Jack Monroe #79 Big mistake. Big. HUGE.

[Themaninblack]

I wonder if at any point during the Dhansak Ransack she thought wtf am I doing with my life. I could be making a lovely sweet and sour veggie stir fry with this veg and pineapple, but instead I've got several pans on the go boiling shredded veg into submission, killing any nutritional value it had left.

I hope she had a moment of clarity, but I doubt it.

Dhansak Ransack. That has to be a new recipe title for her.

 

[ohok]

I’ve never posted here because these threads move at the speed of lightning BUT that rainbow (brown) dhansak is very silly. She shouldn’t be encouraging people to freeze and reheat stir fry mix with beansprouts in.

 

[bazzam]

I was just going to say this!

Entirely self inflicted.

Arrogant amateur, thinking she a) had a clear enough idea for this book when she really didn't b) that she could just bash it out in a few months because she's such a talented maverick and c) that being on Twitter non stop would in any way help her get her job done.

She's a talented liar but not much more than that.

ETA: A dog will somehow fix it, even though she's so poor she's got twelve jumpers on and is budgeting for REASONS.

if she feeds her son smart price sausages. what will she feed the dog? half decent dog food cost more than instant mash, value sausages and beans.

the phrase wouldn't feed it to a dog rings very true when it comes to her feeding him.

 

[LavaFlake]

Can't believe this Instagram account is getting all up in Jack's niche

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I actually think a bit of horse jism would improve that Aussie squiggle’s lasagna hugely.

'Can I substitute Kangaroo or Kaola spunk?'
"Yes, absolutely."

 

[LennyBriscoe]

View attachment 258509

Is nothing private with her? Well we know it isn’t, but what about her son? I bet his mates would love to know he falls asleep with his mum - if he wanted to tell them that’s fine but what about his right to privacy?

Sending the Fraus and Herrs big hugs. She really is immensely triggering (more so than the Australian lasagne *shudders*). I did think the other day we were just coasting along with recipes and yellow sticker delights...

 

[Harrybosch]

Thank you very much, this looks excellent!

And thank you to everyone for all the meal planning and recipe suggestions - there's so much gold in these threads but they move so fast I'm a fairly chaotic, wasteful cook and I find it tough to stick to meal plans so I probably could do with starting from scratch

For me a successful meal plan factors in that it's hard to predict exactly how the week pans out. I'm a big fan of having ingredients ready prepped in the fridge so I can assemble meals quickly. I'm vegan, so for me that means I have one or two types of pulses ready cooked in the fridge (they keep for around five days either in water or dressed), vegetables ready sliced or diced (root veg in airtight containers in water, other veg just sliced or chopped in airtight containers), some veg is great steamed and ready to go (sweet potatoes, butternut squash).I also gave one or two grains that takes longer than 10 minutes to cook (brown rice, quinoa, etc) ready in the fridge. I typically prep on sundays, but I'm not religious about it.
I then have several meals in mind for the week, depending on exactly what I've got in.
For example, I can make a quick lentil loaf (sautee onion, garlic and carrots with rosemary, add cooked lentils, oats, some stock and mustard, mix, put in loaf ton, bake) and put some veggies on a roasting tray alongside it.
Next day I might have stir fry of my ready prepped veg with rice noodles and a satay sauce.
The following day veggie burgers made out of the quinoa, some steamed sweet potatoes and beans. Served with a salad and potato wedges.
And then perhaps a veggie chilli with some brown rice.

But there are lots of meals you could create from those ingredients and that's the point. Maybe it gets hot and you just want a big salad with beans,steamed veggies and a nice dressing. Or you want a hearty soup. You can go either way, which means you aren't ridgedly stuck to a meal that no one fancies at that moment.

Home cooking is about being flexible within a structure. I'd hate to start each evening completely new. But I also dont want to eateftovers all the time. Prepping ingredients is a good compromise.

 

[NellieBoo]

I think a CHAOS is building up.

 

[lilamay]

Thread title??
#80 DON’T RUB YOUR FANNY ON ME

Read that to the tune of 'Don't You Forget About Me'

 

[Silver Linings]

Just call it Jollof Rice and be done with it.

 

[NellieBoo]

You cannot look after a dog if you can't look after yourself. They are wonderful but hard work and expensive.

Indeed. I have 4 dogs. We are failed fosterers (not all 4 ). It costs us an absolute fortune to insure them, feed them properly, general healthcare (flea + worming, grooming), and it pretty much amounts to a part time job on top of my actual job.

 

[lilamay]

I don’t know if this is real

I couldn't possibly just cut it into slices and share it with my family could I?! That wouldn't be very *Tom Cruise sunglasses*

Ingenious suggestion from @hydeist though, thank you very Matt much! What a curry this is going to be!

 

[Silver Linings]

She would have noticed he didn’t have it when he got out yesterday. Yet another twee cutesie story that when you analyse it makes her look bad.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Always helping the poor.

NO DSS.

 

[Apricotarm]

Who else just got the answer “narcissist” correct on University Challenge. I think we’re all experts now!

 

[Montrachet]

 

[crystaleyesd]

Ugh fraus, am BUSY and constantly on the grunka express.

The dog, though. Did she actually say she was going to get a rescue? I find that hard to believe - she will be desperate to get a tiny puppy for the likes and photo ops, and while I don't know anything about rescuing a dog, I don't imagine they hold many wee pups (please correct me if I'm wrong). SO she will either lie and say the pound MIRACULOUSLY had the most adorable pathetic lil puppo (... ...) that was just made for her, or it'll be a friend of a friend who just happened to have a litter and has gifted her one. And then she'll finally have what she's always wanted - a vulnerable, dependant sentient (the mirror is getting too big for its boots) creature who is endlessly needy and loving towards her. Oh, and makes her seem like less of a psychopath. UGH.

 

[Incywincy]

I would *love* to have a dog but aside from the financial implications, I have numerous health conditions which mean I simply couldn't guarantee I would be able to look after a dog/walk it regularly. Mr IW is not interested in getting one so I would need to be certain I could manage it regardless of if Mr IW started to love the dog too..

(I appreciate a well person could get a dog and then suddenly find themselves unable to care for it. But I know from the outset that I wouldn't be able to manage..)

Ugh. She rinses my beans

 

[SoulRebel]

How many days till deadline?

You've already done the burnout thing, you nincompoop. You asked for all the symptoms, got all the answers and ended up with a shitload of medication (which is not a cure).
You will have to think of another excuse 'gently and properly'.

ETA This has already been covered. As you were.

 

[Ellabella]

FFS, she's going to have tried every single suggestion that comes her way. Why do people bother?