Presumably the same problem with edible food?! Just ONE edible, visually appealing recipe??
Jack Monroe #77 Further into the depths of culinary depravity
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'I haven't had the confidence despite having LOADS of offers'
Why does she always misspell it? "Fingered half a leak" must be a reference to the (in)famous bechamel, surely? 
anyway, I noticed this yummy scrummy gratin was tagged in "entertaining" (ye gods it is) and I thought what else does she think is suitable for entertaining? so I had a scroll.
in amongst the bleak brown offerings, I thought oh this looks ok, you know, there's large bits at least
View attachment 252795
then upon studying said recipe, it concludes thus
View attachment 252796
"make a slurry"
followed by a plea to get her on the telly.
some things never change
Hallo Fraus! Goodness me, it’s taken me weeks but I’m finally here with you in the Now! I’m very happy to join you, although I’m aware that when I go to sleep, I’ll be back in the Then again.
I can’t begin to explain my feelings around Jack’s latest Asda shop and her insistence that those disgusting sausages are better than no sausages for her GB (Growing Boy). That makes me incredibly sad, not just for GB but also that Jack’s mental health allows her to feel that she’s Big and Clever for talking about him like that. I really hope she wakes up soon and gives him the love, attention and nutrition that he so deserves. I’d much rather she cook actual wholesome meals and show people how to make them go further, how to use cheaper ingredients etc - but as if that’ll ever happen!
I can’t begin to explain my feelings around Jack’s latest Asda shop and her insistence that those disgusting sausages are better than no sausages for her GB (Growing Boy). That makes me incredibly sad, not just for GB but also that Jack’s mental health allows her to feel that she’s Big and Clever for talking about him like that. I really hope she wakes up soon and gives him the love, attention and nutrition that he so deserves. I’d much rather she cook actual wholesome meals and show people how to make them go further, how to use cheaper ingredients etc - but as if that’ll ever happen!
Wait. What's all that stuff at the end? She's rallying people to her cause. She wanted them to get her a cookery show! She's absolutely shamelessanyway, I noticed this yummy scrummy gratin was tagged in "entertaining" (ye gods it is) and I thought what else does she think is suitable for entertaining? so I had a scroll.
in amongst the bleak brown offerings, I thought oh this looks ok, you know, there's large bits at least
View attachment 252795
then upon studying said recipe, it concludes thus
View attachment 252796
"make a slurry"
followed by a plea to get her on the telly.
Just saw an annoyIng comment from her on daisy May cooper’s post about her son’s name - me me me it’s all about meeeeee
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How can making a lasagne be so difficult? Crap strewn across every surface? What the duck is she doing?
YesHang on a minute. Didn't she do some video where she made lasagne to compare to ready meals and say she'd never made one before
?
That was the Lasagne Challenge video on the Guardian Food YouTube channel. "I've never made a lasagne."
Buuuut she deep cleans the kitchen 12 times a day!
Inbetween Working 20 hours a day, sleeping 22 hours a day, doing the school run twice a day scampering to Asda twice a day, going for dinner twice a night has 2kgs of mash in the freezer, yet buys instant, and of course regularly washing her hands🥱
I know she hasn’t got a blue tick Jack but would a “oh I’m sorry to hear that” have killed you?
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Daisy May's comment was about naming her child after a friend who had recently died. Jacks reply was "I approve" (because he is called Jack) followed by a laughing emoji. Talk about inappropriate.
ETA Just had another read of that Tweet and it makes me cringe with second hand embarrassment. Terrible.
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J Monroe, January 2014:
I asked my blog readers what they wanted me to tackle. The one that cropped up time and again was the humble lasagne. I promised I'd give it a go, wincing inside. You see, despite cooking every day for years, I'd never actually made a lasagne. All that snapping sheets of pasta, two different saucepans and an oven on the go. It felt like too much effort and energy use for just us – and my son never asked for it.
So, I bought one from M&S, unwrapped it, felt through that sticky white sauce and revealed layers of minced meat, tomato sauce and pasta sheets. Not so mysterious. Later, when I pulled my own out of the oven, hot and crispy around the edges, topped with bubbling cheese, and sat it beside its shop-bought relative, I couldn't believe I had made it to the age of 25 without cooking one from scratch.
J Monroe, March 2019:
Making lasagne is an arse. A labour of love. An every-pan atrocity strewn around the desolate wasteland of what was formerly your kitchen. I have made dozens of lasagnes in my short lifetime, and halfway through every single one comes the moment, without fail, whereby I survey the three pans on the hob, the piles of everything, the crap strewn across every available worksurface and some of the not-available ones, too, and I wail inside that I could have just bought one for less than a quid at the supermarket.
What was that about being unable to lie, ever...?
I asked my blog readers what they wanted me to tackle. The one that cropped up time and again was the humble lasagne. I promised I'd give it a go, wincing inside. You see, despite cooking every day for years, I'd never actually made a lasagne. All that snapping sheets of pasta, two different saucepans and an oven on the go. It felt like too much effort and energy use for just us – and my son never asked for it.
So, I bought one from M&S, unwrapped it, felt through that sticky white sauce and revealed layers of minced meat, tomato sauce and pasta sheets. Not so mysterious. Later, when I pulled my own out of the oven, hot and crispy around the edges, topped with bubbling cheese, and sat it beside its shop-bought relative, I couldn't believe I had made it to the age of 25 without cooking one from scratch.
J Monroe, March 2019:
Making lasagne is an arse. A labour of love. An every-pan atrocity strewn around the desolate wasteland of what was formerly your kitchen. I have made dozens of lasagnes in my short lifetime, and halfway through every single one comes the moment, without fail, whereby I survey the three pans on the hob, the piles of everything, the crap strewn across every available worksurface and some of the not-available ones, too, and I wail inside that I could have just bought one for less than a quid at the supermarket.
What was that about being unable to lie, ever...?
There are many recipes in the roasting tin cookbooks that are much simpler, just as cheap and def more appetising.
So many unnecessary steps. Why combine all those liquid ingredients in a jug first? Why stir in the liquid bit by bit. Why any of it?
I personally don't understand why she had to buy an M&S ready meal when she could have just googled.
Did you remember to add the calories from the LARD?I worked it out:
View attachment 252782
217 cals per serving, 83 of which come from the cheese (which doesn't even have a name like cheddar or brie...just...cheese
I mean, maybe she's putting a LOT of the optional breadcrumbs on top?
I messed up the wee ones fried egg at weekend I tried to disguise it with tomato sauce .Wee bugger scaped it off and said this just isn't okay
.She did eat her bacon and whined that Grampa needs to make me a poached egg really soon !
It would be another tea and toast for me tonight I am afraid.
I have said it before her food doesn't tempt me at all. It's sounds quite bland and uninteresting. I am hardly a pioneer in the kitchen myself but neither am I trying to be.
You forgot gaslighting charlatanJust so we know, she’s ‘generally mostly a hard rational and not hysterical person.’
Brava our beautiful princess, known as Amonute
For all the new frau/maven/people that can spell or understand what words mean, this is the current list of the jobs our wee Jackie has claimed so far. This is not trolling, this is what Jack Monroe has said herself.
Bar worker
Body Shop representative
Busker
Call handler - Essex Fire and Rescue Service
Chip shop worker
Craft business owner
Sex worker
Starbucks (barista?)
Sunday school teacher
Supermarket worker
Harvester worker
Stand in for Ruby Rose in a Stooshie video (one of our v funny times)
Accountant
Author
Book reviewer
Chef (not a chef)
Creative director (I think that this was around the time of the Washington Post interview)
Diarist
Food blogger
Food consultant
Trainee pharmacy dispenser
Food stylist
Journalist
Media manager
Patron of 9 charities
Photographer
Poet
Political activist
Publicist
Radio show personality
Recipe developer
Reporter
Sales manager
Singer
TV presenter....and mum
Final thoughts on lasagne:
Most lasagne recipes require two pans, one for the bechamel and one for the ragù, as well as an oven tinand a shelf, please make sure there is a shelf in your oven before starting. You'll also need a couple of spoons, a chopping board and knife, and a grater. It's involved, yes, but easy to make delicious!
Yesterday's moonshine mash recipe requires a roasting tin, blender, saucepan, mandolin, handheld veg dicer, frying pan, kettle and mug, and at the end of it you'll be eating instant mash, 32% meat sausages, and gravy granules.
You choose.
Most lasagne recipes require two pans, one for the bechamel and one for the ragù, as well as an oven tin
Yesterday's moonshine mash recipe requires a roasting tin, blender, saucepan, mandolin, handheld veg dicer, frying pan, kettle and mug, and at the end of it you'll be eating instant mash, 32% meat sausages, and gravy granules.
You choose.
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