now, but we’ll get a chaos later when she has to wake up guarantee it

We’re spoilt rotten really. As fraus have pointed out before, other Tattle threads endlessly have to chat about the same (relatively minor) things while we’re given new content on a near daily basis. I’m grateful for the ridiculousness as it helps to dull the outrage she constantly provokes. This thread would be a very different, dark place without the comic relief

 

[Cheesydips]

Putting the mango wood to one side for the moment. Jack you were 10 or 11 and I can guarantee you would not have been plucking your eyebrows at that time. Stop acting like you are so much older than you are. I am much older than you, I did pluck my eyebrows and I've got hardly any left as they don't grow back after repeated plucking. So those big bushy things above your eyes? Nah mate
Thanks to @ChickenPorridge ive pinched your screenshot View attachment 287373

How did someone speaking about cancer turn to a sympathy post about Jack, not even a hope you are recuperating well

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Google trends data for the last 7 days, we now have THREE keywords in the top 5, and 2 of them are above recipes, the third close to catching up.

Lurkers come out and have a chat please

 

[DeviledSmeggs]

This was retweeted by a writer Jack & I both follow. I’m not sure if it is a compliment or not...

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

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Oh, do fuck off, dear. You've just opened up some box files and taken your business accounts and junk mail out of the filing and stacked them up.

When you dump off the ASDA bag full of the things to your accountant, some poor bastard is going to have to sort through them to reconcile your accounts and delete all the personal spends you've tried to put through as legitimate business expenses. Which will put the price up of getting them completed, signed off and filed even higher.



But hey, perfect props for a photo opportunity for trying to carve off some of the good feeling/money being put towards helping hungry children and taking it for yourself, isn't it?



You're just a 'scuze me in a fancy house, wearing fancy clothes and frolicking around all your fancy furniture, fripperies and furnishings.


Tosser.

 

[Tabitha D]

Re the 'this shit never stops strangling you in your sleep' tweet. I cannot believe that if that was how she really felt she would (horse) spunk so much money on expensive furniture and clothes. For that remark to be true I do not think that it is her brief time struggling THEN that is causing it but perhaps possible debt struggles NOW. If some of those letters were from debt collectors or credit card bills perhaps it is debt that is keeping her awake at night. Do the Cotswold Company do finance I wonder?! All speculation of course m'lud.

And she dropped close to £3,000 on her little jaunt to Edinburgh. Over £300 on the first class one-way luxury sleeper up there alone. Several hundred more on the plush serviced-accommodation she stayed in. Lots of cash dropped up there on stuff she bought. Then she was “recalled” back home and had to get a last-minute first class ticket back home. (I mean, you couldn’t expect our Jackie to go economy in case she has to mingle with the povs, that wouldn’t be acceptable to our Jack at all).

 

[appleskin]

She's also had more than one "small relapse". There was the one a couple of weeks ago which she told twitter about and but she's also said she's had a few 'slips' previously to that. I can't actually remember where but even in the article she wrote about her one year sober she admits as much.

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Speaking of Louisa, I snooped at the strava yesterday and there was one that looked to start from Jacks house that has since been deleted.

Imagine being over a news programme and documentaries dealing with real poverty while sitting back knowing a friend or whatever the fuck they are, is knowingly happy to take money from those that are scraping by themselves. Jack may well be struggling but as she is not on benefits or even attempting to be it is her own money management problem.

 

[Tinyhandslegend]

Sentient hams!!!!!
HI JACK!

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Sentient mirror footage of Jack the past few weeks while MR has been BUSY getting hungry kids fed

 

[BlendedSlop]

Of course she's "injured" herself today. Fucking hell, she's more transparent than a pane of glass. What's the over/under on the Jackolytes starting a crowdfunder for a private chiropractor?

Mention of a ‘cast iron and mango wood’ table over on Twitter. Has this appeared before in the furniture audits?

She FOUND it in a puddle on the way back from posting her beige postcards! She can't afford butter! Leave her alone you vicious VULTURE!

 

[Fitnessqueen]

Reeling in them in, one squiggle at a time..

 

[Pocahontas]

This bird is not wearing traazers.