For the pasta, guest or something else?
Jack Monroe #601 Replican't
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Yay! My favourite!Courtesy of @Marmalade Atkins voila! The Christmas Chainsaw of Monroe. Don’t forget to crank up the volume.
Enjoy!View attachment 3336732 (Slop warning)
Fucken scarlet for her. How can one person be so proudly and perpetuallyJack Monroe #558 I own a fridge! This is my cooker! Look at my rug! Look at my duvet!
Merryspacechristmas you lovely bleeps xxxxxtattle.lifecatatonic reprisedlyincompetent with such aplomb?
🪛
Both guest and any food she has come within 3miles ofFor the pasta, guest or something else?
Guy on Saturday Kitchen channelling guest by referring to the sauce he is mixing up as 'slurry', Matt having flashbacks.
You could almost see his brain going “It’ll thicken in the oven”
Wekl they do say it takes a while to get over trauma. I wonder how long it took for the smell of the horsespunk lasagne took to leave the set?
I assumed the set had to be incenerated and replaced with a new one after that debacle.
@MancBee is of an age where he remembers cheques so you can probably send one to his po box address.
Has Jack given up rerunning the classic lines for a bit? Must be tiring trying to remember them. I was in a school play once and remembering when to come in and what to say was a bit much for my brain that only works in the moment with what I'm currently thinking of. I can't imagine your whole life being spent remembering what character you're playing and what difficulties that character is having, and why it needs cashos. Alongside having to set up cooking and presenting studios in unsanitary environments like sheds and toilets.
It’s been over a week now. My money’s on her phone being taken off her cos there’s no way she’d have managed to stay quiet this long otherwise.@MancBee is of an age where he remembers cheques so you can probably send one to his po box address.
Has Jack given up rerunning the classic lines for a bit? Must be tiring trying to remember them. I was in a school play once and remembering when to come in and what to say was a bit much for my brain that only works in the moment with what I'm currently thinking of. I can't imagine your whole life being spent remembering what character you're playing and what difficulties that character is having, and why it needs cashos. Alongside having to set up cooking and presenting studios in unsanitary environments like sheds and toilets.
Maybe it's stuck on a "low to high" search of properties on rightmove within a 1 mile radius of SS3 8DA (Asda).
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I'm just watching last Saturday's Saturday kitchen (cos I was watching today's, but there was too much fish in it for me) - and it is like they designed it to be the anti-Jack. He's got Poppy Potatoes on - whenever I see her on it, it strikes me how relaxed he is around her, compared to those truly cringey days (weeks? months? seemed like it) with guest. She is what guest could have been - honestly just with some hard work and practice (it seemed too rude to say with some skill, charm and charisma . . .). Poppy started with just TikTok, but put proper work into it, and had put in the time to learn actual cooking techniques.
And Sir MOTF is doing Christmas dinner - it's like one of those spot the difference competitions!
And Sir MOTF is doing Christmas dinner - it's like one of those spot the difference competitions!
Of course, Jack spells them as "carabinas", so is actually referring to a type of beetle rather than "industrial survivalist camping gear".
(ss from Veronicaaa on thread 444)
(ss from That Forensic Man on thread 452)
That wizened elderly jaundiced chicken (not Jack) never fails to make me sad. It all looks so utterly grim and joyless.
Oh noes! Do you think this year she feared, spurned and/or renounced cancelled, reviled, and/or desolate Christmas again?
If so, hopefully there hasn’t been too much crying, sobbing or LITERAL collapsing to the floor, and definitely only a few scant disembodied shoutings.
But if there has been, let’s hope someone was on hand with
Two Bag for Lifes Bags for Life of food!
Especially if ‘the church’ was called Dave and Ev
because then it would be LIKE CHRISTMAS after all!!! Hurrah! 
because then it would be LIKE CHRISTMAS after all!!! Hurrah!
RADICALLY CHANGED HER LIFE! in a week!
again!
Whatever can you mean?
Probably Blue sky isn't going the way Jack expected so she is taking a few weeks off to reconfigure.
Doubtless she will be back sometime with something about poorly mentals or working 20 hours on a day on a spreadsheet, or having a glorious time with her closest bestest friends in the world, or hinting at another OH and too busy burgering Or something equally predictable.
BIB - Wouldn't surprise me if her kitchen is full of the buggers.Of course, Jack spells them as "carabinas", so is actually referring to a type of beetle rather than "industrial survivalist camping gear".
(ss from Veronicaaa on thread 444)
(ss from That Forensic Man on thread 452)
Do you know, I don’t think we talk enough about Jack’s friends who lived up a tree for several years. (ss courtesy of @Marmalade Atkins from in amongst The Great Eucalyptus Drama NO PRESS. WARNED. )
Did your ‘friends’ who lived up a tree have to be careful not to get soaked by Dame Washalot’s water and get out of the tree they lived up by sliding down Moonface’s slippery slip (then a squirrel in a jumper collected their cushions to send back up to Moonface on a rope), Jackmate?
The Blyton is strong in this one.
ETA: Trees are the best and so universal!
The Blyton is strong in this one.
ETA: Trees are the best and so universal!
She's always done everything or know someone who has, despite only leaving Southend once in her life (and being promptly returned).
I know you are joking, but my Christmas present from my in-laws (not in-laws I'm not married etc,etc) was a cheque. Whilst it was lovely for them to do so, it just means bothering to go to a bank as mine doesn't do the "take a picture and it's in your bank" service.@MancBee is of an age where he remembers cheques so you can probably send one to his po box address.
And yes I do remember cheque books, and postal orders, and sending a telegram. But I'm not like Jack, attention seeking by posting "Who remembers" crap. It's not an achievement to get old, it's just a luck.
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