Cringed my innards into an origami crane
Jack Monroe #601 Replican't
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Cringed my innards into an origami crane
Thought she might be up packing 3 years of backdated missing postcards into bubble envelopes, drawing new moisture deprived vegetable drawings for next month's patrons etc etc. Nahhhhh.
Meanwhile, if she's absolutely sure she's staying in 2025, I'm going to get the delorean out and tap a destination year as "any one but this one" and see where I end up.
Meanwhile, if she's absolutely sure she's staying in 2025, I'm going to get the delorean out and tap a destination year as "any one but this one" and see where I end up.
Come on then guest pal, show us your resolutions then, we like a good laff
Tosser
HNY ninnies x
Tosser
HNY ninnies x
duck me did she spend the Xmas holidays at Pompous HQ at the feet of Wispa The Greek? also, the post-absence social media love is strong, I give it til the weekend until she snarks
Here we go again with the casual discussions 
just what SB wants - to kick back and relax with a movie and his mam’s incessant horseshit life lessons.
Is she on about Ted the movie? With the bear? Is the discussion about how she sold his toys during the pov? Did she have her 40 tramadol a day delivered hidden in a teddy bear? Did she watch a Victorian era costume drama and get so triggered she ripped the head off a bear?
She sucks the joy out of everything like a smelly, short, badly dressed dementor.
just what SB wants - to kick back and relax with a movie and his mam’s incessant horseshit life lessons. Is she on about Ted the movie? With the bear? Is the discussion about how she sold his toys during the pov? Did she have her 40 tramadol a day delivered hidden in a teddy bear? Did she watch a Victorian era costume drama and get so triggered she ripped the head off a bear?
She sucks the joy out of everything like a smelly, short, badly dressed dementor.
I saw the film Ted at the cinema. I was very depressed at the time. It was not glorious, funnily enough. All I really remember is that it's typically seth MacFarlane crude and Marky Mark is in it like he's in everything. It definitely has like "adult" themes but I can't really blame her for this one as kids are gonna watch stuff whether you want them to or not and at least if she's there too she can talk to him about why seeing prostitutes doing a tit on the floor or whatever it was is not something to aspire to.
I failed to see Ted 2.
I failed to see Ted 2.
Oh god I was thinking of Paul! The alien stoner with Simon Pegg in? Urgh Ted would be like watching Family Guy with a parent, that’s nooooooooo
I saw it because someone else insisted on watching it and all I remember is that the only time I laughed, or indeed smiled, during the ordeal was at a fart joke.
I’m sure SB has been watching Family Guy (or at least clips of it) for a long time now so it won’t have been shocking to him, maybe if there was a scenario like the one you described Jack was reminded of her febreeze brothel days.
yeah I'm calling balls on it being his choice. I mean as well as on it happening at alll
I've not seen Paul but it does sound a bit more wholesome
BIB for first thread title of the new year (last word only left out because of swear).
Happy New Year to all in the canal - I don’t post a lot but you all help me get through the days more than you know. Wishing you all the best of everything in 2025.
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“Cringed my innards into an origami crane”
wine came out of my nose
Paul is great! Nothing that wouldn't be suitable for younger viewers, and some very funny jabs at obsessed sci-fi fans. If guest watched it she would go on about all the insider references she "got", except being guest she would get them all wrong.
Realizing that it's already New Year in some parts of the globe.....nonetheless, Happy New Year, ninnies!!
Starting 2025 as a self-satisfied fake - never change love you give us too many lols.
HNY ninnies! May your days be sunny and slop free.
Jack the twit has started 2025 like she started 2015 with a pack of lies
Jack the twit has started 2025 like she started 2015 with a pack of lies
I find it odd, i spend every new year with my kids as they live with me. We watched movies and had a takeaway. I thought it what happened when you became a parent, even if we go to house parties my kids go and play with other kids. Why is any of this news or inteteresting. I bored myself.
This is the sort of thing you tell friends. Usually when they specifically ask. And minus the hyperbole.
Once upon a time, I was a drunk and used to write like Hack in verbose messages to actual friends. It was a way of overcompensating for my inability to do anything in a moderate normal way and to keep them off my back when I was really in The Lost Weekend.
This is why I find it easy to translate Jack's SM posts, even though I'd like to give her, or anyone, the benefit of the doubt.
It's good to enjoy the small things; they make life. But I see through her desperately trying to create an interesting life on SM.
Over on the Food and Drink thread (reminder that everyone is welcome) we chat rit. It's different because it's not to an audience. Jack, we are not the same!
Once upon a time, I was a drunk and used to write like Hack in verbose messages to actual friends. It was a way of overcompensating for my inability to do anything in a moderate normal way and to keep them off my back when I was really in The Lost Weekend.
This is why I find it easy to translate Jack's SM posts, even though I'd like to give her, or anyone, the benefit of the doubt.
It's good to enjoy the small things; they make life. But I see through her desperately trying to create an interesting life on SM.
Over on the Food and Drink thread (reminder that everyone is welcome) we chat rit. It's different because it's not to an audience. Jack, we are not the same!
“Do teddy bears always talk about sex and drugs so much, Mamapoppins? Because Paddington Bear this profane little ursine ain’t, Mamapoppins. Oooh, is that the sort of activity your ‘johns’ were wont to request during your oft-mentioned shifts down at the local rub-n-tug parlour, Mamapoppins?”
He won’t get them. The income cap for school meals is set at around £7000. You pretty much have to be not receiving the other benefits you’re entitled to to get them. We are pretty low income as families go and we don’t qualify.Without being awful, why TF should SB get free school dinners? His ridiculous mother is rolling in cash, she bragged about the five-figure Hellmans deal, she was on national tv living with a C4 exec who earns six figures.
Notably, she had nothing of her own to show when the Covid/half term/school dinners x Roadside Mum scandal went viral. Nothing sent home for SB? Clearly not, instead she inserted herself in to RSM’s business.
*all the kids should get dinners IMO akshually. I’m just pissed off atlittle miss. Moneyhoarder
Happy New Year Ninnies one and all!
Will 2025 be the year Jack publishes the VBI and fulfils her Patreon obligations?
Absolutely NOT.
Will 2025 be the year Jack publishes the VBI and fulfils her Patreon obligations?
Absolutely NOT.
Happy new year, you lovely people! Me and Mrs-P-to-be have been struck down since Boxing Day with this particularly nasty virus that's doing the rounds but I decided to have severalteen drinkies last night anyway. Have woken up still slightly pished and am now happily listening to some old school dance classics and bed-boogeying along. I hope you all have a wonderful 2025 and get everything you want/need.
Not you though guest. You duck off.
Not you though guest. You duck off.
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