Jack Monroe #539 The devil works hard, but portrait mode works harder

[griftalo]

Amanda Palmer follows guest on Instagram. Narcs of a feather and all that.

Interesting! I hate them both

 

[Katkat]

Interesting! I hate them both

Babe, same x

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Speaking of “Band Jack”

Tangentially related, do you remember that particularly DIRE season of the X Factor where after Leona and Alexandra’s roaring successes they desperately wanted to find another solo singer?

You know the one, right? The one where judges’ houses were dreadful but then the live shows with the final 12 15 were the absolute “WTF is going on here?” low point.

Spoiler

I could completely understand why they decided to pair individual contestants together in the end to make a group like One Direction and Little Mix

Spoiler

I’m just not entirely sure that Microwave Metal Fires (in Berlin) was the right band to back for Christmas number 1.

Mind you, Frankie Coccozza’s sister is the understudy stand-in to the understudy narrator in Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcast (in Eastbourne and then touring) these days, so she’ll always be grateful for the Before and After glow-up

 

[HotesTilaire]

Thank goodness for that. I was going to ask you for lottery numbers but was worried we'd all end up playing and having to share the prize hundreds of ways in some weird giant cheque based meet up.

Oh please can we do that anyway, it sounds fun. Mainly so we can buy a house to not let Jack live in. She must fkin HATE omaze
---

Interesting! I hate them both

Assumed you meant Moomins and Bagpuss, until I read that quote tweet about Amanda Palmer.
Bagpuss is the best, I said what I said THE END

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Sorry to traumatise you. I still can’t see what you’re seeing though! I won’t ask for clarification and traumatise you further.

VERY Off topic

once you’ve seen this “with friends like this who needs enemies” viral photo (WARNED Most VULGAR)

Spoiler

you don’t forget it in a hurry even when you thought you had.

 

[CarmenGhia]

Don't encourage her with the X Factor talk.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Thank goodness for that. I was going to ask you for lottery numbers but was worried we'd all end up playing and having to share the prize hundreds of ways in some weird giant cheque based meet up.

 

[hoopdedoo]

I do too! Am I you?
(Mine is Willow Bough)

Acanthus over here, tender stem. IIRC the pattern of guest's WM curtains is, appropriately, Strawberry THIEF

 

[markcorriganscrisps]

Don't ruin Holy Bible era ( their best) Manics for me !

The Intense Humming of Slop

 

[Esiren]

This might have already been said but the waiting lists to get diagnosed are long and it’s a lot harder as a woman than as a man to get diagnosed.

He has always been honest about his autism though, which is a big difference with him and Jack.

Sure. I waited about 18 months for my main ASD diagnosis appt some years back. I'm not geographically that far from Jack.
Her diagnosis stories don't tally though. And as she's been claiming autism for years, she could certainly have got a new diagnostic appt in that time had she wanted to do so. Also, she's an articulate (ish) middle class woman under the NHS. She's not someone who would be unable to claim her right to assessment on the adult autism pathway had she felt it important to her.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Don't encourage her with the X Factor talk.

I'll have you know she actually auditioned one year and "got through to the judges" (not Judges' Houses as she so desperately wanted people to think).

If she isn't lying (just stay with me here), it means she was too mediocre/unmemorable a contestant to make it onto TV in one of the two relevant categories (actually talented singers, and completely delusional dickheads the producers just put through the initial stage for people to laugh at).

Really makes you think.

That particular bout of Twitter incontinence also gave us this absolute classic of the genre:

Just lol.

SS by @Silver Linings

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Don't encourage her with the X Factor talk.

She’s completed it, mate. So she claims, anyway. All videographic evidence of such has LEFT and vanished in the mists of time though

Spoiler: WARNED: Under the counter BLUE talk

Just like those grainy “Betamaxes” from back in the day.

All stupid joking aside, what a total cosseted and spoiled wannabe arse she is and always was though. Apart from the Hole (Courtney Love’s Band) Twitter screenshot above, all these ss are from the May 2007 profile @Sideboard Bob found

ETA I’m not sure I’ve quite got it into context in my own head before, but this is exactly what happened time-wise; can you even imagine back in 2007 working in an Essex Fire Service control room trying to do your actual bleeping call handling job when this exact version of St Daddy’s spoiled nepo twit waltzed in.

 

[I'm not actually here]

Sweet baby cheeses! Thankspaceyou for putting that behind a spoiler although no amount of spoiler could have prepped me for that. Jeez. She really is an utter fuckwit. How does the ole danceathon work with the walking stick? Is it brandished like a cane? Is she putting on her top hat? Also, not wishing to myself but I have a fair few Tatts and as far as I am aware they do not stop me dancing. And 'gone back to ballet'? Is she a professional now? I'm guessing she did 3 one hour sessions at the local village hall when she was about 6 and has whizzed off to buy a leotard, completed the look mate by making sure her boulder holder is on display and now thinks that her form is so good the Royal ballet will be on the blower begging her to join purely from this photograph and despite the tattoos?

Moron.

AI, please combine: concert pianist, ballet dancer, clown, fashion, career.

---

Speaking of “Band Jack”
View attachment 2413216View attachment 2413217
Tangentially related, do you remember that particularly DIRE season of the X Factor where after Leona and Alexandra’s roaring successes they desperately wanted to find another solo singer?

You know the one, right? The one where judges’ houses were dreadful but then the live shows with the final 12 15 were the absolute “WTF is going on here?” low point.

Spoiler

View attachment 2413241View attachment 2413220View attachment 2413224View attachment 2413225View attachment 2413243View attachment 2413222View attachment 2413223View attachment 2413228View attachment 2413230View attachment 2413231View attachment 2413232View attachment 2413233View attachment 2413235View attachment 2413236View attachment 2413237View attachment 2413238View attachment 2413240
I could completely understand why they decided to pair individual contestants together in the end to make a group like One Direction and Little Mix

Spoiler

I’m just not entirely sure that Microwave Metal Fires (in Berlin) was the right band to back for Christmas number 1. View attachment 2413247Mind you, Frankie Coccozza’s sister is the understudy stand-in to the understudy narrator in Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcast (in Eastbourne and then touring) these days, so she’ll always be grateful for the Before and After glow-up
View attachment 2413257View attachment 2413258

I wander round in barefeet all day on the land and my feet aren't that filthy.

 

[Esiren]

Pallbearer or war correspondent, dear heart.
s/s by @Silver Linings in 2020

View attachment 2412415

'high school' 'ed psych assessments'. She just can't stop with the fake Americanisms, can she?
---

I honestly believe that's one of the most cringeworthy photographs I have ever seen. My OH has always had motorbikes and as a big grown up lady person, I have never yet thought I might just hop on board for a quick photo op. My SB did because he was indeed small and that is what little ones like to do but then he got big and got his own bike.
I can't even imagine how cringe inducing it would be to have an adult ask if they can sit on your bike and have you take their photo so they can pretend to lots of people on the interweb that they were going to pop a lid and leathers on and go for a whizz around the block.

Moron.

I'll admit that I do have a few pics of me sitting on motorbikes, but the difference was that they were my bikes and I could actually ride them.
---

See also the benighted love child of Rose West and Darcey Bussell

Spoiler

View attachment 2412664She was with Leggy at the time. Can you imagine coming from a long hectic shift at work to find your fiancée had spent the entire bleeping day dressed and posing like this up against the garden wall in front of an iPhone on a timer in order to then post it to the internet and tell everyone she just wants to DANCE?

No wonder 2 and a bit months later she was on her way back to Southend.

Is this pose what gave her the ouchy shoulders?

 

[HotesTilaire]

'high school' 'ed psych assessments'. She just can't stop with the fake Americanisms, can she?
---

I'll admit that I do have a few pics of me sitting on motorbikes, but the difference was that they were my bikes and I could actually ride them.
---

Is this pose what gave her the ouchy shoulders?

To be fair, she did go to Westcliffe Girls High School. And Ed Psych is a common shorthand for Educational Psychologist. They help as part of a team for children with special educational needs. They don’t diagnose autism in secret to your parents, though.

 

[Captainmouse]

Regarding her clothess. I think she literally gets up and puts on the first thing that comes to hand. I dont think she has any intetest whether it fits, matches, clashes, flashes. It will do same goes for her shoes and makeup. She is the human equivalent of a jumble sale.

bib #thread title

 

[Hollaaa]

The Intense Humming of Slop

(Broccoli) Paster

 

[Atruck]

(Broccoli) Paster

I am a smol pixie. They call me a grifter.
Argh guest could go and attach every imagined victory and hardship to the words of this just like with celebrity skin by hole by Courtney love.

 

[Hollaaa]

Argh guest could go and attach every imagined victory and hardship to the words of this just like with celebrity skin by hole by Courtney love.

IfJackMonroetoldthetruthforonedayherworldwouldfallapart

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

What teenager in the presumably early 2000s belts out Celine Dion's Think Twice for their parents? Jesus Christ. She's so old. I'm ten years older than her and Celine Dion wasn't hot amongst teenagers even when I was a teenager and she was in her prime. It would have been like me belting out the hits of Mrs Mills for my parents.

Still, it becomes ever more apparent that she's been a fame hungry twit since forever. "Everyone said you should be a model", no they didn't, Jack. No one said that 5ft 2 Ann Diamond doppelganger Jack should be a model. Ffs.