Jack Monroe #64 One hand refreshing Twitter, and the other one playing the piano

[colouredlines]

Re: working most of her life in customer service.

Jack was born in 1988. She was a call handler from 2007 - 2011 (although we know that she moonlighted as a weirdly dressed bartender during some of that time).

She has been the food writer, activist, blogger, photographer, poet, TV presenter, mother, author, shin kicker, slop purveyor we know and love since 2012.

I'm no mathematician, but...

 

[Pocahontas]

A last minute addition to “potatoes” for dear heart Jackie? Via our fav BritishGoop

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Haha! You beat me to it

 

[blurstoftimes]

Re: working most of her life in customer service.

Jack was born in 1988. She was a call handler from 2007 - 2011 (although we know that she moonlighted as a weirdly dressed bartender during some of that time).

She has been the food writer, activist, blogger, photographer, poet, TV presenter, mother, author, shin kicker, slop purveyor we know and love since 2012.

I'm no mathematician, but...

Maybe she considers replying to peasant non-blue tickers on Twitter as customer service?

 

[Pocahontas]

Maybe she considers replying to peasant non-blue tickers on Twitter as customer service?

Yes! Don’t forget her inbox is always open - she’s providing a service.

 

[Captainmouse]

For a start she will need to attend the hygiene course to obtain her certification for food handling. Well they will take one look at her hands and rusty knives and she's toast, and that’s without premise.

 

[MancBee]

Yes! Don’t forget her inbox is always open - she’s providing a service.

Unless you are asking for a recipe. Then she just says "buy my book, not sure which one it's in, so you'd best buy them all", or words to that effect.

 

[help i need some help!]

She blended jam? BLENDED JAM??? ffs Grandpapa will be spinning.

As for a pop up restaurant, I have visions of her appearing on the Thursday Southend market, offering the same as all the other food vendors but blended.

 

[Heron1267]

Talk me out of it but most importantly, DONT YOU DARE talk me out of it

also what a load of absolute tit. Why do none of her followers question these outright lies?!
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What the tit is Dave on about anyway? Surely if you own the place you DO have to put up with the tit from customers, if you just work there you can LEAVE (Teehee), whereas if you own it then you’re stuck listening to the customers moan?

 

[help i need some help!]

Gizzi & Miguel got just over 1000 views for their tinned food collaboration. Proper getting up in her niche.

That's probably why Gizzi gave Jack kind words about the risotto, keep her quiet. How could she go off on one to someone thats been so nice to her?

 

[Captainmouse]

Bangers and burgers in Brighton is hiring, sure that’s right up her niche

 

[FrumpyCat]

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Except when they were at the River Cafe, the Groucho club, out buying tiles etc

 

[LavaFlake]

Bangers and burgers in Brighton is hiring, sure that’s right up her niche

Nah too solid.

 

[Toffee finger]

I’d love her to open a restaurant in Southend, I’d take one for the team and give it a try. Though I imagine every person would have to do a lie detector test to check they aren’t one of the cabal before being allowed to enter.

 

[Lanie]

Unless you are asking for a recipe. Then she just says "buy my book, not sure which one it's in, so you'd best buy them all", or words to that effect.

I have seen her right she does alot of stuff for free recipie wise, yet she couldn't tell that lady how long to pickle a few beans without saying read on of my many books it's in there somewhere. That's not free advice that's an advertisement.

I’d love her to open a restaurant in Southend, I’d take one for the team and give it a try. Though I imagine every person would have to do a lie detector test to check they aren’t one of the cabal before being allowed to enter.

Of I remember right quirky food like spam fritters and things did make a comeback in some high end places a few years back but it died a quick death. I don't know how her tinned food recipies would fare unless it's like a homeless pay what you feel type place? Your not going to pay top dollar for a spam fritter.

 

[Billybellend]

Good morning, Cabal! It’s been a long, heartbreaking and knackering week at Bellend Towers. If only there was someone who could make me a bowl of roadkill innards, with a vague promise of opening a restaurant

Well, pickle my plums, dip them in coffee grounds and kiss them with an orange....there IS!! My life is complete.

 

[LavaFlake]

Welcome to Slop, Southend. Food served when I'm not BUSY, okay?

Entree
Five fat cloves of garlic delicately roasted in a Russell Hobbs 700 Watt microwave

Starter
Grated baked bean ephemera served with a tomato sauce jus and plenty of cracked black pepper

Main
Dehydrated horse spunk lasagne, swimming in blended kidney beans. Served with a side of frozen spinach marinaded in bottled lemon juice

Dessert
10 malted milk biscuits, stacked with biscoff spread, mango chutney and a sliver of marmite

Now fuckoff x

 

[help i need some help!]

Well, all the late night, reading/blending/tweeting did have a positive side in that she engaged in a nice way with her mum. Easy to do isn't it J?
Though I think mum will withdraw her request for jam when she sees its been BLENDED. Her reaction will be equal to her tinned macaroni response

 

[IndigoStar]

Good morning, Cabal! It’s been a long, heartbreaking and knackering week at Bellend Towers.

It has been an absolute cuntyballs of a week here too! Never been so glad to make it to Friday, lol.

There better not be any dramas today at work. I need to catch up on this hilarious place

 

[Billybellend]

It has been an absolute cuntyballs of a week here too! Never been so glad to make it to Friday, lol.

There better not be any dramas today at work. I need to catch up on this hilarious place

Sorry you’ve had a bastard of a week as well Still, onwards and upwards eh? There’s slop to be made and fruit to burn

 

[Bugger13]

Shes been watching JO, thats how he talks about his recipes

And nigella-Jack has completely aped her style with all the ‘a tumble of jewels’ to describe sprinkling pomegranate seeds. Boils my piss but at least Nigella came up with it first (& can actually cook).
And is clearly too polite to be annoyed that Daniel Blake has nicked it (& also utterly ruined it).