Is shite allowed?This isn’t a nom (cos of swearies and too-earliness) but I am
at how wonderful a thread title “The usual old tit and fictions” would be
Jack Monroe #540 Meet the new Jack, same as the old Jack.
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Guest as a trainee pharmacist has me howling!
The job requirements, including key skills being maintaining confidentiality are so far out of her reach it’s ridiculous.
The job requirements, including key skills being maintaining confidentiality are so far out of her reach it’s ridiculous.
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Oh the canal is on fire tonight! Had a bit of a crappy day (work in the food industry on a zero hours contract and we're having our hours cut due to poor sales, and had to finish early today...again) but I am now and so thank you for cheering me up!
Back to guset though - today I came to an agreement with a work friend who's struggling with childcare. I offered to sit with her kid and drop him off at pre-school on the days that she does mornings. Of course she's going to pay me, but I'm happy to accept well below the going rate, as she's a friend, and I know how hard it is to manage a job and childcare. (Also her kid is adorable, and on top of everything, friend is an amazing baker, so will provide me with free cakes.)
Anyway it got me thinking - it's usual for women to support each other in a workplace isn't it, and especially in a male-dominated one such as the fire service. She must have been so unpleasant and difficult that she didn't make any friends during her time there who might have been willing to help her out.
And yet, she's always claimed to have seemingly hundreds of "very good friends".
I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for her now. (Not that sorry though)
and so thank you for cheering me up!Back to guset though - today I came to an agreement with a work friend who's struggling with childcare. I offered to sit with her kid and drop him off at pre-school on the days that she does mornings. Of course she's going to pay me, but I'm happy to accept well below the going rate, as she's a friend, and I know how hard it is to manage a job and childcare. (Also her kid is adorable, and on top of everything, friend is an amazing baker, so will provide me with free cakes.)
Anyway it got me thinking - it's usual for women to support each other in a workplace isn't it, and especially in a male-dominated one such as the fire service. She must have been so unpleasant and difficult that she didn't make any friends during her time there who might have been willing to help her out.
And yet, she's always claimed to have seemingly hundreds of "very good friends".
I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for her now. (Not that sorry though)
I think mine has to be the rendition of the Wurzels I Am A Cider Drinker to the tune of Beethoven's Ode to Joy, done by Willie Rushton.
Now deep down a YouTube rabbit hole of One Song To The Tune Of Another, this one has Willie Ruston doing A Whiter Shade Of Pale/My Old Man's A Dustman:
I'd agree. The current post count is easy to remember.
My devious mind says she loaded something that was only visible to herself to use a certain filter (you know, portrait mode), took a screenshot then deleted.
Footloose! Screw loose! Hear her honk like a goose!
Hi everyone, please see below for September 2023's Patreon update! Behind a cut as always xo
As of September 2023 Jack Monroe had 360 paying Patreon subscribers. Jack has actively chosen to hide her revenue so we're not able to accurately report on this, but using Olia Hercules' average per subscriber revenue of £14.12 sans worst case scenario 12% platform fees, this means Jack Monroe took home £4.5k in revenue this month from just her Patreon page alone.
She was down 5% MoM - whilst this is excitingly her 12th consecutive month of losses, she is still up 50% on pre-Nigella's promotion. And she's still up from our 'when-records-began' subscriber count of 346 (apols earlier had said I think she's now in line with that, that'll be next month!). In terms of movements nothing out of the ordinary - gained 4 subscribers in month, lost 23, so netted out as down 19 subs month on month. Someone made a really interesting comment (sorry I can't remember ur @ but thank you bb) of what's the monetary value of those 19: it'd be an estimated £237 down the drain.
Finally before I drop the monster table: as you can tell by the first 12 rows of this table, it's a LONG slog to see any real impact upon her lifestyle/grift. From Feb 21 to Jan 22 (just before dumb dumb Nigella got involved) Jack went from 346 paying subscribers down to 244, that's -29.5% which sounds promising, but really when you look at the estimated revenue that's still from £4.3k to £3.0k, it's still a decent grift and a very nice passive income! This tit is gonna take years to go away unless/until Patreon de-platform her, and this monthly report is gonna get (even more?) seriously dull. Like the next vaguely exciting one will be the annual round up and then Feb 2023 in case we see another mega annual churn event. God help us.
She was down 5% MoM - whilst this is excitingly her 12th consecutive month of losses, she is still up 50% on pre-Nigella's promotion. And she's still up from our 'when-records-began' subscriber count of 346 (apols earlier had said I think she's now in line with that, that'll be next month!). In terms of movements nothing out of the ordinary - gained 4 subscribers in month, lost 23, so netted out as down 19 subs month on month. Someone made a really interesting comment (sorry I can't remember ur @ but thank you bb) of what's the monetary value of those 19: it'd be an estimated £237 down the drain.
Finally before I drop the monster table: as you can tell by the first 12 rows of this table, it's a LONG slog to see any real impact upon her lifestyle/grift. From Feb 21 to Jan 22 (just before dumb dumb Nigella got involved) Jack went from 346 paying subscribers down to 244, that's -29.5% which sounds promising, but really when you look at the estimated revenue that's still from £4.3k to £3.0k, it's still a decent grift and a very nice passive income! This tit is gonna take years to go away unless/until Patreon de-platform her, and this monthly report is gonna get (even more?) seriously dull. Like the next vaguely exciting one will be the annual round up and then Feb 2023 in case we see another mega annual churn event. God help us.
I had a thought yesterday. The big announcement is too late to be Strictly, but it could be Dancing on Ice. It's exactly her sort of reality TV because you can feign injuries and ouchies if you've had a bad week and there's plenty of opportunity for performative gender flip-flopping.
As I joined the canal at the peak of her grifting when she was pulling in 7000+ subs a month, the downward trajectory is very pleasing. She is like a slow leak in a tyre. It’s not fast but it’s not going to get any better.
thank you as ever @heretoreaditall2019
hope the mini heres are sleeping soundly
I actually just cannot believe that people are just happy to pay her just coz. I wish I had something that I could do to create a patreon because £4.5k a month would change my life.
Looking at that job list, her cv must look a copy of the bible has been dropped off. Its no wonder she cannot get a convetional job, who the hell would want to read that, for burger flipping at mcdonalds. Especially when they realise she was tit at everything.
Amazing as ever! Thank you.
Just did a quick phone Excel sheet, and at a loss rate of 4% we are still 6 years off zero Patreons with a linear loss. I agree it'll drop again next Feb with annual subs, and we should start to see more natural wastage as cards expire. My other quick calc suggested just under 4 years to zero (which I don't think will happen as people are stupid).
If the touted relaunch is true then I think it's because the passive income has dropped to the point Jack needs more monthly incomings. That number could be rent plus bills plus £20 shops, but likely closer to her real expenditure. I think she reckoned £3300 for the bunga (rent & bills) so the £4k average would seem to be the trigger for action. Assume she gets a bit for royalties and random appearances
Elmo lad, get ready for chaos.
Completely agree - also she’s meant to be paying some tax on this income (won’t hold my breath x) so knock at least 20% off for that and you’re getting scarily close to just covering those fixed overheads with the Patreon, and the economy is bad so those overheads will increase, and legit/very well paid work is dwindling which leaves her with a significantly less spenny lifestyle than the one she’s become accustom to. She is from generational wealth so maybe it’s not that big a problem for her tho
And thank you V
We're thinking way too big here.
It's more likely to be a new pencil case, or an attempt at a reinvention to morph into a new grift.
I thought exactly the same lol .Twihard forever !
Evening Ninnies!
Just popping in from a massive grunk ( I’m on 538 ) to say hello, that Jack is a bleep and to apologise for all my reactions to posts you all wrote days ago!
My son has been away for two weeks - home tomorrow and I can’t wait to see him and show him the new chess board I’ve got for us to play ( he’s 9
and managed to explain it in such a way that I now know how to actually play properly ). We were playing on a cheapy plastic one from The Range but I’ve bought us a ( still cheapy but nicer) wooden chess set. He’s had a brilliant summer holiday between myself, his dad and stepmum and his grandparents.
I wonder what SB has spent his summer doing? Apart from looking in charity shops for shirts. Poor lad…I really hope he ditches that prick and goes non contact with her eventually.
But even that won’t be easy for him - especially if she starts her usual s****** baiting. Wouldn’t surprise me if she’s said something to him in the past, so he would worry all the time and not want to leave her manipulative, narcissistic pathetic side. God I dislike her. Christ alive, what a bleep she is.
Anyway, I shall continue on my grunk - I’ve had two weeks of literally doing duck all ( although did manage some lush days out ). However! I do regret not spending more time on Tattle and instead decided to binge watch SO MANY SHOWS! Whoops….
Just popping in from a massive grunk ( I’m on 538 ) to say hello, that Jack is a bleep and to apologise for all my reactions to posts you all wrote days ago!
My son has been away for two weeks - home tomorrow and I can’t wait to see him and show him the new chess board I’ve got for us to play ( he’s 9
and managed to explain it in such a way that I now know how to actually play properly ). We were playing on a cheapy plastic one from The Range but I’ve bought us a ( still cheapy but nicer) wooden chess set. He’s had a brilliant summer holiday between myself, his dad and stepmum and his grandparents.I wonder what SB has spent his summer doing? Apart from looking in charity shops for shirts. Poor lad…I really hope he ditches that prick and goes non contact with her eventually.
But even that won’t be easy for him - especially if she starts her usual s****** baiting. Wouldn’t surprise me if she’s said something to him in the past, so he would worry all the time and not want to leave her manipulative, narcissistic pathetic side. God I dislike her. Christ alive, what a bleep she is.
Anyway, I shall continue on my grunk - I’ve had two weeks of literally doing duck all ( although did manage some lush days out ). However! I do regret not spending more time on Tattle and instead decided to binge watch SO MANY SHOWS! Whoops….
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