Jack Monroe #520 Jack is very clever, she knows how to turn £10 into £425

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

Thread title courtesy of a squig and nominated by glubby.

Recap: Binfire. Jack says she has had to leave the bungamansion for her safety, but she’s cooking slop and dying her hair. She’s locked down her Twitter again. The lights might be on or they might be off. Nobody knows.

Wiki is the pink button up there.

 

[BubbleDuck]

Poor Elmo

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Lights seemingly ON, she's posted about dyeing her hair and is basking in compliments from the rage nans and neckbeards. BUT FOR HOW MUCH LONGER

 

[lythamstannes]

While we're talking about #nofilterJack...

This is a particular fave - 'no filter, no tweaking...'

And no earlobe, apparently

 

[CarmenGhia]

Stunt chin out in force. Lots of blurring and smoothing of the actual jawline. And in making her eyes bigger, she's inadvertantly maximised her forehead.

 

[Lazarus]

While we're talking about #nofilterJack...

View attachment 2252501
This is a particular fave - 'no filter, no tweaking...'

And no earlobe, apparently

No tweaking:

Tripod camera just *taps the sign* removed her eyelashes and softened this bit all by itself.

 

[nothanksbabes]

While we're talking about #nofilterJack...

View attachment 2252501
This is a particular fave - 'no filter, no tweaking...'

And no earlobe, apparently

Imagine filtering the living tit out of your photos (to be fair, my phone camera does it for me, it needs to calm the duck down, I don't need my face to look like one pixel) but not sorting out those eyebrows.

 

[Nurseali]

Jack is still not saying where the Sue Lee money went. It's almost like she has something to hide, or is lying .
In other news she has moved out and lives with friends and she managed to take hair dye so all is good.
She may have had a contraceptive implant fitted/removed Or just stuck a random plaster on her arm for sympathy .

 

[MancBee]

While we're talking about #nofilterJack...

View attachment 2252501
This is a particular fave - 'no filter, no tweaking...'

And no earlobe, apparently

The eyeballs are always a giveaway. The whites are blindingly white and the pupils have straight edges making it look like she has square pupils.

 

[WoolyMammoth]

While we're talking about #nofilterJack...

View attachment 2252501
This is a particular fave - 'no filter, no tweaking...'

And no earlobe, apparently

You’ve moved this now so my comment on the last thread makes 0 sense. Not that anything I say ever does. So I'll do it again for those at the back...and those who didn't enjoy it last time, can not enjoy it all over again.

Frommm Paris to Berlin, this woman's grifting is a sin...

 

[lilykestrel]

Recap:

After the binfire of the end of last week, Jack popped up and blithely said she's been a cooking. A whole roast chicken just for picking at (seasoning combo unknown), mackerel pesto pâté (can oil included) and (as identified by forensic Fraus cracking out the CSI skills and reading the pen marks through cheapy diary paper) "swamp beans", which appear to be black beans boiled in water with spinach, stock and black pepper.

Jack reappeared this evening with a fancy new do, created last week with of two boxes of dye she found under the stairs of the house she hasn't been in for some time on the advice of the Police. Her skin is grey but supported by a metric tonne of bronzer and portrait mode

She's also locked Twitter down which may or not have coincided with CCJ drama revelations

 

[Dogmuck]

Jack had a new hairdo (she did it herself), but due to the fact she had to escape the bungahouse, because fleet streets finest were staring down her ring doorbell, she only managed to grab the one tshirt and whilst her friend is cool with her cooking a chicken for her to scoff on, they SHANT let her use the washing machine. Send stain devilos

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Maybe the one episode spin off show for the bungabailiffs will be called "won't pay we'll take your hair dyes away"

Also I just thought of "Jack Monroe - The Wizard of Pov" and it's terrible but I'm genuinely laughing out loud at myself. At least somebody is.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

While we're talking about #nofilterJack...

View attachment 2252501
This is a particular fave - 'no filter, no tweaking...'

And no earlobe, apparently

once again price dropping her clothes when they’re “cheap”….a three quid jumper, an Asda teeshirt….I suppose if you’re used to 9 grand watches and the wearing the same clothes as the prime minister then a primark outfit must be a hilarious novelty.

 

[lilykestrel]

I suppose it's not impossible that she grabbed the two boxes of dye before she left home. Cos that's what one does when you live out of a suitcase under duress.

But then that means she dyed her hair red in a friend's bathroom. I had hair that colour out of a box as a younger Frau, and rinsing that out is like the shower scene in Psycho, and that would be incredibly rude house guest behaviour IMO. But this is the house guest who sticks her paws in and uses her mates' spenny skin products so WFK

Also why does she need two boxes of it with short hair, I had hair past my shoulders and was fine with the one

WFK

 

[Limey]

once again price dropping her clothes when they’re “cheap”….a three quid jumper, an Asda teeshirt….I suppose if you’re used to 9 grand watches and the wearing the same clothes as the prime minister then a primark outfit must be a hilarious novelty.

My favourite (men's!!!!) shorts were five quid in the Primarni sale.

I don't tweet about it, because buying cheap clothes in a sale is normal for real people who aren't bringing in 100k a year tax free off a Patreon grift.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

The eyeballs are always a giveaway. The whites are blindingly white and the pupils have straight edges making it look like she has square pupils.

Sure sure, no filters….that’s just a completely explicable blurry plant in the background, fink they only grow in Southend.

 

[lythamstannes]

You’ve moved this now so my comment on the last thread makes 0 sense. Not that anything I say ever does. So I'll do it again for those at the back...and those who didn't enjoy it last time, can not enjoy it all over again.

Frommm Paris to Berlin, this woman's grifting is a sin...

Ha sorry tenderstem

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

It’s remarkable how a home box dye can cut your hair at the same time!

 

[Limey]

It’s remarkable how a home box dye can cut your hair at the same time!

View attachment 2252520
View attachment 2252521

Jings, that filtering software is powerful stuff, you'd never believe it was the same person.