Jack Monroe #549 Two different one's in three's

[StewPots]

HB, @StewPots! You turned fifteen the day my Old Harold and I got hitched (He still hasn’t LEFT, Jack, it’s quite nice, you should try it. It does take not being an hole, though, and good cooking helps too. Soz x)

Awww happy Anniversary! Hope you have a lovely day / evening.
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Ooh, Grifty Kitchen is on an Amazon lightning deal. 2% have been claimed so far by people who probably think it would be a marvellous Christmas present.

A wonderful gift, especially if you want a dose of E. Coli and to eat things that resemble a toilet bowl after a particularly nasty curry.

Happy Christmas everyone!

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Ooh, Grifty Kitchen is on an Amazon lightning deal. 2% have been claimed so far by people who probably think it would be a marvellous Christmas present.

2%?

That'll barely buy a bottle of Febreze for little Tiny Tim Crochit. It's gonna be a crusty Christmas.
Ho ho no.

 

[Hollaaa]

Ooh, Grifty Kitchen is on an Amazon lightning deal. 2% have been claimed so far by people who probably think it would be a marvellous Christmas present.

I'm such a cynic about 'offers' now, but do publishers have to pay for that kind of promotion? Or is Amazon trying to shift old stock?

 

[StewPots]

I'm such a cynic about 'offers' now, but do publishers have to pay for that kind of promotion? Or is Amazon trying to shift old stock?

The only place Grifty Kitchen should be is in an active volcano.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

If someone gave me Grifty K for Christmas, I would be questioning our relationship

 

[Darvos]

2%?

That'll barely buy a bottle of Febreze for little Tiny Tim Crochit. It's gonna be a crusty Christmas.
Ho ho no.

LJC, please everybody buy it, or next year I see a vacant 12-seater dining table in the poor chimney corner of the bungamansion, and a ryvita crotch without an owner carefully preserved, next to the radishes. (Crossing grifter pov threads with niche Dickens.)

 

[Livia Fantasy]

The only place Grifty Kitchen should be is in an active volcano.

Pretty harsh on cuddly lovely mister Sauron, what’s he ever done to you?

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

When I worked as a HCA, so many patients and residents were fascinated by my tattoos on my arms ( the rest aren’t visible but they would ask about them and I would describe what they were etc )

A few residents when I was a senior in a nursing home loved to trace my tattoos ( especially the star I have in my wrist ) and found it soothing. I must have looked after 100s of elderly people in the 10 years of my career and not one single person ever said a bad word about my tattoos.

Jack - as usual - is full of absolute tit.

Aww that's lovely! My youngest is a carer too and has a lot of tattoos. We got matching ones a few months ago, and she told me how chuffed she was when one of her favourite clients complimented her on it and said what a lovely idea it was. The thing is, older people nowadays aren't actually that old, in terms of attitude or outlook are they - people who are in their late 70's now lived through the 60s and 70s ffs! Jack's "tattoo shamers" sound like they come from a very specific and vanishingly small demographic of middle class curtain-twitcher types - I'm convinced she lives in a second rate sitcom made by Thames Television circa 1976.

 

[StewPots]

Pretty harsh on cuddly lovely mister Sauron, what’s he ever done to you?

Yeah fair point.

Sauron might be a bleep, but even he doesn’t deserve copies of Grifty Kitchen thrown at him I guess.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Yeah fair point.

Sauron might be a bleep, but even he doesn’t deserve copies of Grifty Kitchen thrown at him I guess.

Does this make guest Dildo Beggins?

 

[StewPots]

Does this make guest Dildo Beggins?

bleeping DEAD

 

[nothanksbabes]

Thread title
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Lads!

I’m 40 today but having a crap day so far. On bed rest, didn’t sleep well thanks to pain, and my family put in zero effort for my birthday so I’m a bit down. I go all out for theirs so it stings

So I’m glad I have tattle to make me laugh, and wonderful Fraus and Herrs here, and friends on other threads. Let us take down the grifters, scroungers and scammers together and have a massive laugh along the way!

Happy birthday

 

[StewPots]

Happy birthday

Thank you @nothanksbabes

Eldest is back so we are sat on my bed watching Disney films.

 

[HotesTilaire]

If someone gave me Grifty K for Christmas, I would be questioning our relationship

Get it for that ex-friend who goes through a list of who to borrow money off!

 

[blueorchid]

When I worked as a HCA, so many patients and residents were fascinated by my tattoos on my arms ( the rest aren’t visible but they would ask about them and I would describe what they were etc )

A few residents when I was a senior in a nursing home loved to trace my tattoos ( especially the star I have in my wrist ) and found it soothing. I must have looked after 100s of elderly people in the 10 years of my career and not one single person ever said a bad word about my tattoos.

Jack - as usual - is full of absolute tit.

Last line for next thread title
Forever and ever

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Was just looking for some nice anniversary slops and noticed this. LJC why does she lie about everything?

Spoiler: SPOILER ALERT!

You can, and you know you can because you already have, you daft twit.

FFS! 2013

2018

Also 2013: Chuck them in the toaster!

2018: I’ve never tried chucking them in the toaster, so definitely don’t do that!

bleeping charlatan

Also, why was it acceptable to say POP TARTS in 2013,

But by 2018 it had become a swear?

STUPID bleep (2013 style). Stupid C*nt (2018 style)

 

[houseofhoop]

Was just looking for some nice anniversary slops and noticed this. LJC why does she lie about everything?

View attachment 2557051

Spoiler: SPOILER ALERT!

You can, and you know you can because you already have, you daft twit.View attachment 2557055FFS! 2013
View attachment 25570572018
View attachment 2557058

Also 2013: Chuck them in the toaster!

View attachment 2557059

2018: I’ve never tried chucking them in the toaster, so definitely don’t do that!
View attachment 2557063
bleeping charlatan

Also, why was it acceptable to say POP TARTS in 2013,
View attachment 2557070
But by 2018 it had become a swear?
View attachment 2557071

STUPID bleep (2013 style). Stupid C*nt (2018 style)

I love forensic fraus

 

[griftalo]

Thread title
---
Lads!

I’m 40 today but having a crap day so far. On bed rest, didn’t sleep well thanks to pain, and my family put in zero effort for my birthday so I’m a bit down. I go all out for theirs so it stings

So I’m glad I have tattle to make me laugh, and wonderful Fraus and Herrs here, and friends on other threads. Let us take down the grifters, scroungers and scammers together and have a massive laugh along the way!

Happy birthday tenderstem

 

[ExDeveloper]

Was just looking for some nice anniversary slops and noticed this. LJC why does she lie about everything?

View attachment 2557051

Spoiler: SPOILER ALERT!

You can, and you know you can because you already have, you daft twit.View attachment 2557055FFS! 2013
View attachment 25570572018
View attachment 2557058

Also 2013: Chuck them in the toaster!

View attachment 2557059

2018: I’ve never tried chucking them in the toaster, so definitely don’t do that!
View attachment 2557063
bleeping charlatan

Also, why was it acceptable to say POP TARTS in 2013,
View attachment 2557070
But by 2018 it had become a swear?
View attachment 2557071

STUPID bleep (2013 style). Stupid C*nt (2018 style)

Jack Monroe must be the only person who can trip herself up lying about pop tarts.

Is there anything at all she can be honest and truthful about?

 

[griftalo]

Was just looking for some nice anniversary slops and noticed this. LJC why does she lie about everything?

View attachment 2557051

Spoiler: SPOILER ALERT!

You can, and you know you can because you already have, you daft twit.View attachment 2557055FFS! 2013
View attachment 25570572018
View attachment 2557058

Also 2013: Chuck them in the toaster!

View attachment 2557059

2018: I’ve never tried chucking them in the toaster, so definitely don’t do that!
View attachment 2557063
bleeping charlatan

Also, why was it acceptable to say POP TARTS in 2013,
View attachment 2557070
But by 2018 it had become a swear?
View attachment 2557071

STUPID bleep (2013 style). Stupid C*nt (2018 style)

She gives me the feeling I’m about to start shouting cuntcuntcuntcunt and I’m in the street right now so must calm down!! I’ll have stroke or get arrested otherwise