Jack Monroe #573 Close your Patreon, you thieving liar

[Foxvint]

So now we’ve got randy old RAF Olive regaling Jack with her tales of knee tremblers in shop doorways with good corn fed Kansas GIs, old Gladys the Society Magazine fan who instilled in young Jack a love for the Queen Mother, Tara P-T and along with then-nine year old Jack was ABSOLUTELY INCONSOLABLE at the death of Diana, and Dusty Old Saucy Aunt Helen with her pile of More magazine position of the fortnights down the back of the cistern. View attachment 2930225

Spoiler: Oh Jack, scarlet for you hun.

View attachment 2930234

It’s like the world’s shittest Camberwick Green/Trumpton reboot from the feverish mind of an attention seeking moron whose wildest fantasies all entail imaginary childhood hangings-out with saucy and wacky pensioners.
View attachment 2930235
Oh look! It’s that old millionaire slumlord with his cheroots, boiler suit and one pair of shoes in this week’s episode!

Get to duck you (imaginary) old lady porch-bothering fantasist View attachment 2930239View attachment 2930240

When I first started on these threads I didn't get how some posters could be so invested in unmasking her bollocks scooby doo style and now I'm about to check census records for an elderly woman called Olive living in her street circa 1990-1995. Life comes at you fast.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I have a porch. It has umbrellas, dog leads and coats and boots in it. It’s south facing but no one has ever sat in there chatting about anything.

She’s now trying to make out that her son not only went to the cinema with her yesterday but also stayed the night and is going to be thrilled to see all the photos other people have taken of the aurora from Friday night

Giving me very much these vibes.

Spoiler: Caution

Thanks to @Valiofthedolls for the screenie

 

[EllaEm87]

I have a porch. It has umbrellas, dog leads and coats and boots in it. It’s south facing but no one has ever sat in there chatting about anything.

She’s now trying to make out that her son not only went to the cinema with her yesterday but also stayed the night and is going to be thrilled to see all the photos other people have taken of the aurora from Friday nightView attachment 2930414

Giving me very much these vibes.

Spoiler: Caution

View attachment 2930415

Thanks to @Valiofthedolls for the screenie

As if her son doesn’t have a smart phone/ laptop and couldn’t just google images of the northern lights himself.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

When I was 14, the very last thing I wanted to do with my parents was look through a bunch of photos.

My entire being was focused on hanging out in the park with my pals

 

[Ablemabel]

I have a porch. It has umbrellas, dog leads and coats and boots in it. It’s south facing but no one has ever sat in there chatting about anything.

She’s now trying to make out that her son not only went to the cinema with her yesterday but also stayed the night and is going to be thrilled to see all the photos other people have taken of the aurora from Friday nightView attachment 2930414

Giving me very much these vibes.

Spoiler: Caution

View attachment 2930415

Thanks to @Valiofthedolls for the screenie

Urgh, that post reads as 'oh poor little us we can't afford to travel to see the actual northern lights because we don't have a penny between us. send cashos' to me.

Completely ignoring that they were seen from peoples gardens etc in the UK.

Anything for sympathy.

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

Exactly! My 15 yr old would have already seen all the aurora photos they could handle and would be tit bored of it all by the time I got involved

 

[Ablemabel]

When I was 14, the very last thing I wanted to do with my parents was look through a bunch of photos.

My entire being was focused on hanging out in the park with my pals

Exactly. My 13 and 15 year olds would make some kind of grunting noise at me if I asked them to sit through a load of other people's photos. (Or indeed my own)

 

[Grifty Mc]

As if her son doesn’t have a smart phone/ laptop and couldn’t just google images of the northern lights himself.

Or just bleeping walk outside! For a vape.

 

[StatusWoe]

But she's so problematic that there is always going to be a low welfare salmon to trip her up.

I like to imagine there's a literal salmon around every corner that she needs to step over. The fishos have finally achieved their revenge.

 

[Grifty Mc]

I didn’t see the northern lights both nights because I was bleeping too lazy. Maybe just admit we have that in common guest.

 

[FrumpyCat]

So now we’ve got randy old RAF Olive regaling Jack with her tales of knee tremblers in shop doorways with good corn fed Kansas GIs, old Gladys the Society Magazine fan who instilled in young Jack a love for the Queen Mother, Tara P-T and along with then-nine year old Jack was ABSOLUTELY INCONSOLABLE at the death of Diana, and Dusty Old Saucy Aunt Helen with her pile of More magazine position of the fortnights down the back of the cistern. View attachment 2930225

Spoiler: Oh Jack, scarlet for you hun.

View attachment 2930234

It’s like the world’s shittest Camberwick Green/Trumpton reboot from the feverish mind of an attention seeking moron whose wildest fantasies all entail imaginary childhood hangings-out with saucy and wacky pensioners.
View attachment 2930235
Oh look! It’s that old millionaire slumlord with his cheroots, boiler suit and one pair of shoes in this week’s episode!

Get to duck you (imaginary) old lady porch-bothering fantasist View attachment 2930239View attachment 2930240

Oh what a touching picture.

At a guess this quirky autistic Jack with the old before their time/little professor trait, plus some intergenerational bonding.

I f anyone CBA to track through archived electoral role records or land registry records it will become apparent if Olive was real.

Another stupid lie.

 

[BeardyBap]

Yeah. And she could have gone outside the bunglemansion and sat in the massive garden to watch it all. Maybe she has moved.

Worst possible viewing area, tenderMc. Between the giant eucalyptus and the looming silhouette of the upper storeys of the bungalow there’s nary an inch of night sky visible out there.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

She seems very proud of herself for achieving a minimal level of parenting by managing to keep her son alive and not losing him. Also, “thriving by all accounts” is a very weird way to describe your own child. It’s the way you’d talk about a child you know but don’t spend a significant amount of time with. You tend to know if your own child is thriving, not rely on others accounts. It’s almost as though he doesn’t live with her.

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

If the aurora borealis was on Friday night, why it’s she gave to wait until Sunday to show him other peoples photos? Was he not with her on Saturday afternoon (when she made the bleeping pointless request) or in the evening?

Oh wait, maybe I just answered my own question there

 

[Geetbo]

I can just imagine SB texting his dad “she’s showing me random photos of the sky and feeding me chickpeas, can you fetch me.”

 

[FrumpyCat]

Will Jack wake up non-binary (again) today. And possibly Swiss?

Only if someone has a explained the lyrics,

 

[Grifty Mc]

Worst possible viewing area, tenderMc. Between the giant eucalyptus and the looming silhouette of the upper storeys of the bungalow there’s nary an inch of night sky visible out there.

Maybe from the tennis courts!

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

My teenager hasn’t wanted to go to the cinema with me since he was about 13 I think. He goes with his friends.

 

[Veronicaaa]

My teenager hasn’t wanted to go to the cinema with me since he was about 13 I think. He goes with his friends.

I also don't understand going to the cinema on one of the hottest days of the year when you live by the seaside.

 

[Geetbo]

I also don't understand going to the cinema on one of the hottest days of the year when you live by the seaside.

I suppose from SB’s point of view if he goes to the cinema he doesn’t have to talk to her or eat any slop.