Jack Monroe #78 All of your food is brown

[Alansbigplate]

and here's dinner with answers to our queries! that pasta ain't smartprice

oh, that's not actually dinner...? was that last night's then?

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That pasta looks...orite Jack

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I actually wasnt surprised when he came out. I thought he had always been out as gay, I didn't know he had a wife.

Same! I was genuinely surprised he was straight.

 

[kachoochoo]

Looking forward to the end of the week, when we tot up just how much she's made from her £20 Asda smartprice shop which was meant to feed her and her son 3 meals a day for 7 days! We've already disqualified the Tesco finest sardines lunch #rulebreak

ooh, yeah, we need a spreadsheet!

 

[Lanie]

she hasn't posted dinner yet

nowt since she was wittering to a squiggle about all the fire hazards her dad has warned her about.

these include, but are not limited to, electric blankets, silos, motorbikes and ouija boards. well, the ouija board isn't strictly a fire hazard, but there was wittering

Well you have to be careful the ghost you wanna talk too isnt a pyromaniac! it's very important don't ya know.

 

[Themaninblack]

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Seriously, what is the point of this vote? "For the one you're most keen to have!!" Unless you are SB (perhaps) or Mackie (double perhaps) you aren't going to be having anything. Even if you want to (treble perhaps).

 

[MarthaFarkus]

She said on the happy mum (loool, ironic much?)podcast that she doesn’t care about food unless it has a political angle, but she’s shit at that too.

She’s shit at being a decent human being too, you’d think she’d at least try.

 

[Malacandra]

It's a big callback, but I'm a very untravelled frau (plus frequent Grunker). Would one of our more jetsetting types confirm or deny that the River Nile is (as I suspect) brown? Could Eau de Nil literally be our friend's signature colour?

Oh my God, I have laughed so much today, even though I am sore all over after yesterday's medical procedures. You lot are a tonic!

 

[bazzam]

Spork, puh-lease.

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To be fair this looks ok. I imagine it would be very damp. I would eat it, but I am a cake fiend. But i would never waste good cake ingredients on tinned fruit. I seems like a risky recipe that could very well end up in the bin.

one of the squiggles told her the slop looked better than the "shit" posted by gino d'Campo earlier

well, I know what I'd prefer. mind you, fresh lemon. fancy. this is Gino's, not Jack's. obv. it's solids

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one of the squiggles told her the slop looked better than the "shit" posted by gino d'Campo earlier

well, I know what I'd prefer. mind you, fresh lemon. fancy. this is Gino's, not Jack's. obv. it's solids

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I am not that sure that may people would choose scrotum sausage over this. I know it is not for people who just like fish fingers, but bloody hell get a grip.

 

[Tabitha D]

This was while she was was in Edinburgh in Feb 2019. Louisa was with her but the photos were deleted (holding hands outside the castle). I reckon they were in the aparthotel on George Street that Jack went to during lockdown.

Although Louisa is tagged at the Cheval Edinburgh Grand in March 2019, so could’ve been there?

(ETA it’s also an apartment hotel by the looks of things, but looks pricier than the place Jack stayed).

 

[NellieBoo]

I've also said "marinade" when what I meant was "marinate" In my defence, I'd just woken up from my siesta (translation for Jack : my afternoon nap).

I think we are past those kind of finer details, dear heart .

 

[Lanie]

Because she knows we know, and she is worried the flying monkeys, I.e her Cash cow’s will find out. She keeps an eye on us so she can try and head us off at the pass, if she thinks we are going to expose her.

It's like something out of a James bond.

 

[Themaninblack]

Oooh no. I don't think she likes Clint Eastwood. I took one for the team and watched that God awful rage poetry video .

It would add extra piquancy (a word not in Jack's cooking lexicon!)

 

[BettyBetty]

Still grunkaing this thread but could someone clarify Jack’s age? I thought she was in her 30s? But the Companies House info has her date of birth as 1978? I’m so confused!!

 

[veryfondoftea]

Do you know what Frausters (and Herrsters obviously, we’re all inclusive here) I made a Quorn mince stew (nicer than it sounds) yesterday and I added a tin of UNRINSED baked beans to it and it finished the dish of a treat AND it didn’t look anything like the shit you make, so suck on that Jack you massive twat.

This sounds wonderful, do you have a recipe?

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I'm guessing she's referring to Tattle... where are the receipts where we all talk about dining out at chains? I love a basic bitch Nandos as much as the next frau but for a treat I'd rather eat at a local restaurant any day!



In all seriousness a very good friend of mine has this condition and suffers with it immensely. Not sure how I feel about this nickname because it's assuming all people with the condition are like R Jackie.

My sister too.. But given what we know about her estrangement from the truth...

 

[Mrslightyear]

Oh god so margarine pot

At least it's vegan...

 

[Pocahontas]

Still grunkaing this thread but could someone clarify Jack’s age? I thought she was in her 30s? But the Companies House info has her date of birth as 1978? I’m so confused!!View attachment 256771

It has her birth year wrong. It hasn’t been updated.

 

[FrumpyCat]

I know this has been mentioned a million times but HOW has NO ONE from her past ever come out and said: “You absolute lying toad, that never happened!”?!

Surely there is one person she’s been to school with, worked with, an ex friend (she sure as hell doesn’t have any current ones), past dates, a neighbour etc. It’s actually like she’s just been created as a character... she has just appeared out of nowhere with only a handful of people who have mixed with her: close family members and Mrs J x 3?!?

Weird to the point of creepy IMO.

super injunction? Or more likely, she is too irrelevant for them to take any notice of.

And with the exes. Probably think it is wise to keep on her good side.

 

[Dogmuck]

I don’t think you’ve had enough for Station Officer Steele @Silver Linings

She’s reminding me of the sports coach in Mean Girls too

Edit: how do I post a gif?

THIS LITTLE BEAUTY OF a drop down box at the top of your comments screen - soz about the caps my phone is being a twat tonight

 

[Lanie]

Seriously she’s fucking trolling me today! whoohooo Jack, for the record is “cheesy mustardy” the “very” florid and wordy you or the “very” childishly literal you? Can we talk about your over use of the word very? That’s considered quite childish in literary circles...it’s unnecessary so can we drop that, especially when you’re using big girl words like oscillate? Thanks mate

Pendulums oscillate perhaps shes looking for a new clock? Yes? No? Maybe?