Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?

[FrumpyCat]

My beloved and most precious one has also left us far too soon due to the big C. He was fit as fuck, still playing footie (admittedly in goal!) and cricket until about two or three years before his diagnosis. It took 8 months from diagnosis to his passing and he was in his fifties. My love didn’t just up and leave because he was sick and tired of living in a shitstorm of self centred drama. He would have done anything for one more day or week and I would do anything in the world to have another day or even an hour with him. But hey, Jackie - we’ve all gotta go sometime so let’s eat all the bacon, eh? You are an awful, insensitive oaf without a fucking clue....stomping through your “career” whilst offending all manner of peoples lives and experiences.

It’s why her dreadful ouchy mouth cancer recipe book nonsense hurt so much. Like a recipe of slop would sort out all the problems of appetite and sickness, along with chemo induced ulceration and inflammation.

The ouchy mouth cook book announcement was one of the cuntiest things she has ever done. If she doesn't know how much cancer treatment can affect everything she is fortunate. Peddling her vile slop as though she was a qualified dietician. Cunt.

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Good grief, reading this just made me lol so hard I've given the game away at work that I am in fact not as busy as I was pretending to be

My eyes completely skipped over the word "lol" in your comment, so I was thinking "Steady on there!"

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

I am absolutely creased at the 39p recipe (it isn’t 39p), the fact someone is having sausage with rice (wtf?!) and that right under the picture of the slop is the word thankyou and also a good ol’ rattle of the tip jar. S

She’s absolutely shameless.

PS. Even in her Celery Studios Edinburgh production, that isn’t casserole and it looks fucking disgusting.

 

[Harrybosch]

Found this in the comments under her 'ultimate lasagne' recipe.

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Excuses, excuses.

She is utterly incapable of saying sorry, I messed up. Jackie, dear heart, try it some time. It's what people want to hear when you've messed them about. Not your excuses.

 

[Bugger13]

I have a pharmacy tech like that near me. Likes to suggest ‘home remedies’ for whatever issue you go in with. Luckily (without wishing to triangulate myself) I work in health so I know to ignore her...(and I think most people do)

This reminds me of a 15 year old boy I know whose mum was a doctor’s receptionist. I helped him with his CV-he’d put ‘diagnosing & treating disease’ as a skill. When I queried it, he said he often went into the waiting room to ask people waiting what was wrong with them & suggest remedies A budding jack.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Remember- she hates trolls.

 

[Harrybosch]

I’ll post the whole thing, for your reading pleasure.

I’m proud of you, Fraus - she addresses the “five a day” fiasco. Except there’s no way there’s even 70g of kale in there.

Sausage, Bacon & Many-Veg Casserole, 39p

For many reasons, I am returning to a very strict groceries budget for the foreseeable future. Yesterday I went to the supermarket – in two separate trips, as I was on foot with a backpack &#…

cookingonabootstrap.com

I"m doing mafs today

210 g carrots + 210 g onions + 200 g mushrooms + 240 g beans (the 160g liquid don't count, you silly bint) = 860g veg

860g / 80g = almost 11 portions in the whole stew.

almost 11 portions / 4 (she says it serves four) = not quite 3 out of your five a day

Don't get me wrong, I don't think a dish that includes 3 portions of veg is bad - just stop fucking lying about it.

This, dear reader, is much more annoying than Eau de Nil.

 

[Silver Linings]

Hilarious.

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s deleted this one.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

What twee alternate universe does Jack occupy? Your postman doesn’t give a fuck about what you’re cooking they’ve got a shift to get on with, and your garden appears to be over run with vermin sort it out humanely obvs

 

[Dogmuck]

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funny the things you make up.

Proper working class royalist bet she secretly buys the daily mail and cuts out photos of Di (gawd bless her she’s wiv the angles now) and has 3 lever arch files full!

 

[lilamay]

I’m kind of hoping that Seraphina comes back with the Henry Hoover gif ..

Ah that would have been amazing! Still, I think her reply was pretty good -

 

[MrsOgre]

How long until she does a chaos like her good pal Captain America and 'accidentally' tweets a nude?

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How come this collage already has tonight's dinner on it

 

[MooBelle]

She’s put her politics hat on, Fraus. View attachment 252041
The top one is like a shit poem. I’m sharing because how can she talk about ethics when SB’s body is rebelling against the shit she’s feeding him just for twitter content. Twat.

ETA - Welcome @Traazers
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<Christopher Walken in a turban saying ‘yawn’ gif>

The thing that jumps out to me is that SB's sister is 9.
SB's dad didn't waste any time did he?

 

[Montrachet]

A congenital liar who is also a petty and tiresome pedant is not what stubborn about facts normally brings to mind. Scampering halfwit.

It's the small things that expose these dishonest idiots. Messages deleted, but she was recently 'hoofing' packets of Biscoff, Custard Creams, Doughnuts ....


Jack Monroe

Replying to
Squiggle

I don’t have a lot of sugar these days, none in hot drinks, I’ve given up sweets and biscuits and the only cakes I have I make myself, and that’s not frequent.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Is she going to the dentist today and had an onion and pickle sandwich for breakfast?

 

[emmer_moans]

She tweets an awful lot for someone who basically lost the use of her hands two years ago

Her hands are probably in permanent claw shape because she holds her phone and uses her thumbs so much to tweet. Like Chandler from Friends when he gets addicted to the pacman arcade machine

 

[Pocahontas]

How come this collage already has tonight's dinner on it

It’s all a big fat joke. She doesn’t eat it, her son doesn’t it, the cat doesn’t eat it - no-one in that house eats it (ok, maybe the fox eats it.)

She cooks up the most repulsive food she can think of, photos the hell out of it, writes a ‘recipe’ and slings it on her website. Nigella takes one look and thinks, ’Dear god, what is that muck’ and has a whip round of all the blue ticks. Jack’s patreon gets topped up and off she scampers to Marks.
The End.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Sorry, my bad — she was training to be a dispenser, apparently.


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NO ONE walks into the pharmacy and asks to speak to the Dispenser..

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Are those sausages or spring rolls?!

Get it on rate my plate, she’s there with Carol C!!

I zoomed in to check exactly that, I can’t recommend it, it looks like something’s - I’m so sorry for saying this word - prolapsed