Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

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Where's that ridiculous picture of her with the sherbet dip dab? She's a shoe in for Mr P Pan
 
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I done a screen recording but sadly it’s too big to share.
On BBC Food, Jack has 46 published recipes. 24 of them are different flavoured flapjacks.
There’s:
• Yummy golden syrup flapjacks
• raspberry honey flapjacks
• easy honey flapjacks
• vegan flapjacks
• feel good flapjacks
• vegan flapjacks
• sticky plum flapjacks
• cheese and chive flapjacks
• chocolate orange flapjacks
• macadamia and blueberry flapjacks
• apricot, honey and pistachio flapjacks
• lemon drizzle flapjacks
• cranberry, pumpkin seed and caramel flapjacks
• healthier flapjacks
• cinnamon flapjacks
• coffee and walnut flapjacks
• healthy flapjacks (haven’t checked the difference between these and the healthier flapjacks)
• chocolate and caramel flapjacks
• chocolate orange and walnut flapjacks
• ginger flapjacks
• cherry and coconut flapjacks
• Rudolph’s carrot flapjacks
• fruity gluten free flapjacks
• chocolate flapjacks
Unruly Flapguests.
 
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Rhetorical question obv, but why are all her ridiculous blog boasts and pompous letters to THE NEWSPAPER such a blatant pissing contest with Saint Daddy Chocco (MBE)?

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Giving herself a claw for a hand is the bit I fear I will never understand.
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Probably better that you stay focused on the fearsome claw here 👇🏻, rather than zooming in on the demonic eye that will suck out your soul.
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(She posted both of these, both in showing off “look how AMAZING I AM” posts. They’re Monroriginals unadulterated in any way, shape or form by cacophonous marauding ninnies. ss @Marmalade Atkins)
 
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This haircut is still staggering. Anyone else would demand a refund and wear a hat for at least four weeks. Not proudly post a photo of it on the internet. Her ego/delusions are a sight to behold.
Maybe it’s a game they play at Tony & Guy in Southend?
“Here she comes, guys. No, Lindley, you’ve had your turn. It’s Gemma today, it was her name that was pulled out of the bowl. Right, Gem, your challenge is to…..ummmmm….ooh, I know. You’ve got to convince her that a tuppenny all-off over her whole head except for ‘hair curtains’ over her ears and a floppy fringe an inch wide, is the best thing ever! Go!”
 
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Probably better that you stay focused on the fearsome claw here 👇🏻, rather than zooming in on the demonic eye that will suck out your soul.
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(She posted both of these, both in showing off “look how AMAZING I AM” posts. They’re Monroriginals unadulterated in any way, shape or form by cacophonous marauding ninnies. ss @Marmalade Atkins)
Is she winking in the bottom photo or did her eye just casually fall out?
 
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This made me cackle out loud. While defrosting my cold feet with a hairdryer, in bed, at 2.30am. My neighbours must be delighted.
I heard an amazing tip that might help you out here. You could put oven trays in the oven to get them nice and hot and then put them in your bed…
 
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This haircut is still staggering. Anyone else would demand a refund and wear a hat for at least four weeks. Not proudly post a photo of it on the internet. Her ego/delusions are a sight to behold.
This is what really confuses me. I’ve seen people on here say she’s “attractive” but she just….isn’t????? I was reasonably “ok” looking when I was younger (I’m not now because, age, chronic illness) and I simply can’t even fathom thinking SO MUCH of myself. Does she have some form of magic mirror? It’s a-clentchingly embarrassing enough when GOOD LOOKING people are so narcily obsessed with themselves, let alone when someone who does it has more gum than Wrigleys and the fashion sense of a toddler that’s been allowed to dress themselves alone for the first time in the vain hope they will shut up and get out of the door in time for school.

She should be studied, her brain is NOT normal.
 
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This is what really confuses me. I’ve seen people on here say she’s “attractive” but she just….isn’t????? I was reasonably “ok” looking when I was younger (I’m not now because, age, chronic illness) and I simply can’t even fathom thinking SO MUCH of myself. Does she have some form of magic mirror? It’s a-clentchingly embarrassing enough when GOOD LOOKING people are so narcily obsessed with themselves, let alone when someone who does it has more gum than Wrigleys and the fashion sense of a toddler that’s been allowed to dress themselves alone for the first time in the vain hope they will shut up and get out of the door in time for school.

She should be studied, her brain is NOT normal.
Absolutely this ☝ I don’t understand the attraction either. She’s at best average. And whenever she looks even passingly presentable, the manic look in her eyes👇 is enough of a red flag 🚩

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Is she winking in the bottom photo or did her eye just casually fall out?
It feels greedy to nominate another thread title but I think I just gave myself a permanent internal injury laughing at this.
 
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Red wine and strong black tea are interchangeable? Is this something she learned at one of the dozen AA meetings she attends every week?
In the slopalong I did her mushroom bourginon that swapped wine for tea. I really couldn't taste anything at all. More disturbing was emptying the mushrooms in without frying them first so they tasted kind of gritty.
 
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