Jack Monroe #65 Green gages and ham

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Pocahontas

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Congratulations to @JoyceDivision on your second consecutive thread title! Knocking it out of the park!
60 reactions


Recap of thread #64

Friends, Jack Monroe has been BUSY:

  1. She needed some bins, but no, not THAT type, cretin! She’s going to use cardboard boxes instead. Is that ok with you?
  2. She retweeted Marcus Rashford. According to a fan: ‘She has the same passion and drive, for sure.’ Sure, Jan.
  3. She’s gone back to her original price tiers on Patreon. Could it be that she may not be able to provide a higher-tiered reward system?
  4. We saw prints of ‘Arm Holding Posy (Not Centred). Southend’ (disclaimer: not actual name) and what her business cards look like.
  5. She waxed lyrical about greengages from *whisper* Waitrose, took lots of photos of greengages, endeavoured to make jam from said greengages, and did so in her slow cooker. It turns out her jam wasn’t as nice as her grandad’s was.
  6. Some learned fraus were able to access the hallowed BBC radio dramatisation of her life, and provided hilarious commentary.
  7. There was Twitter flirtation betwixt Jack and James Wong. James, if you want to be ‘fed treats’, you might be in for a wild surprise.
  8. Jack had fun with a magnifying glass, using them to take some photos of a handful of Nik Naks berlotti beans.
  9. She plated up The Creature from the Purple Lagoon. There were multiple pictures; she was proud. Fuelled by accident and whimsy, she might post a recipe over the weekend, she might not.
  10. For the first time in her ‘whole mad life’, she ‘actually fleetingly thinks’ she might want to run a very small restaurant one day. Oh no. Talk her out of it.
  11. She can recite poetry.
  12. Talking of creative writing, there have been some fine examples of the art displayed by some of the fraus: an imagined menu for Slop, Southend by @LavaFlake , a gritty, yet touching post-apocalyptic fable by @BlendedSlop and an inspired vignette by @edinburghcastle . There’s nothing much more sublime than ‘Traazers? On a bird?’ for me at the moment
 
Reactions: 82

JoyceDivision

I’m a double doctorate?! What larks!

Looking forward to the extra Vlad dollar this month, the cheap wet ham...mocks won’t buy themselves

TVMM.
 
Reactions: 41

Harrybosch

Reporting for duty. Marvellous recap, @Pocahontas. I'll send you borlotti beans as a reward for your stellar work. Speaking of which, what is the mystery of the bean she's trying to solve with that magnifying glass?
Where's the ephemera?
Does a bean dressed in vinegar a pickle make?
Where are my tastebuds?

I fear we may never know.
 
Reactions: 35

Pocahontas

Moderator
These are all riddles that you and your newly-formed task force must demystify, dear heart! Vlad has arranged for an immediate deposit of bitcoin into your accounts, and there’s more to come once you have solved these rhetorical puzzles.
 
Reactions: 17

ClarenceBeakes

Made some awful jam using fruits that weren't even rationed in 1942. Fucked it up.

Threatened to open a resto.

Some shit with beans.

Posted some slop across various social media like a monkey throwing shit at the walls.

Got a bit paranoid about fraus infiltrating the Twitter feed..

Googled some poetry.
 
Reactions: 50

Silver Linings

She’s refusing to use the clever fraus advice to stop spamming instagram with separate posts all the time. She hasn’t breached a thousand likes with the last batch. I reckon she’s been asleep all evening, like the good old days.
 
Reactions: 21

Saint_clemmie

MancBee said:
I need to go to bed, but I always end up needing an hour in the morning to catch up. Is she nocturnal?
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Well she said at 1pm today that she had over slept and spoiled her Jam. She was BUSY writing a long list of friends with restaurants until 5am don’t you know?
 
Reactions: 21

Pocahontas

Moderator
Saint_clemmie said:
Is this the famous tinned Mac & cheese she speaks of, with some veg slung on top?

View attachment 226341
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She was SO holding out for a new thread to start, wasn't she? Hilarious! I can imagine her all primed to go with her pictures of the cat and the cheesy pasta and muttering, ‘Just fucking making the new thread already, I’m WAITING.’
 
Reactions: 34

Harrybosch

Saint_clemmie said:
Well she said at 1pm today that she had over slept and spoiled her Jam. She was BUSY writing a long list of friends with restaurants until 5am don’t you know?
Click to expand...
So relatable. Who amongst has hasn't needed hours to write down all the restaurant owners they know?
 
Reactions: 25
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