Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?

[Alansbigplate]

View attachment 251449

Eggs and cheese...because Vegan

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Eggs and cheese...because Vegan

ISH!!!
VEGANISH!!!
Can eat what she likes apart from those sausages

 

[Uberrima fides]

But I've even made a lovely collage just like Jack! View attachment 251465

The way those sausages are placed, it looks like someone is sticking up a V-sign at you. Intentional, Jack???

 

[Adayinthelife]

I’m going to have to reactivate my Twitter aren’t I? Omg I am HOOTING at this thread. How are we over half way to needing a new thread in a day? She’s the gift that keeps on spunking giving...

 

[Debarkle]

Maybe it’s cos I love telly but another thing I find really weird about jack is I’ve never really seen her tweet about massive tv shows everyone else is watching? (Apart from to snark at supermarket sweep!)

My whole timeline was full of GBBO tonight - so weird she doesn’t watch/ join in. Huge cultural moments she doesn’t seem part of - line of duty etc.

 

[Alansbigplate]

It’s all a big fat joke. She doesn’t eat it, her son doesn’t it, the cat doesn’t eat it - no-one in that house eats it (ok, maybe the fox eats it.)

She cooks up the most repulsive food she can think of, photos the hell out of it, writes a ‘recipe’ and slings it on her website. Nigella takes one look and thinks, ’Dear god, what is that muck’ and has a whip round of all the blue ticks. Jack’s patreon gets topped up and off she scampers to Marks.
The End.

someone earlier said their mum gets the tit frozen sausages to feed foxes...suddenly there’s a fox in Jack’s house eurgh I’ve got that creepy feeling HTRIA gets about her bleurgh

 

[Uberrima fides]

As if Katie Piper hasn’t already been through enough

Katie Piper is probably the only person who is brave enough to eat a Jack Monroe recipe.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Maybe it’s cos I love telly but another thing I find really weird about jack is I’ve never really seen her tweet about massive tv shows everyone else is watching? (Apart from to snark at supermarket sweep!)

My whole timeline was full of GBBO tonight - so weird she doesn’t watch/ join in. Huge cultural moments she doesn’t seem part of - line of duty etc.

I think it’s because she gets bored of anything that isn’t about her. In light of this, she should really check out I’m Alan Partridge. She might enjoy it.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Maybe it’s cos I love telly but another thing I find really weird about jack is I’ve never really seen her tweet about massive tv shows everyone else is watching? (Apart from to snark at supermarket sweep!)

My whole timeline was full of GBBO tonight - so weird she doesn’t watch/ join in. Huge cultural moments she doesn’t seem part of - line of duty etc.

Well we know she watches EastEnders after hearing her beautiful engagement to the last Mrs J story. Ah, the romance. Still gives me unexpected butterflies just thinking about it

 

[kachoochoo]

As if Katie Piper hasn’t already been through enough

ikr! like trying to learn to dance while gorka was busy getting off with gemma! (being lighthearted mlud I'm well aware of ms piper's disability)

she does not deserve to think she needs to eat this food.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Well we know she watches EastEnders after hearing her beautiful engagement to the last Mrs J story. Ah, the romance. Still gives me unexpected butterflies just thinking about it

she got so bored of watching that that she had to propose just to get the attention back onto her again!

 

[Scarletfever]

Christ, i've just read the recipe for moonshine mash.

That claggy wallpaper paste would have anyone backed up for days.

And why does she write about herself as if she is a food critic reviewing her own recipes? It's stomach churning!

"Moonshine Mash first appeared in Cooking On A Bootstrap, a bootleg riff on polenta made with potatoes and corn. I so named it because ‘hooch’, or moonshine, is typically made from potatoes or corn, and the idea of my own sneaky irreverent take on something usually considered quite special rather tickled me. This version takes the idea even further into the depths of culinary depravity"

Which inspires this:

Jack Monroe #77 Further into the depths of culinary depravity

 

[Alansbigplate]

Well we know she watches EastEnders after hearing her beautiful engagement to the last Mrs J story. Ah, the romance. Still gives me unexpected butterflies just thinking about it

 

[Pocahontas]

someone earlier said their mum gets the tit frozen sausages to feed foxes...suddenly there’s a fox in Jack’s house eurgh I’ve got that creepy feeling HTRIA gets about her bleurgh

Once more for the cheap seats (credit to my idol @MarmiteExtract)

 

[Switchstreetz]

So she doesn't care about her safety anymore because people need her recipes urgently. What a hero, Jack. MBE for services to slop <3

The only MBE jack will ever be awarded is for "Most Blended Ephemera"

 

[Alansbigplate]

Once more for the cheap seats (credit to my idol @MarmiteExtract)
View attachment 251499

Best ever

 

[Ninch55]

Comment of the year and thread title contender

Love you @Oofadoofa

 

[allybongo]

How on earth did she manage to eat that with her severely, ouchy, hurty, painy wainy, worst pain ever, send me doggos/cattos/birdos toothache?

She grated it

 

[FrumpyCat]

My beloved and most precious one has also left us far too soon due to the big C. He was fit as duck, still playing footie (admittedly in goal!) and cricket until about two or three years before his diagnosis. It took 8 months from diagnosis to his passing and he was in his fifties. My love didn’t just up and leave because he was sick and tired of living in a shitstorm of self centred drama. He would have done anything for one more day or week and I would do anything in the world to have another day or even an hour with him. But hey, Jackie - we’ve all gotta go sometime so let’s eat all the bacon, eh? You are an awful, insensitive oaf without a bleeping clue....stomping through your “career” whilst offending all manner of peoples lives and experiences.

It’s why her dreadful ouchy mouth cancer recipe book nonsense hurt so much. Like a recipe of slop would sort out all the problems of appetite and sickness, along with chemo induced ulceration and inflammation.

The ouchy mouth cook book announcement was one of the cuntiest things she has ever done. If she doesn't know how much cancer treatment can affect everything she is fortunate. Peddling her vile slop as though she was a qualified dietician. bleep.

 

[Harrybosch]

My beloved and most precious one has also left us far too soon due to the big C. He was fit as duck, still playing footie (admittedly in goal!) and cricket until about two or three years before his diagnosis. It took 8 months from diagnosis to his passing and he was in his fifties. My love didn’t just up and leave because he was sick and tired of living in a shitstorm of self centred drama. He would have done anything for one more day or week and I would do anything in the world to have another day or even an hour with him. But hey, Jackie - we’ve all gotta go sometime so let’s eat all the bacon, eh? You are an awful, insensitive oaf without a bleeping clue....stomping through your “career” whilst offending all manner of peoples lives and experiences.

It’s why her dreadful ouchy mouth cancer recipe book nonsense hurt so much. Like a recipe of slop would sort out all the problems of appetite and sickness, along with chemo induced ulceration and inflammation.

I'm a bottle of prosecco down but this made me cry. I'm so, so sorry for you losing your loved one way too soon. She hasn't got a clue. Please don't let her upset you. Lots and lots of love from a Hausfrau who is lucky enough to still have her mum in her life after cancer. It's no joking matter and I don't ever take it for granted.