Jack Monroe #63 I tend to move in circles of cookery and politics rather than outrage and vitriol

[Harrybosch]

Hey guys. Just a quick heads up. Some of you may not know, some may have forgotten, but please remember, regardless of what you can see, read or hear with your very own eyes and ears, dear Jackie is always right.

She hates exercise, never exercises, but has abs from sleeping 22 hours a day, whilst working 20 hours a day. She is able to do this because she's the happiest she's ever been whilst being in the darkest pit of hell, living sober on a chemical rollercoaster. Her son and her are hooting and fizzing with delight as he's always with her, in the landlord's bungalow or the landlord's garden.

Please don't be confused when you see pictures that seemingly show she isn't socially distancing or Ruby Rose. She is in fact both socially distancing AND Ruby Rose.

Please accept that you are just too stupid to get it. Now duck off and bake a vegan mayo cake. It's what Viv would have wanted.

 

[Bobtheknob]

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Comedy gold.

 

[Pocahontas]

Hey guys. Just a quick heads up. Some of you may not know, some may have forgotten, but please remember, regardless of what you can see, read or hear with your very own eyes and ears, dear Jackie is always right.

She hates exercise, never exercises, but has abs from sleeping 22 hours a day, whilst working 20 hours a day. She is able to do this because she's the happiest she's ever been whilst being in the darkest pit of hell, living sober on a chemical rollercoaster. Her son and her are hooting and fizzing with delight as he's always with her, in the landlord's bungalow or the landlord's garden.

Please don't be confused when you see pictures that seemingly show she isn't socially distancing or Ruby Rose. She is in fact both socially distancing AND Ruby Rose.

Please accept that you are just too stupid to get it. Now duck off and bake a vegan mayo cake. It's what Viv would have wanted.

Christ, you’re sexy when you’re being a voice of reason and authority.

I will duck off, and with pleasure!

 

[ClarenceBeakes]

View attachment 221853

Absolute munters!!

Looks like a still from the worst home porn movie ever.

 

[Pocahontas]

Looks like a still from the worst home porn movie ever.

It pretty much was!

 

[Boyo]

Please don't be confused when you see pictures that seemingly show she isn't socially distancing or Ruby Rose. She is in fact both socially distancing AND Ruby Rose.

Hi all. Loooong time lurker, first post. Been here since DKL and never looked back. I laughed so much at this Harry. She is everything.....and yet, at the same time, isn’t. Jackie M - Schrodinger‘s twit.
Thankyou. I will now duck off.

 

[hydeist]

Actually, he did. Eamonn is my cousin and he’s a lovely guy. He wasn’t faking it there.

Aye dead on

 

[Missmopps]

That’s a very dry looking meal. The kidney bean burger itself looks dry and there’s no mayo or anything on the bread. (Cucumber doesn’t count, it just makes everything soggy). Plus it’s been oddly photographed - there’s way too much bread for a start, why are there 3 different types of bread rolls and only 1 burger?

What’s the white stuff on the burger? Flour? Icing sugar?

 

[Breakdance Badass]

What’s the white stuff on the burger? Flour? Icing sugar?

Bolivian marching powder

 

[Alansbigplate]

Aye dead on

I see the family resemblance

 

[Fiddledeedee]

Whoever uploaded the Edwina Currie clip cut out the best bit - Jack screaming "WE'RE HARDLY THE bleeping JOHNSONS" in response to Edwina bringing up her comfortably middle-class upbringing. Cue Rachel Johnson squirming awkwardly next to her.

(First post! Have been Grunka-ing and dying to join in for weeks!)

Babe, same!

 

[crystaleyesd]

What’s the white stuff on the burger? Flour? Icing sugar?

I think the poor person that attempted this didn't understand the sloppy consistency expected from a JM recipe and desperately tried to keep the burger from falling apart in the pan by tossing a bunch of flour at it.

 

[BelfastBorn]

She makes a lot of good points in that (very shaky) speech but I did laugh at 'Get off Twitter and stop arguing with each other'

What IS it with her voice though?

Back in my day we didn't cook much as students. We drank a lot though!

It's 20 years since I saw my eldest off to university - her brother followed 5 years later. Sad to say, I did not give either a cookbook but both must have absorbed something from living with their father and me, because they soon figured it out! and neither has ever cooked slop, despite being financially challenged.

 

[Fiddledeedee]

It takes one to know one, or wasn`t there an old proverb like that? Insert hoover gif

Could this be the missing Sarah Vine / Michael Gove link?? *sniiiffff*

 

[Saint_clemmie]

What IS it with her voice though?

Insecurity and terrified of being outed as the fraud she is. “My grandfather is dead” what she really meant was “duck, how does she know?”

“ I failed grammar school!” Lol

 

[BelfastBorn]

Sarah vine makes her HOOT

View attachment 221738

He was my boss and believe me, very little hooting went on.

 

[Tabitha D]

Thinking back to the days of “Potatoes” (only about a couple of weeks ago), wasn’t she going to be setting it to music or doing it as a performance piece or something? I guess that never happened - yet another thing to add to the very long list of things she’s given up on. Maybe she lost interest once she’d got the begging bowl out and reeled in a few more Patreon subscribers.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Thinking back to the days of “Potatoes” (only about a couple of weeks ago), wasn’t she going to be setting it to music or doing it as a performance piece or something? I guess that never happened - yet another thing to add to the very long list of things she’s given up on. Maybe she lost interest once she’d got the begging bowl out and reeled in a few more Patreon subscribers.

I’m sure struggling parents would also really appreciate if she finished her list of cheap lunch ideas too, you know, before September

 

[Saint_clemmie]

He was my boss and believe me, very little hooting went on.

You are certainly very well connected!

EDT - in all seriousness though, can you convince Eamonn to come join us here and spill the tea?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

This thread is taking me to the fair today. Hooting, fizzing, wheezing