Jack Monroe #78 All of your food is brown

[Veronicaaa]

Lovely stuff, @Bumbear!

 

[blurstoftimes]

She’s realised that any further TV opportunities are few and far between after spunking the £10,000+ she earned over lockdown, which would have been quite handy in a savings account right now. Still, at least she has a nice sideboard to lie on.

Um I think you’re forgetting the groundbreaking avant garde YouTube cooking show that Jack bravely wrote, directed, starred in and edited all under the witness protection program

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She won’t create an amazon wish list because she doesn’t actually want cheap bits, she wants lots of people donating so she can buy nice bits DUH !

Also I appreciate £10 is a lot if you’re on a tight budget but I cannot believe we are seeing a woman who’s spent over a grand on just three items - mirror, scarf, and hammock - complain about £10?

 

[Tabitha D]

One of her followers making a good point here. Which no doubt Jack will ignore.

 

[Alansbigplate]

she's a tory government's dream as she is giving them licence to slash benefits / school meal funding.

Precisely. I genuinely don’t understand how you can’t see this Jack (as you’re reading) unless either a) you’re a Tory mole or b) your food is designed to show what kind of slop people would have to be eating to survive. But you should be showing that you can’t survive like that, no one can or should least of all children and that’s why Marcus is succeeding because he’s said No More.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Re: the high street restaurant consultancy stuff, something in the back of my mind was telling me that I once read (in one of her books I bought before I realised what a bullshit merchant she is) a comment that alluded to her doing recipe development for Nandos (it was something peri-peri related at least).

So I had a quick flick through her two most recent culinary bibles to see if I could find the excerpt...and I couldn't, but I DID unwittingly come across a description of her essentially having an orgasm when sucking anchovy butter off her fingers for the first time.

No need to thank me for that mental image.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Actually I noted in the photo she shared (which was then posted here) of her bookshelves that she had a book about 800 cals a day plus the Pinch of Nom one. I'm tempted on the basis of this and her calorie comments to say she may have some kind of disordered eating. Not necessarily an eating disorder per se but some kind of issue around food and meals.

oh it’s already on her list of ailments - she loves alluding to ED stuff and she is grotesquely triggering about it.

Can you believe it’s only been 7 mere days since the revealing of peeky_mink?!

 

[Incywincy]

@Incywincy is on thread 68! Keep on Grunking .

I'm in #69!!


Not sure I noticed that JM deleted all of her tweets before reinventing herself in real time. Just seen the black eye again. So strange lol

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

For the price of printer ink you could probably buy sausages with 0% eyelash content instead of printing out half page pictures of David Cameron?

 

[Mrsfifi]

Hahahaaaa I’ve just found this thread thank you all for a whole Sunday of laughing my head off reading your posts about this bizarre creature. I have been accidentally following her for years on Instagram but never really paid any attention to her or what she was about. After reading these threads I have so many questions! Too many to ask actually but the two main ones are what is gunkaring (apologies if spelt wrong) and why on earth is every post she makes in some odd, headache inducing cartoon mode? X

 

[holliebollie]

I know this has been mentioned a million times but HOW has NO ONE from her past ever come out and said: “You absolute lying toad, that never happened!”?!

Surely there is one person she’s been to school with, worked with, an ex friend (she sure as hell doesn’t have any current ones), past dates, a neighbour etc. It’s actually like she’s just been created as a character... she has just appeared out of nowhere with only a handful of people who have mixed with her: close family members and Mrs J x 3?!?

Weird to the point of creepy IMO.

 

[Ninch55]

One of her followers making a good point here. Which no doubt Jack will ignore.

She did the goddamn same thing in Edinburgh. She could afford to book an expensive aparthotel but bought out the 10p whoopsie yellow sticker biscuits in the local Sainsbury’s. Someone could have had those and given themselves and/or their children a treat. But no, SuperJack has to get in there with her poverty claims.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Did she just invent melting cheese on bread and whatever else you fancy on top?

 

[Bookweevil]

Special Constable Mack Jonroe didn’t just put ‘notices’ (more time travelling, the 1930s on this occasion) in local Facebook groups. She didn’t just put many notices. She put many many notices. Tweets. Signs up near where it was found. And Etc.

Fuck it fraus, I’m going to claim it!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

View attachment 255828
People are still offering her things and she’s ever so sanctimoniously telling them to give them away and she would hate to think of things going to her instead of others.

As we know she reads here - £10k+ for a few hours work isn’t just a salary, it’s a fucking windfall of cash. It is SUCH a privilege to have access to big piles of cash like that at any one time & if you don’t make the most of it then more fool you?! And shame on you tbqh!

If you couldn’t save £10k (after taxes etc etc) in the midsts of a pandemic and the sharpest global recession in history then I’m not really interested in your money saving tips! Furlough the help and make your own white vinegar limescale cleaner? Fabulous but we’ve all been financially independent for time so fuck off!

 

[Adayinthelife]

View attachment 255356Special Constable Mack Jonroe didn’t just put ‘notices’ (more time travelling, the 1930s on this occasion) in local Facebook groups. She didn’t just put many notices. She put many many notices. Tweets. Signs up near where it was found. And Etc.

Fuck it fraus, I’m going to claim it!

I was in Sarfend in November last year (to see Tim Minchin at the Cliffs). I’m *sure* I just happened to lose my Burberry scarf...
I wouldn’t have seen any notices or FB posts on local pages as I don’t live there
Go on, dare me

 

[FrumpyCat]

I'm not sure that social services could take a child from a parent in a dark place tbh, but they would probably offer support. Millions of children would be in care if that was the case.

PS - I didn't replay in the last thread @lilamay, but I did miss anorexia off the list and love it that you counted the ailments!

They would not Not unless there was a serious risk of immediate harm.

I keep banging on about this because it is such a dangerous message to parents- seek help for your mental health and risk losing your children.

 

[Switchstreetz]

I’m in quite a few, no Burberry scarves popping up on the search. But as Jack said this was many many years ago so it’ll have been removed now. That is definitely why nothing comes up and not because it’s a lie..

On the Southend Crimewatch page someone had their car broken in to a couple of years ago and a Burberry scarf was one of the items stolen.

...was the robber described as looking like "an extra from Cats but with cold, dead shark eyes" ?? Asling for a friend

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yss but she grew it in her garden and milked it herself, so it doesn't count.

It was a gift from a friend.

 

[Mycuppatea]

I wonder how the book is coming on? At the risk of..., part of my job involves dealing with academics who .....write books. They can take years to finish one properly researched title. But... Jackie can churn out more guff whilst twatting around on twitter all day.

I still can't believe that she uses wikipedia for researching a supposedly serious, hard hitting book on politics, economics and social policy. I don't even let my teenagers use wikipedia for essays. Why would a political commentator of her exalted caliber use wikipedia? Maybe the miraculous burberry scarf has restricted blood flow to her brain? I and the other political prisoners are very disappointed in her.