Jack Monroe #87 Anchoïade, anchoïade, anchoïade

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Stickybeaker33

Stickybeaker33

I wanted to let you guys know I’m something of a songwriter myself. I just wrote one and I’m super shy but thought I’d share.... actually this is a bit more of a spoken word type thing but here goes

Jack

Are you rich?
Are you poor?
Are you howling on the floor?
Do your followers give you money
For awful recipes?
Is it not really quite enough
to buy your livers and your peas?
It seems that what you really want
is a place to call your own
A little place for you and SB
Your “forever home”
Well Jack I have some news for you
You need to get a job
Stop scamming and tweeting bullshit
You annoying lying snob
 
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xoxo

xoxo

Screenshot 2020-10-12 at 17.29.59.png


I suspect this "bruising" is because she's had some Twitter replies today from people who didn't have their tongue lodged firmly up her ringpiece, like 99% of the replies she gets on Twitter.
 
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Captainmouse

Captainmouse

SoulRebel said:
Can you imagine her CV or being asked if you have any conditions that could affect your ability to work?
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Oh I know she’s totally unemployable, but maybe lighthouse keeper is an option, accommodation included and no boss or colleagues to piss off
 
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xoxo

xoxo

Screenshot 2020-10-12 at 17.33.42.png


I mean, this is her in a nutshell.

Endless whinging
Someone dares suggest a solution that's actually quite sensible
She gets snippy and OFFENDED and BRUISED

Yawn.

(AA = admin assistant)
 
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E

emm

MancBee said:
How will she ever save up for a deposit for her "forever home" (how I fuckin hate that saying) if she is spending all but 8.7% on bills? Oh I know, she will either:-

a) Wait until her parents die and she inherits part of the property empire......a risky strategy. The age that many parents live to, she could be a pensioner herself. Or else most of it could go in care home fees. Or they could leave it to someone else, or a charity.

b) Meet and marry some wealthy woman...... a risky strategy. She is becoming less and less desirable as a partner as the years roll by. What can appear fun and kooky in a young partner becomes very tiresome in an older woman.

c) She will crowdfund one....a risky strategy. This would generate a lot of scrutiny and may well be the catalyst for her to be investigated by all manner of authorities.

d) She will become successful in her own right......a risky strategy. You only have to look at the shitshow she has made of her career so far to see this is a non-starter.

Looks like she will be renting for the foreseeable at this rate. Renting this place IS her "forever home", like it or not.
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I mean lets be honest she could sell that expensive artwork and have a decent deposit withgod knows how many savings she has
 
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GoLando

GoLando

LennyBriscoe said:
And she was considering having another baby. I appreciate that was probably something she said for attention but what a game changer another baby would be on the finances
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Didn’t she also talk about getting a dog a week or so ago?
 
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Lanie

Lanie

I mean this kindly but seriously pet just get yourself a salaried job and live your life normally. It's not working and your making yourself ill for what??? Think about it. There is nothing happening now. Your kid needs a secure home and a happy mum.
 
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B

busylass

Themaninblack said:
I know this is our received wisdom, but I've been thinking.

1. The only evidence we have (?deleted, but we have receipts) for the "5 figure sum" from Hellmann's is Jack's statement on Insta that she had jeopardised her 5 figure deal by postponing her "show" so that she could take part in the BLM Blackout.
2. This led to a shitstorm of Hellmann's being called out for racism which snowballed (if I can mix the metaphors - fine writing, innit) once Alexis became involved and explicitly accused them of racist behaviour towards her.
3. Jack then backed down (on Insta) and said only that Hellmann's could have terminated her "show" had they been minded to do so, but they hadn't. In other words, she exaggerated for effect.
4. In other news, Jack broke twice as many bones in her foot as there are in the normal human foot.
5. This gives us a clear insight into #Jackmaths.

My conclusion? It was probably a 2 1/2 figure sum, if that.
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Agreed. I've always been suspicious that she was paid 5 figures for Hellmanns but that's what she told us. And there's one of her problems. Bragging one day about how much she's earning and then crying poverty the next. We remember what she has said and she can't put the record straight because the lies she's told will be shown up. She creates these tit shows all by herself.
 
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Nottonightbabe

Nottonightbabe

Cuileann said:
Her use of language always interests me. She's no fool, our Jack. So many pet adoption centres talk about 'forever homes', and sometimes (revoltingly) it's even applied to actual human babies who need adoptive homes.

She's placing herself on the same level as cute, sad animals who need some love, and babies who need a family. She wants people to pity her, and say "aww" and help her out, much like people want to help children and abandoned pets. She's targeting things like maternal instinct and the desire to help people out, and worst of all, it's working.

She's utterly despicable.
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Oh that language is 100% deliberate. It conjures up images of her and SB being poor waifs and strays, with no stable home. Again it's a subtle thing, but very manipulative.

I think she's been worse for this recently, the last couple of weeks she seems to have really ramped up the poor Jack image. That bloody food cupboard photo from yesterday, with it's tiny amount of smartprice items 🙄. She leaves all these little crumbs and lets people draw their conclusions, knowing that a large number of them will conclude that she's struggling.
 
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blurstoftimes

I still don’t get why they eat separately , it’s not like he’s 4 and needs to eat his dinner at 6pm? It creates more work, needs more ingredients, won’t encourage him to try new foods and just sounds kinda depressing?
 
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Fruitjack

Fruitjack

Christ knows I take some appalling pics of what is actually quite tasty food but I’m not showing them to quarter of a million people passing myself off as a food writer. Those last two pics she’s put up are grim
 
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