Jack Monroe #601 Replican't

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Winning thread title by @Valiofthedolls, based on this post by guest. Censored for swears; actual title was Replicunt. You win an AI chatbot trained on grifty pixie tweets.

Recap: Best described by @Seaford Haggington: "She is only 700 posts in and has already repeated almost every toxic behaviour from the last decade. Quite an achievement." Guest was last seen a week ago arguing with squigs over Cooper's health insurance, or rather lack thereof, and arguing with Carp Man. Apart from some suspicious sock activity, she hasn't been heard from since so we've been mithering over slops of Christmas past. Was guest visited by three ghosts who convinced her to change her ways, or will she resurface the same chaotic lil slopgoblin she's always been?

Wiki up on the pink button!

 

[Seaford Haggington]

I had a dream about a carabiner, except in the dream the thing that everyone was calling a carabiner was a kitchen timer. I don't think guest has need of a kitchen timer.

Maybe her silence is explained because she is busy writing a delicious and nutritious budget recipe blog post for 2024? So far there have been zero (0) this year.

 

[MistyWindows]

I am very behind because I was busy working (it’s this thing where you go to a place of business, work your arse off and use the money to survive guest), eating delicious food and drinking delicious gin, but wanted to reply to our queen @Valiofthedolls post about the wreath and don’t know how to quote from an older thread.

That whole trip she took was so cringeworthy it could kill someone with a weak disposition, but the fact that she got this beautiful, handmade and gorgeous fabric, literally the most authentic and unique thing she owns in her ‘more money than sense’ beige middle aged hovel, and then savaged it by cutting it into tiny shreds to turn it into a childlike Sunday school (as IF she was a Sunday school teacher at any point in her made up sad little life) project, to impress sugar mommy Leggy, who no doubt stared at it in horror whilst wondering how ‘it all came to this’.
Underrated violation she’s so mundane and basic that she destroys anything nice she can get her paws on.

Also, hope those eels have a long shelf life, still mad we didn’t get a picture of that Christmas dinner

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Happy Stephenss'ses'es' Day from the arse end of Ireland, Gobshites! (That's Ninnies, as Gaeilge!) x

 

[Lazarus]

The limited edition photo with the massive curly wig used to be my profile pic before I finally settled on the one I have now

 

[MooBelle]

Can I ask a question to the Lesbians on the thread please?
In all innocence, is a carabiner an actually normally regarded gift for lesbians?
Until Jack suggested stringing a tea towel up with them I thought carabiner were just called 'D clips'
This Christmas I have had 3 different friends (all lesbians) post on social media about getting carabiners as Christmas presents and being thrilled. The accompanying quotes have been 'typical lesbian gifts' and I'm starting to think I've missed the cultural reference?
Tbf all.of these friends go hiking/rock climbing but I'm thinking I've missed the lesbian/rock climbing connection.
Apologies for stupid question but my family have just left after 3 days and I'm frazzled and the wine is just starting to hit....

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Guest is TOO SMOL, ouchy, arthritic, crumbling, disfigured, etc. to go rock climbing which is why she still hasn’t taken The Teen she’s Mama of on that adventure holiday

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Can I ask a question to the Lesbians on the thread please?
In all innocence, is a carabiner an actually normally regarded gift for lesbians?
Until Jack suggested stringing a tea towel up with them I thought carabiner were just called 'D clips'
This Christmas I have had 3 different friends (all lesbians) post on social media about getting carabiners as Christmas presents and being thrilled. The accompanying quotes have been 'typical lesbian gifts' and I'm starting to think I've missed the cultural reference?
Tbf all.of these friends go hiking/rock climbing but I'm thinking I've missed the lesbian/rock climbing connection.
Apologies for stupid question but my family have just left after 3 days and I'm frazzled and the wine is just starting to hit....

As Ireland's 21st least interesting lesbian I have to say; Yes, I would see it as a result to get one of those little yokes in a cracker.
For keyring purposes.
I wouldn't attempt Everest or whatever Jack uses them for.

 

[MavisBeacon]

As Ireland's 21st least interesting lesbian I have to say; Yes, I would see it as a result to get one of those little yokes in a cracker.
For keyring purposes.
I wouldn't attempt Everest or whatever Jack uses them for.

I too love a mini carabiner - I use them for clipping things to other things, like my water bottle to my backpack so it doesn't keep falling out of the side pocket. Or my umbrella to my handbag if it's a bit wet. I have never been tempted to make a makeshift colander out of them.

 

[Kittypops]

"I'm just a cara-beaner blogger"

 

[rage naan]

"I'm just a cara-beaner blogger"

Well, rinse my carabiners!

 

[phoebuscartel]

Replishan’t?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I had a dream about a carabiner, except in the dream the thing that everyone was calling a carabiner was a kitchen timer. I don't think guest has need of a kitchen timer.

Maybe her silence is explained because she is busy writing a delicious and nutritious budget recipe blog post for 2024? So far there have been zero (0) this year.

The figgy pudding ate her.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

My cracker Karabiner has a little note in it saying...not to be used for climbing or load bearing.

That's fine.

 

[AlwightDallin]

Fingers crossed for a chaos soon, it feels a chaos-y time I’ve had the fluiest of flu over Christmas, not helped by my in laws who turn up and expect a maid service but obviously I’m not in guests position of barely being able to grasp a spoon so I suppose we should consider those worse off this festive time. Hope you all had a lovely day of jellied eels, salad pesto and dog biscuits, ninnies

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’ve acquired a few carabiners, they’re really good for clipping things with. Like my bag, which I put things in is a bit deep so I carabiner my keys to my purse.

 

[bracrumbs]

Wait, are you people using a carabiner to clip stuff that needs clipping?

can someone tell me what to do with this bag please? And also this spare usb stick I have?

 

[elepal]

Fingers crossed for a chaos soon, it feels a chaos-y time I’ve had the fluiest of flu over Christmas, not helped by my in laws who turn up and expect a maid service but obviously I’m not in guests position of barely being able to grasp a spoon so I suppose we should consider those worse off this festive time. Hope you all had a lovely day of jellied eels, salad pesto and dog biscuits, ninnies

Commiserations, tenderstem. Hope your in-laws caught your flu!

I've had the squittiest of squits for the last few days. Clearly I dodged all the winter bugs right until I finally got some time off work The inside of our toilet bowl has resembled a veritable slopalong at times. Something something loodio

 

[BeardyBap]

Howdy Ms Zourabichvili, could you please advise if a deep fried squirrel po’boy should be served with ketchup or traditional po’boy sauce, asking for a friend, thankyouverymuch and yee-haw

 

[hereforthechaos]

Wait, are you people using a carabiner to clip stuff that needs clipping?

can someone tell me what to do with this bag please? And also this spare usb stick I have?

The bag is very useful for storing items, especially if they need to be portable. They're nearly as good as boxes.
The usb stick should fit nicely into a pear and chocolate loaf. It enlivens the otherwise dull and somewhat dense cake.

Hth. I will DM photos on 12th Never.