Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[MooBelle]

yes, absolutely xView attachment 249899

Fuck sake Melissa. Look at the state of it...

 

[Walkdengirl]

Could she not get the extra bones in her foot covered in the excess skin on her hands and create some kind of extra limb to hold her other phone with? Science *man tapping his temple gif*

I've just sniggered out loud at that. Now fuck off

 

[Lanie]

May be she uses it for putting( non biscuit) things in?

Perhaps it's has slips of paper that give her a clue to what she wants to be that day. You know like in that game where you get a card and you have to guess who or what you are by people giving you clues.

 

[kachoochoo]

Why has it got fourteen legs

smartprice gm chicken, innit.makes extra wafer thin slices

 

[PoorPatrol]

Some of my favourite bits were when @blurstoftimes said something like ‘Aw, Yel - can’t we ban her?’ and @Begborrowsteal telling her that she was making a show of herself. And I know I always bring it up but when she told @Harrybosch that she was entitled and demanding!

But honestly - there were too many perfect moments, so if you did print out thread #31, Jack - sling us a copy this way will you? Ta.

Jack sending you 20,000 pages of gifs

 

[bananasplit88]

Tell that Victorian ghost to get to absolute fuck

View attachment 249711

Oh no, I'd forgotten that hideous shirt/skirt combo. She has zero style.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Peeky is definitely rubbing hands together for Brexit, but using possible second lockdown as the bridge to Brexit. Fine if she actually helps people but we all know it is going to be slop. Didn't JM get bored of the commitment of Lockdown Larder and have to be reminded by fans to do it?! I'm sure that LL kept tailing off last time.

Just chuck it in a curry babes.

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

But the big question is - will she pass the “peripatetic” module?

I'd love to know what she thought that meant. I've been trying to think of similar sounding words that would fit the context and actually make sense, but I've got nothing.
(Insert gif of confused looking woman trying to work stuff out)

 

[Yellowfairy]

Jack is the gift that keeps on giving. Her life is one big snark fest and keeps giving new material to snark on.

 

[Pocahontas]

Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, Wolf of Wall Street, Tom Cruise

And heretoread’s trying not to laugh man.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

I took one for the team cabal and listened to that Improving Lives podcast. I'd forgotten how awful it is to have her voice pumped directly into my ear drums through headphones. She sounds particularly adenoidal and, incidentally, bored as fuck though mercifully we are spared from her heavy breathing.

I listened too, because clearly I am incapable of learning from my mistakes.

I thought the podcast chaps were in stark contrast to Jack; they clearly want to help people and have their own *current* experiences trying to navigate the benefits system, which lends them an insight that Jack just does not have.

The crisp chat was just weird, though.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Isn't that a stew? I though casseroles were cooked on an oven.

I have a casserole dish that goes in the oven have I been doing it wrong?

 

[Veronicaaa]

What's the countdown on the due date for her book, now? About 25 days or so?

 

[Oofadoofa]

Woah, horsey. Is she actually doing the old tory MP generalisation that people from ‘broken’ homes most likely end up in poverty? What a .

Possibly, but it definitely came across as just tripping herself up, of nearly forgetting the lie. She wanted to say one thing and changed her mind mid-sentence. It must be exhausting.

 

[emmer_moans]

Teething necklace coming in 3, 2...

I am sure a new stock-take photo of her pharmaceutical drug collection will be produced very soon... Ouchy Mouth is the rendition that always seems to bring all the people to the yard... an assured attention boost.

 

[NP]

The train is at the station but the brains are below the hips and padded Mediterranean arse walloping themselves off the tracks

This should be her next Twitter bio.

 

[kachoochoo]

May be she uses it for putting( non biscuit) things in?

nah, she only puts things in bags! besides, as suggested upthread, it probs is full of cash!

fuck, it's the *actual* tip jar! shakey shakey kitty!

 

[Scarletfever]

She tells him about her visit there in this blog post

View attachment 249406

He would have been about 8 then

"Gristly sausagemeat" what the hell, why does she buy him / let him buy this crap when there is better available? The poor thing, sounds like he was really hungry for some decent food if he went to such lengths.

 

[Scotty1976]

If she means that microwave looking thing perched precariously on top of her microwave then that is shocking. Fifty billion extension leads snaking past the hob and along the worktop to ‘roast’ frozen sausages for 40 minutes.

I don’t think her actual oven works, she was always weirdly testy about it on DKL and never cooked in it live.

Her very own Aga Saga !

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Lol dear Marmite didn’t you tell her to absolutely get to fuck when she did come? I remember reading it at the time during a work call thinking ooh these people are being a bit rude to her and talking about ice lollies and now I’m like ‘get to fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck’

Haha no, I don't think so! I did ask her some Very Important Questions that she refused to answer and told her we weren't forcing her to stay, but I definitely didn't tell her to shove it.