I cannot stop thinking about Brenda’s foreskin sausages.
Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?
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It is!
I lost my very best friend this year to the big C. I miss her all the time. She was so sensible and with my autism I wish she was still here to help. duck you Jack, you selfish witch.Bless you, HB....I am so sorry to upset you. I know I am not the only one to go through this and it is definitely not unusual or unique.
I should have added (I realise now in retrospect) that he smoked...quite heavily in his youth and very occasionally mainly when having a beer of a Friday night...up until the day we left the hospital with his diagnosis. I can assure you up until then, we blithely thought it happens to other people so have a fag (or bacon and cheap sausage for breakfast and dinner, or another couple of beers etc etc - I am sure you all get my point).
I am a few years down the line now but am still as in love with him now as much as ever, if no longer in the early stages of agonising grief. Wasn’t doing much left hand tweeting whilst keening and howling and hugging my knees to my chest even then, mind!
The rank insensitivity she displays to everyone, be it cancer and chemo patients, ED sufferers, mental health and people managing autism spectrum issues, trans people, physically disabled people, lovers of the great Adrian Mole and his friends and family.....gosh - there are a lot, aren’t there! Is there any she hasn’t blithely insulted?
I really must swear more often! It’s quite the liberation, FrumpyCat!
A Simpsons snuggle pile! Now I feel loved! duck Jackie......she will never understand or know the strength and happiness strangers on the internet can impart.....too busy flogging the trolls shite for sympathy and clicks!
Hollywood will need to get in line. Brenda's bangers have already been signed up for the next series of Doctor Who. The one with the nice lady Doctor.
I am shaking laughing. It is just so bloody terrible. Tears, real tears.View attachment 251154
Cooper has met the only mice on earth that don’t tit themselves and run away at the first sign of danger... maybe they’re from Mars?
What Jack considered well groomed
View attachment 251155
I sort of puke laughed at your last sentence.I still can't get over the fact her recipe called for this cheap, water injected bacon to be chucked into bean juice stock. Getting the boak thinking of that salty, fatty spunk coming out
Gorgeously funny. The fox
I once fell over a fox and broke my arm. Furry ginger sod he was.I hope Barbara and her son are OK. But it’s obvious when sausages are cooked because they go brown and hey, follow the instructions on the bag.
A glorious day, indeed.
*whispers* they look like rough man hands. Working class hands in fact. I've been wondering if the testosterone she bought online and took willy nilly have had this effect. Or have her hands always been like this? They seem disproportionate to her otherwise diminutive frame.
Welly boot trick is a godsend-been here. Just put a welly boot down & more often than not they’ll run in then you can release them outside. Might need a chopstick to waggle about behind furniture to encourage them in. Ah, the glamorous life of the buggers is something to behold I tell you.
No, I reckon it’ll pop out of one of those basket drawers from Cotswold. Wearing a bonnet.
Oh god please don’t say things like Willy nilly after the sausage skin close ups
I don’t think the tattoos help the look of her hands.Oh god please don’t say things like Willy nilly after the sausage skin close ups
Ahm pretty sure I met one of Brenda's bangers when I was pished and pumped a lad fae the White Horse Shepherd's Bush.
Ever seen that programme, "The Deadliest Catch?" I imagine it's from one of those fellers she got her transplanted Franken-hands.
Found these pictures - she looks so different.
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Has Brenda been in R Jackie's cock drawer?
Well that was a bit of aOh my bleeping god Brenda, there aren't supposed to bein that recipe!!
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I've been grunking tonight, cannot stop laughing. Fraus you have been amazing. Honestly all the threads should be turned into a book, The Unofficial but Factual Jack Monroe. Sorry about the nilly willy comment, that was before I saw the prolapsed bangers and slop. I am both amused and repulsed. I agree Jack's hands do look grafted on Frankstein style. I can't believe there are people who pay for photos of them 
Sorry for bringing this up again when it is a sensitive subject but I went hunting for a screen shot of a long deleted tweet where she shows what a hypocrite she is.
Contrast cutting your son's sandwiches in a certain way - very serious, worthy of discussion and sad face emojis.
VS
Feeding him that crap meat day after day without any discussion with him around food choices (he's 10, not 2, and obviously a thoughtful kid) (I won't post her comment again, it's too crass)
Contrast cutting your son's sandwiches in a certain way - very serious, worthy of discussion and sad face emojis.
VS
Feeding him that crap meat day after day without any discussion with him around food choices (he's 10, not 2, and obviously a thoughtful kid) (I won't post her comment again, it's too crass)
Anyone remember when david guest used shampoo to wash up the pans on I’m a celebrity? I think Brenda boiled them. For about ten seconds
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