Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?

[hydeist]

I'm Northern Irish and I absolutely LOVE instant mash when I'm ill or just feeling like a lazy witch but it is expensive. This one is the best

 

[Captainmouse]

She lost over 100 followers yesterday - over 1,000 since she reactivated on Sunday.

Yay! Run squiggles run

 

[Alansbigplate]

Apologies fraus that I am behind on p18, but I have got an ouchy mouth, I have an abscess under a tooth and have had to come home from work as the pain is so great. 2 hours of root canal work tomorrow to sort it out

you could try a slick of red lipstick? Recommended by a lady doctor x

Or burst out crying when she encountered a full on psycho 'the customer is ALWAYS right' person who lives to make retail workers lives hell.

Reader, she IS that customer

I'm Northern Irish and I absolutely LOVE instant mash when I'm ill or just feeling like a lazy witch but it is expensive. This one is the best

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Look at the way Eamonn is judging you for it

 

[LavaFlake]

This will be Jack's next hairdo... I'm convinced. She's going to go full Karen/I'd like to speak to a manager.

 

[MancBee]

I cannot stand the way she writes her recipes - especially when she describes say, a pea risotto as a 'pea, onion, garlic and chicken stock risotto'.

I have just made a flour, butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, milk, jam, with butter and icing sugar buttercream filling cake.

You don't need to mention the whole list of ingredients in the recipe title Jackie Dearest.

 

[Veronicaaa]

To be fair to Jack, Brenda clearly hadn’t followed the instructions. No way have those sausages been in the oven for 40 minutes unless the thing was switched off.

Aha but! To be fair to Brenda, Jack's actual recipe doesn't say to put them in the oven for 40 minutes (she only did that because she wouldn't see fit eat the sausages herself, just feed them to her son). The actual recipe kind of boils the sausages in the bisto gravy/baked bean/lard mix.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Aha but! To be fair to Brenda, Jack's actual recipe doesn't say to put them in the oven for 40 minutes (she only did that because she wouldn't see fit eat the sausages herself, just feed them to her son). The actual recipe kind of boils the sausages in the bisto gravy/baked bean/lard mix.

Oh God, poor Brenda

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Don't forget her miracle use of the water rower! Why would you even bother buying a rowing machine if you don't have any grip or use of your hands? That would just make it a slidey seat machine!

I was thinking this. While rowing is an exercise for legs and glutes - you certainly need grip for the last phase of the stroke. Yup I rowed at uni and socially for the last 10 years (even raced at Henley FANCY)

 

[Captainmouse]

I cannot stand the way she writes her recipes - especially when she describes say, a pea risotto as a 'pea, onion, garlic and chicken stock risotto'. It doesn't make it sound fancier Jack, it sounds bleeping stupid! I let her crap cooking trigger me waaaayy too much but being a popular recipe writer is my dream job and she just totally wastes it.

Found another very telling and eye-roll worthy comment on her blog. A BRUTAL portrayal of her life

Go Simone

 

[Pocahontas]

To be fair to Jack, Brenda clearly hadn’t followed the instructions. No way have those sausages been in the oven for 40 minutes unless the thing was switched off.

Then she showed the sausages to the pan and they said, ‘Get to absolute duck, I am not getting in there like.’

 

[kachoochoo]

I'm Northern Irish and I absolutely LOVE instant mash when I'm ill or just feeling like a lazy witch but it is expensive. This one is the best

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there's a cheese and bacon one as well.

 

[Bugger13]

In the first of the quotes from above.....
"I take criticism as well as nice comments, what a daft thing to say"
Followed in the same paragraph by
"I'm sorry.........that you felt the need to hurt my feelings about it."

So you can't take criticism because it hurts your feelings, therefore not such a daft thing to say at all.

Either you can accept criticism in the way it is intended, to inform you when things are not up to an acceptable standard. Or you get hurt when someone gives you negative feedback. You can't have it both ways.

(I directed that to her, as we all know she is reading here.)

That was so annoying. Always the bloody victim-even more sorry someone complained-they should have quietly donated it somewhere despite the fact they’re your customer?
Ever seen Jack just quietly have a word behind the scenes when she’s feeling hard done by-like when the lights went off on her train or when Jamie got a job she wanted or when she thought social distancing wasn’t good enough on the train etc etc
It’s always one rule for victim jack & one rule for the rest of the world.

 

[Pocahontas]

Remember- she hates trolls.

I’m kind of hoping that Seraphina comes back with the Henry Hoover gif ..

 

[Alansbigplate]

Then she showed the sausages to the pan and they said, ‘Get to absolute duck, I am not getting in there like.’

They are pan fried. And the pan is cold and still in the cupboard

 

[lilamay]

I’m kind of hoping that Seraphina comes back with the Henry Hoover gif ..

Ah that would have been amazing! Still, I think her reply was pretty good -

 

[Uberrima fides]

Thread suggestion

Jack Monroe #77 Jack inspires her discipline St Brenda Of The Sausages to make slop

 

[Harrybosch]

Who actually describes their own recipes in this way??

And who on earth "reveres" polenta

I really, really like polenta. I'd say more than the average person. I still don't revere it.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

2. Do breadcrumbs belong on top of a lasagne?

No.

 

[Pocahontas]

No.

Unless you’re making a lasagne kiev, that is.

 

[bananasplit88]

Brenda and her lovely lasagne crumble.