Southend must be like Springfield in the Simpsons with endless one-off locations for individual stories, like treehouses people live in and brothels a poor desperate scamp was reduced to.
Jack Monroe #601 Replican't
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It's like guest's career arc. Well, the first part is at any rate. I somehow doubt she'll manage the second part.
Just like the time Jack demonstrated exactly how incompetent she is by chucking a massive bleeping tantrum to get the presenting gig on a cooking tv show she’d unfathomably decided she deserved (despite having zero aptitude for cooking, presenting, or even just being on TV/being a remotely pleasant human being), then went on national tv and promptly Slopalonged her own five year old slop concoction.
It was never great to begin with,
but by DKL it looks like it was sat congealing in that Guardian pan, wizening for five years one month then slopped ceremoniously onto some equally unappetizing rice (probably left over from some five year old Guardian risotto horror or other). She made this on national tv in a bleeping tv studio FFS! 
Just like the poor sad wizened nonagenarian Christmas chicken, it’s basically culinary Theoden.
)
Bloody Waitrose emailed me a mince pie toastie recipe - thankfully not written by the Slopgoblin. Well it has no author so you never know but I suspect she's too tattooed, sweary and single-mothery for their demographic.
www.waitrose.com
Mince Pie Toastie Recipe | Waitrose & Partners
Leftover mincemeat? Pile it onto brioche with tangy soft cheese and zesty orange for sweet toastie perfection.
Winter wonderland fancy dress garden parties spent ice skating around children’s frozen paddling pools dressed as
TWO YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY!!! Oi Oi!
Goodnight!
@Elsie Ben Felyn tho
Starts here:
Goodnight!
@Elsie Ben Felyn tho
Starts here:
Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied
Sorry lads, did not mean to be a massive mood hoover. Now I know how Jack Monroe must make people feel. She doesn’t go out after dark?! Wasn’t she recently twatting about hiding Vienetta in asda late at night? And where did she buy the nightmeat? The Arctic Circle when it never gets dark? Also...
tattle.life
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You paint such a clear picture! Could you be more vague next time, please? Some of us are snacking.
Caribbean-er or Car-Ribena...?
No way! Not the cheering and clapping.I'm a bit drunk and now totally done. What a waste of £1.98 on the two books - I could've bought a roll and a bag of crisps
View attachment 3336839
This must be like one of those ''dancing manias'' of the Middle Ages.
Sorry, Waitrose, but I just can't imagine that being enjoyableBloody Waitrose emailed me a mince pie toastie recipe - thankfully not written by the Slopgoblin. Well it has no author so you never know but I suspect she's too tattooed, sweary and single-mothery for their demographic.
Mince Pie Toastie Recipe | Waitrose & Partners
Leftover mincemeat? Pile it onto brioche with tangy soft cheese and zesty orange for sweet toastie perfection.
View attachment 3337303
Speaking of anniversaries, on 1st January 2025 the Jack Monroe tattle threads turn five years old*. Five years, 601 threads and a comprehensive Wikipedia.
And all because she lied about an affiliate link.
Hope you made some money of that sleep mask you loved and just wanted to share, Jack! #AllWorthIt
Back to where it all began on New Year’s Day 2020
*Can we please please please have hats? Or failing that, Jack can you sort us a generic supermarket fake Colin the Caterpillar cake off yer Ma?
And all because she lied about an affiliate link.
Hope you made some money of that sleep mask you loved and just wanted to share, Jack! #AllWorthIt
Back to where it all began on New Year’s Day 2020
Jack Monroe (bootstrapcook)
Not only is she saying how fab Mrs hinch is but she's posting affiliate links without ad then has the audacity to claim she's not making money out of it and just wanted to share. She's fame hungry and much of her backstory is invented to target a demographic and make out she's some kind of hero...
tattle.life
*Can we please please please have hats? Or failing that, Jack can you sort us a generic supermarket fake Colin the Caterpillar cake off yer Ma?
Probably a delivery delay for the iPhone 16 Pro Max.
Bargain at £1,599 - a mere 1% of her cash stash.
OMG you’ve
me I LOVED that book as a child. Wasn’t there these activists that lived in a tree briefly so it wasn’t cut down? Of so, of course Jack was brazzie mates with them.
I can confirm we did have a period of time where people squatted on land and hung about in trees:
Camp Bling - Wikipedia
en.m.wikipedia.org
It later transpired there was indeed an extremely important Anglo-Saxon burial in the ground. Sir Tony Robinson turned up and everything.
Things that are not true - Jack having friends or any awareness of local activism. I'm the same age as Jack (depending on if you're a 1988 or 1978 truther) and not one of my friends has heard of her. Her paultry following on BS is literally all she has, and that £157k won't last forever.
Tick tock.
I know this has been mithered (pronunciation: mithered) on before but what in the ever loving duck is this tip?Of course, Jack spells them as "carabinas", so is actually referring to a type of beetle rather than "industrial survivalist camping gear".
(ss from Veronicaaa on thread 444)
(ss from That Forensic Man on thread 452)
If you don't have a colander you can use the lid of a pan to strain pasta/rice/veg, or a slotted spoon or just a large spoon, or a plate or bowl held against the side of the pan, or you can hold it against the edge of a (clean) sink, all better, easier and cheaper than this bleeping nonsense.
I truly, truly dislike her for having the arrogance to present this bull as if it's useful to her inferiors. She's a bleeping idiot.
How can i have been a ninny for five years. I joined around lockdown. I remember so much drama in real time.
When jack says she deeo cleans her kitchen 500 times a day does she call wiping the benches. Cooker and appliances after washing up, prior to cooking deep cleaning, if so oh dear...., no wonder that kitchen looks like Jeffrey Dahmers kitchen.
When jack says she deeo cleans her kitchen 500 times a day does she call wiping the benches. Cooker and appliances after washing up, prior to cooking deep cleaning, if so oh dear...., no wonder that kitchen looks like Jeffrey Dahmers kitchen.
I think it displays her complete lack of understanding of poverty. As if the poors are all plucky hobos who carry their belongings in a spotted hanky on a stick with all sorts of gizmos and widgets. Like a boy scout.
Many moons ago I worked for an org who supported young people at risk of homelessness or in foyer/temp type accomodation. Many of them had mild learning disabilities and had often had parents who hadn't taught them even the most basic life skills. We had a lovely volunteer who did cooking sessions with them and some of them did default to using a lid for draining stuff as they didn't have a colander etc. in their accomodation.
A much better tip would be, as you say a plate or a lid etc and to say that they can be found reasonably cheaply in supermarkets (lots of people do think kitchen equipment is spendy) or to ask at your local food bank as they often have a stash of kitchen basics.
It's that sort of thing that shows her ignorance (and arrogance) to the world.
What a catalogue of tedious banality.. She can't even make her lies interesting. (I'm not going anywhere near "believable" - Baron Munchausen had more credibility.)Winter wonderland fancy dress garden parties spent ice skating around children’s frozen paddling pools dressed asClegg out of Last of the Summer Winea Peaky Blinder with a big orange ice lolly and some (consensual, surprising) boobs, before falling softly, gently and forensically into a tangle of raucous laughter and deliciously broken limbs with all 344,344 of her nearest and dearest closest friends.
TWO YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY!!! Oi Oi!View attachment 3337295
View attachment 3337320
Goodnight!
@Elsie Ben Felyn tho
View attachment 3337302
Starts here:
Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied
Sorry lads, did not mean to be a massive mood hoover. Now I know how Jack Monroe must make people feel. She doesn’t go out after dark?! Wasn’t she recently twatting about hiding Vienetta in asda late at night? And where did she buy the nightmeat? The Arctic Circle when it never gets dark? Also...tattle.life
I was going to say, I thought it was more a Swampy reference than an Enid Blyton one.
Just replying to myself
to say just watched the rest, and Emily Sandé is on there too - original named companion of "guest" - surely this can't be a coincidence; looks like Sir MotF is playing a long game . . .
The carabiner tip appears to have disappeared from Grifty Kitchen, unless I’m looking in the wrong place.
Just wondering how many people who can't afford kitchen roll will be buying newspapers?
Could just clear the buses out of copies of the Metro, I suppose . . .
I see the smashing glass in your freezer tip is still there tho. Idiot
I suspect that her publishers told her the book was on the thin side so she needed a lot more tips to pad it out. Most of her suggestions read like they were written by someone knee-deep in
I suspect that her publishers told her the book was on the thin side so she needed a lot more tips to pad it out. Most of her suggestions read like they were written by someone knee-deep in
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