Jack Monroe #65 Green gages and ham

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Oh my god, I've just stumbled on the article she wrote announcing to the world that she was vegan...apparently she didn't just eat meat, she was ADDICTED. Probably severely so.


Also:

1. I've been vegan for years and years and have never been asked more than once or twice how I get my protein, but the way she words it here makes it seem like people were coming to ask her that in droves?

2. She goes on about not being judgemental blah blah blah YET MADE HER SON BUY AND SKIN HIS OWN SAUSAGES AND TOLD HIM ABBATOIR HORROR STORIES

3. I'm not convinced about her claim that chickens should only lay 12 eggs a year my friend has chickens which largely do whatever the fuck they want (mostly eating her flowers) and they lay nearly every day
 
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Good grief. Just catching up, and have seen the latest Twatfest on Twitter. I’m sat here wondering how the fuck she even has friends. If I’d heard that a friend was struggling to cope and needed a distraction, I’d have done the same. Not with scoby, but maybe with something else that needed care and attention, and could prove to be a satisfying ‘anchor’. Had I done that, put thought and time into gifting something with the best intentions, only to find it thrown back in my face, publicly, that would most definitely be the end of that friendship. And I wonder if she’s asked this friend how THEY are doing? How THEIR mental health is?

of course, if it had been Nigella doing the gifting, I feel it would have been a different story.
 
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I wonder if she gets as anxious about SB coming into contact with Covid when he's not with her, which appears to be a lot of the time. Does J insist on a say in where he can go and who he can see? even though dad is probably more than capable...
 
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Do you think she even got given the scoby or if she bought it herself? I am at a point now where I just assume everything she says is fiction.

I also hadn't heard of a scoby until today though, so that's nice and educational of her
 
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..thinking of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer uses that 'pecky bird thing' to press the button on his computer because he's too busy lazy to do his job properly.
 
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how do you stop them we have two at the farm that literally rule the roost and do what the heck they like when they like and they sometimes lay daily other times they don’t ?
 
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I'm so confused. I thought she had nearly finished the book BEFORE the chemical rollercoaster? Didn't we have tweets to that effect?
Yeh, but I think she's deleted them now.
Did a search for her twitter handle and "manuscript" and found these (her publisher must be delighted to see her mucking about on twitter when she's an entire book to research and write):
 

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She definitely doesn't have friends.
 
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The alcohol thing; i read that as shes drinking kombucha now but is being careful with it. Shop bought may be 0.5% but home brewed can be higher. Shes not fucking sober.
Honestly what is she playing at? I didn’t want to comment cos I’m not classy enough to know anything about brewing kombucha but it’s not the sort of shit you entertain if you’re sober at all?! Likewise her alcohol free beers.

Also she can seriously fuck off talking about covid / lock down / anything, she’s been on too many a dalliance to act all coy now. Plus sorry to be a bitch but she’s hardly keeping on top of her hand hygiene is she

Can’t remember what else I wanted to rant about she’s been that annoying today
 
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how do you stop them we have two at the farm that literally rule the roost and do what the heck they like when they like and they sometimes lay daily other times they don’t ?
Well, exactly! Cork up the bum? You'd think she would've fact checked that, but no. Can't be arsed. My friend's chickens are super happy, super healthy, living their best lives, she's thrilled that they lay so well but doesn't really care if they do or don't as they're basically pets. Perhaps no one's told them that laying more than once a month is frowned upon
 
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Do you think she even got given the scoby or if she bought it herself? I am at a point now where I just assume everything she says is fiction.

I also hadn't heard of a scoby until today though, so that's nice and educational of her
Well now you mention it...yeah, the jury’s out. So she bought it herself, possibly. I mean, how little does she know herself?!
 
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Totally agree with everything you write. Also, it’s the way that she just assumes automatic and indisputable authority on any matter that she suddenly adopts. It’s her most annoying trait, like fuck anyone else who has been fighting for this cause before me, the final word is now mine. And then what, a few months later the fad gets boring and she disowns it. If there’s one thing that she has in spades it’s arrogance, if only she could bottle and sell it, she’d make enough to buy 10 houses.
 
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Please don't

How poor is poor Jack? So poor that she could only afford a trip to Edinburgh, and designer furniture, white goods and clothes. And she only has 2 smartphones, plus all the other phones. But she's far too poor to pay for a tutor for the boy who actually spends most of his time at his dad's.
I'm sorry I can't remember who said it earlier but I agree that it appears she is gearing up to announce that he will be living with his dad permanently.
 
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Aaaaaaand this is top of the list in Google when "Jack Monroe Marcus Rashford" is searched. But... remember you said you would keep us posted Jackie!!!
 
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Gah I really hate talking about SB but if he was actively missing out on something she knew she could provide if she didn’t fuck off to Edinburgh and spaff money anywhere she possibly could then that’s absolutely appalling. Shame on her.

ETA - I couldn’t afford a tutor either and tbh my child didn’t need one as I worked my bloody arse off taking home school seriously and not sleeping/tweeting. Although break was coincidentally around DKL time in April.
 
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Jack! Ffs stfu!! His privacy. Again!!

Ooh i’m so cross with her. That’s on her, not him. Poor love.
 
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