Jack Monroe #575 The only poverty she's interested in alleviating is her own

[Lobster Johnson]

Here’s the full IT’S ALL ABOUT (WOE IS) ME context of those tweets for those who haven’t seen. Bonus points for former sex worker recovering alcoholic and IT’S ALL TATTLE’S FAULT (But I SHAN’T name them
)

Spoiler: Spoiler for screenies

View attachment 2964953View attachment 2964954View attachment 2964956View attachment 2964957here’s the link to the original from @xoxo

Jack Monroe #107 The writing’s on the wallpaper

Get a grip:rolleyes:

tattle.life

ADHD and Autism aren't a get out, Jack. You don't get to not show up to anything and be crap because your brain works differently to other people's. You're supposed to take responsibility for your shit and find a way to cope. It's not a maverick super power.

 

[drusy]

That helps me sleep better at night. When my memory banks decide to rerun an old cringe thaf I'd rather not think about, I just think of guest and instantly relax. Whatever I did is if no significance compared to Boulevard.

Her thanking Mrs Matt for letting her 'borrow' her husband usually works for me. Or her referring to herself and Matt as a "cheeky lil duo".

 

[Geetbo]

We all say we’re glad when she shuts the fuck up, but then we end up talking about eating packing peanuts.

I have to say I’m amazed she hasn’t popped up with some sub zero political analysis. The mocking during the local elections must have stung.

 

[nothanksbabes]

I'm waiting for 27,546 Patreon postcards and FEATU

 

[nothanksbabes]

I live in one of the more stabby areas of London and it's never occurred to me to get a stab vest because I'm not the demographic that's a target. The fact that she thinks she needs a stab vest for fucking Glastonbury will never not be funny to me.

She's such a cunt she probably needs a stab vest to get through Christmas dinner unscathed.

 

[rage naan]

You think she’d be used to that by now, given the number of places she’s worked/companies she’s worked for over the past decade that LEFT. Very few of them ever work with her twice, do they?

And FFS “at times that were mutually convenient for the business and my childcare needs”. Tho sounds like their decision to get rid of you after less than 24 hours in your delightful company was one they conveniently managed to reach all by themselves. View attachment 2964917View attachment 2964918View attachment 2964919
Yes, Jack. It’s a total mystery. Linky link

A Whistlestop Tour Of How To F**k Up Everything

I’m reluctant to use the term ‘living in the public eye’ because I’m not about to seal any deals with Hello magazine just yet, but when your blog gets in excess of 16,000 hits and strangers come up...

web.archive.org

this is gold.

I love the air of the prepared interview answer you learn when you're 16. "They'll ask you what your greatest flaw is. Try to find something that could also be seen as a good thing, and be all self deprecating about it but also say you're willing to let this job exploit you for it. For example, say, 'people tell me I work too hard and am willing to do to much overtime for free!' or 'i care too much about making everyone love my employer!'".

guest took this on board 1000%, as she should for it is a classic narc tactic.

"Oh no! was I... too helpful? Too sorry? Too kind and sweet? Too friendly? Too rational and clever? Was I.... too keen to be extra extra good at my job?" with a wobbly lip and princess Di eyes. "Please tell me I wasn't... far too good for that place, and that they didn't make a huge mistake letting me go. I'm far too modest to hear that"

Also lol wtf is "A sexually misogynistic comment" ???

ETA lol snap @Valiofthedolls

 

[BlendedSlop]

I find this deeply upsetting. I think I'm going to have a lie down.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Well done, you’ve found some old books.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so desperate to make themselves look clever and simultaneously make themselves look as thick as the proverbial two short planks by trying to look clever before. She really is Dunning-Kruger in action.
---
Today’s wordle .

 

[FrumpyCat]

Oh no, not Politics (that she HATES) Jack

View attachment 2970383

Back to save us all, and she will NOT APOLOGIZE for returning to her roots!

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GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN, JACK MONROE! (Not really, don’t do that either. Just shut up, fuck off and go away)View attachment 2970387

Im unfollowing you, get back in the kitchen, why are you interested in local politics?

Last night, I attended the final Full Council meeting in Southend before the elections being held on the 5th of May. I started writing this blog almost five years ago now, and it started as a local…

web.archive.org

ETA: Also, another lie. No, you absolutely did not.
View attachment 2970397
Writing insufferably pompous spluttering conniptions about dogs on beaches, iPads in the hospitals and PAINTING THE CIVIC to THE NEWSPAPER and your column you used to tell everyone about looking for cock, getting lovebites and to advertise your shit craft “foundation” does not make you “a local political reporter”, Jack. Nor does your local bylines is everywhere, By JACK MONROE.
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One of things I don't understand is that Jack couldn't get childcare to allow her to do her paid job, but could get childcare when she wanted to sit in the Southend Council Chambers pointlessly scribbling until 1am.

Also don't understand why Southend council are having regular late sittings until past midnight. My local councillors are out of the door two hours before last orders.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Who says all that stuff about... themself?

Wot a massive humblebragging bighead.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

That Cordon Bleu remark is so typically Jack. You’re either a privileged graduate of an exclusive french cookery school or you’re a poor little self taught pixie. No idea about all the post 16 and 18 catering courses and apprenticeships that most people who pursue a career in cookery do.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Wait, she used the Vidal Sassoon done-with-pinking- shears-and-a-blunt-machete-by-a-blind-person haircut as a profile picture?

Spoiler: She also used this as a profile picture, tendernaan.

Jack Monroe #543 All her pasta recipes scream ‘run to the bog’ more than ‘come to bed’

She has magical clothes that will fit both SB who is almost as tall as her, and OH who is 6ft.

tattle.life

She was loveboming the shit out of Harold in her double pleather, leather and makeup crispy haired stage tho. Poor bugger.

This post from @Wood Spite

Jack Monroe #439 Kettle looks amazing Jack! Looking forward to ditching you later today x

I bet she didn’t even bother to do that BBQ for dinner on June 17th that she text-promised “excitedly” and Harold was SO disappointed that’s why HE LEFT on 19th. I deliberately block out of my mind as many of Jack’s “gigglings and wrigglings” and “snugglings” and “snufflings” and “childlike...

tattle.life

 

[Lobster Johnson]

Sorry, are chest freezers being given away? Because I'd definitely redo the bedroom if they're also going to pay for the electricity needed to power it. Or am I meant to rob people to get them?

Are you at all familiar with Patreon?

 

[BlendedSlop]

Her singular talent is making all food look (and sound) absolutely foul. She's like a chef from a Roald Dahl book brought to life.

 

[Florid Language]

No earrings and no expensive watch.
You can recognise the dish that she's prepared straight away.
It's brown, no texture and it's feckin' mushrooms.....again.

 

[matchakitkat]

Not to but I’m travelling on my hols, and realised the train goes to DORDRECHT ‍

we’re going straight to the source!

 

[rage naan]

View attachment 2973781
Her knife skills have actually deteriorated, if that’s even possible. And this is peak guest

Not convinced by the latest Charlie's Angels reboot

 

[BlendedSlop]

Jack looks somewhat different here to the other pictures from 2013 I've seen...

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Why does she need to constantly lie about the most mundane details though? Getting the books on the cheap would've been enough but no, extra details no one asked for and she's spreading it everywhere.

Yes, I realise it's small potatoes, given all the other lies but it's properly baffling.

She's the povviest pov that ever povved and so everything has to fit that public image, even if it means telling ridiculous lies.

She couldn't have just got some cheap books, other people had to find part of the money because she's too poor, but has lovely friends.

Her house has to be the draughtiest, her cold goes right to her (crumbly) bones, her budget is the tightest, her sobriety is the most precarious, her health is the most affected by poverty, her prose is the floweriest, etc. Nothing is ever a mild inconvenience, it's a howling clawing wailing disaster.

 

[YerDa]

Oh squig