Jack Monroe #539 The devil works hard, but portrait mode works harder

[kachoochoo]

Spoiler: more o/t chris packham

a million years ago, when i was about 8, we went on a school trip to see chris and terry nutkins doing a really wild show theatre tour. there was a section where they picked kids out of the audience for a quiz thing. i got picked and was on chris's team! we won and got some signed pictures and stickers and stuff

terry said something like, "you can put the pictures in the loo" and chris went, "well, not in the pan"

i think he can be spiky, but hes kinda ace and the camaraderie he has with megan is lovely.
especially considering how their 'cheeky lil duo' thing was just thrown together because she happened to be staying with him when lockdown hit and he had to do springwatch

 

[hoopdedoo]

Thank you tender stem @kachoochoo I just clicked who this Chris is everyone has been talking about. He and his daughter are on Celebrity Gogglebox, which this overseas frau has NOT seen on pirated clips on YouTube, nope, not me, move along nothing to see here.

 

[plentyofpepper]

Positive traits like it being a Superpower with which she can help THE POOR by slinging slop together, you mean? Something something superpower something something patriarchy something something I’m SOOOOO AMAZING at what I do everyone thinks so!

duck the Guardian for giving her a platform to spout tit like this for a bleeping decade.

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(FFS It’s “butch” Jack yet again too)

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Go, Greta. Autism is my superpower too | Jack Monroe

Like 16-year-old climate campaigner Greta Thunberg, I think differently. If only certain blinkered men could respect that…

www.theguardian.com

Spoiler: Mither

and we already know that this part is bollox that she’s just manipulated to fit her ridiculous weaponized nonsense about her “superpower autism just like Greta”

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Because this is her earlier (deleted of course) account of it. Different time, she’s 4 just starting school so not “at six”, it’s multiple governors instead of one, and they joked not “sneered”

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This is actually a hell of a read from middle aged Tory “socialist” Jack, aged 24.

I'm A Socialist... BUT I Support Southends Grammar Schools.

I have to profoundly disagree with Labour Councillor Julian Ware-Lane's allegations that grammar school places go to children who are 'coached' or other Essex children apparently undeserving of pla...

web.archive.org

Oh and: Autistic (so: Oddball School Loner) Jack View attachment 2411888
Poverty (so: Lead in School Play) Jack
View attachment 2411879Alcoholic (so: Parties with my Friends! Nightclubs!) Jack
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She will literally say absolutely anything, contradict the duck out of herself and jump on any and every bandwagon all to serve her own ends. That’s

Narcel Narcneau

That’s out, (as is holding a busker’s hat) because she has tantrums that people just going about their busy bleeping day aren’t paying her enough attention

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Busking with Billy Bragg – Jack Monroe's Do Something challenge

When the opportunity came along to busk with one of her musical and political heroes, Jack Monroe couldn't turn it down• Watch Billy and Jack busking in Camden• Billy Bragg's tips on busking

www.theguardian.com

Also, bleeping GRRRRRR
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BREAKING NEWS: white woman’s shock as she discovers other countries have culture

 

[thestormbeforethecalm]

Regarding her clothess. I think she literally gets up and puts on the first thing that comes to hand. I dont think she has any intetest whether it fits, matches, clashes, flashes. It will do same goes for her shoes and makeup. She is the human equivalent of a jumble sale.

This is actually how I dress, am I Jack? I used to be terrified that somebody would apply for me to be on "What not to wear" with Trinny and Susannah. I was delighted when it stopped being made .

 

[plentyofpepper]

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Looks like something you'd find on Hannibal Lecter's kitchen shelf

it’s clown bows!!!!!

 

[Captainmouse]

One of those human statue things you see insufferable twats people do in Leicester Square

 

[nothanksbabes]

I think she actually tries very, very hard with her clothes but has such a distorted self image and is so unwilling to take advice from anyone else that she misses the mark every time. She's definitely seeing something in the mirror we're not.

Same with her makeup. Enough interest to post endless photos of her toddler let loose on the No. 7 counter efforts, but not enough to blend her eyeshadow for five bleeping minutes or watch a tutorial on how to not look like you've applied it with your feet.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

There has been a lack of Summertime Jack content this year so here's some Jacks having a nice time on the beach x

 

[Kittypops]

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Oh duck me, this is perfect as a new
THE END.

Spoiler: Like so…

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Or
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View attachment 2412357Finally,
View attachment 2412358View attachment 2412359The possibilities are endless!!!

With a heavy heart as the frau who cooked the Peelings Loaf on the slopalong, I can only say, please, no.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

There has been a lack of Summertime Jack content this year so here's some Jacks having a nice time on the beach x

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I held it together until I saw wizened boiler suit.

 

[Ablemabel]

She can pretend to be hard all she likes, but we've all seen the fecking Cath Kidston backpack.

 

[nothanksbabes]

She can pretend to be hard all she likes, but we've all seen the fecking Cath Kidston backpack.

Proper enfant terrible with her Cath Kidston bag, Cotswold Co sideboards and fondness for William Morris.

(Full disclosure: I love a Morris print but it's more middle class mum than owt else init)

 

[YerDa]

I held it together until I saw wizened boiler suit.

It was the casual back arch on the sun bed for me

 

[LizzieE.]

Her gums are grey lads?
Not just a it dingey...lilac grey and corpse like!
Sometimes she looks all bouncy and full of healthy energy a d others when she is barely there, all hollowed out eyes and drained skin.
A life in the scorching eye of media attention (self inflicted) does not suit her and has probably done no end of damage, not just physically but a fucked reputation is a heavy burden at 35.
Can someone be permanently immature though? No autism, no PD, no anxiety and so on, just an unwillingness to grow up. To forgo the comfy certainty of "it's everyone else's fault" and step into "perhaps I was just a little bit wrong" for a look at life from a different angle?
Not likely at this late stage though is it...oh silly Guset

 

[Mrs Peel]

I don't think she's autistic. In fact, I don't think she's anything she claims to be. It's all bullshit.

Guest is everything that she DOESN'T claim to be.

 

[griftalo]

Never seen this guy at the back before! Apparently they call him Spanner, because he’ll fix stuff for you, but he’s really creepy, always hanging around watching people from a distance. They say his mum lives with him but no one’s seen Janice for years. Makes you think.

 

[hoopdedoo]

It was the casual back arch on the sun bed for me

If her legs were that long in real life, she would be a towering-over-everyone-else smol pixie
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(Full disclosure: I love a Morris print but it's more middle class mum than owt else init)

I have a William Morris cover on my laptop. Am I guest? No, I am not, because I bought it with money that I earned at my non-imaginary job.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

"Where's my top hat?" said the Fat Controller.
"duck you" replied Thomas. "You're not getting it back until you send me my Patreon rewards".

This has ended me
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Or for Bond fan Guset.

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Daily Mail, 30th August 2023:

“Jacqueline Petit-Cochon, wife of Harold Petit-Cochon, Minister for Spoons, pictured out and about in Westminster today as news broke that her husband was being investigated for irregularities in his taxes. When approached by reporters and asked for comment she said ‘do you want me to stop breathing?’before getting into a waiting car.

Mr Petit-Cochon is currently away on ministerial business in Dordrecht. His office has been contacted for right of reply and his spokesperson said ‘what happens in Dordrecht stays in Dordrecht’.

Mrs Petit-Cochon is believed to be staying with friends, among them a Nigerian, a Somalian and an Italian. One commented ‘she’s been wailing like a banshee all night, and is being softly, gently put back together by good friends and 17 twelve step meetings a day, with green fruit pastilles’ she is herself a former business woman, running her now failed bespoke craft emporium ‘Bread and Jam’, which racked up debts of £2.59 in 2013 and was wound down by KPMG the same year.

Please write a book. It can be funded by a kickstarter.

 

[Pavlova4]

I quite like Jack Monroe's books. I was thinking I bet a certain woman who Jack sued, who made up lies that Jack damaged a statue comes on here to be nasty about her.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

First thing I thought of when I saw it!
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Even with sensory issues, you don’t have to dress like a massive twit! It’s really that she just has no style at all. She wants to be Viv but she’s really the bargain rail still hanging around, forgotten in a derelict C&A in some small town somewhere.

Sensory issues wouldn’t explain the horrible choices she makes at all anyway. Sensory issues don’t always mean a set wardrobe of one type of joggers and one kind of t shirt either, you can have sensory issues and still wear a variety of different but also nice looking clothes. It might take more work and time but it can be done.

I don't think sensory issues explain her clothing choices either. She goes from butter soft tight leather leggings to silky Viv dresses to coarse denim and there is never a mention of modifications or autism friendly clothing labels. She never ever tries to raise awareness or support charities relationing to the conditions she claims to have.