Jack Monroe #52 Am I awful and nobody has ever told me?

[bananasplit88]

The replies to her flounce tweet

This week???!!! You must be new here.

 

[Anonymous One]

She should put her adverts on UK Gold during the day. ‘This is little Jackie. Little Jackie doesn’t know where her next mouthful of chicken porridge will come from. Worrying that you might have to sell your Cotswold company dressers because all the work has dried up like a horse spunk lasagne is no life to live. Just £5 a month will ensure that little Jackie has a lifetime supply of chicken porridge. Please give generously, for the price of a lukewarm cup of Starbucks’ coffee you too could make a difference’.

Your honour, I am fully aware that little Jackie does not have an advert on UK Gold, just an idea, m’lud.

ETA: remove autocorrect of horse spunk to ‘horse spunky’.

 

[MooBelle]

This has blown my mind the most. I’ve followed her for about 8 years now on various forms of SM over the years and never ever once in my memory has she mentioned A single one of those 3 (3?!) siblings.

Ok if there was 1 or 2 it might make sense maybe that they just weren’t that close, but 3 and she doesn’t spend time with a single one of them enough to mention?

She was asked (i think on the Giovanna Fletcher podcast) about Yannis, her brother. He's done very well for himself and all she could say was that they were close when they were little. Nothing more, just one snarky sentence.
When BLM was at it's peak she suddenly remembered she had a mixed race foster brother and tweeted that he was coming over for a haircut (because she's obviously a skilled hairdresser despite never mentioning it before)
People tweeted, very politely, that he shouldn't because she said she was shielding because she's immunocomprimised. She went into one of her frenzies. She suddenly wasn't shielding and she never said she was (she did say it and she's a liar) and everyone was RACIST AND YOU ARE ALL SO ABUSIVE and she would fight for 'that boy with the fire of a thousand suns and nothing you racist people can say otherwise'
It was one of her arguements with thin air that she has on Twitter (see DW and JO and apparently some weightloss app) She rants and raves and absolutely no one responds. She then starts to crow about how she is 'winning' and 'she won't be intimidated' and all the sycophants big her up and start a pile on onto whoever Jack deems to be her enemy at that time.
Then she deletes it and it is never mentioned again

 

[Silver Linings]

The plot thickens ...

I’m sure it’ll thicken up in the oven.

 

[LavaFlake]

A nice groundbreaking statement from our Dear Heart. Sick of her making obvious statements that easily yield heaps of RTs as if she's ever done anything to support the Windrush campaign (a quick Google finds nothing). I find it an absolute gall that you make statements like this while cosying up to Sarah Vine and the Goves on Twitter, hun x

 

[MancBee]

I mean there’s quite a selection of dark/black plants you can get these days, I’m sure a landlord wouldn’t object to some bedding plants. Also hope you’re doing ok MancBee.

I'm doing OK, a bit sore. You good Housefraus are keeping me entertained and providing company. Thankfully JM never followed up with that promise of food for cancer patients. Not that I would be likely to try any.

 

[AmberSpyglass]

Just in case Louisa is reading her account.
You’re 32 Jack, grow up.

 

[MancBee]

R Jackie implies that Louisa left abruptly and without warning. That is probably because she is so self absorbed that she was unable to read the signs that Louisa was unhappy.

People get together and at first it is all hearts and flowers and getting to know each other. Then, you either adapt to each other and grow closer together, or you find that you grow apart. It is especially difficult if one or both, are not willing to compromise (looking at you JM).

 

[Harrybosch]

Congratulations to @acca00 for your second thread title. Winner with most reactions.

Also, honourable mention to @Carrotcrunchet for: ‘Saturn runs rings around R Jackie’s triangulation’, which is also proving popular.

Recap of #51
This thread saw Jack Monroe get back in touch with her Greek roots, and she produced a delightfully edible looking feast that looked, literally, too good to be true.

She also produced a Trainspotting-style list of what she deemed were divisions of rich and poor in terms of classy and trashy.

She then posted an two-page short memoir about her grief for the kitten (and possibly for relationship that is no longer). She deleted it.

She went for a walk with her friend and didn’t fall in the lake.

Lastly, our detective and hero on the outside Saturn has uncovered a potential conspiracy on Twitter, making the cabal aware through cleverly coded messages that an account named ‘Chaz[and numbers]’ appeared to be following accounts that are possibly associated with members of the cabal. Interestingly, ‘Chaz’ has now deleted their twitter account.

The plot thickens ...

Can we organise a pay rise for Pocahontas please? She's working harder than the rest of the cabal.

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s being rude to people on twitterabout that fasting app, saying it triggered her and shouting at people that it’s advertising to kids when it clearly isn’t, all the while not trigger warning her own posts and triggering other people, so I cba and am not going to screenshot. Silly cow.

 

[crystaleyesd]

"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true"

 

[Warrend]

I've seen her blame it on her autism too.

Being autistic doesn't make you cunty.

Being cunty makes you cunty.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Hate to be the person who brings it up again but just fleetingly for a sec. One thing that struck me at the time and I won't forget it, is when (in the middle of kitten-gate) she said that she wouldn't be sharing the medical details of the cat because "people have to spoil things". She was f*cking furious that she couldn't get away with the bullshit. And what did she do a few days later when she legit saw a vet? Shared more than she ever, ever should have. She was on top of the world!

 

[Veronicaaa]

HOLD THE FRONT DOOR, SHE'S MIXING PEANUT BUTTER WITH BLUE CHEESE.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

View attachment 191086

My eyes just rolled completely out of my head.
a) Why do you have nine email boxes? Maybe spend an hour consolidating?
b) what the f are you doing for 20 hours a day/90 hours a week if you're not checking your emails????
Argh.

“Emails from human beings”? As opposed to what, fish?

I’m Grunka-ing but I am the big . I will never, ever forget the lovely birthday messages I got from you wonderful people.

Size 8 feet and also “big boned”. Because I’m carrying a lot of extra timber just now, I’d describe myself as “built like a brick shit house” . Always so kind to myself....

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Patreon.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

So I just clicked on the Patreon link that she listed on her ‘off Twitter but you can still contact me’ Post.
I can’t believe what I’ve just read!
View attachment 191833View attachment 191834Erm how many postcards would one person need!? What are they doing with them all?? $14 (£11!)dollars a monthView attachment 191835 A pack of 6 postcards EVERY month for £18.76, mother of God, you’d be drowning in them if you’d joined a few years ago, although that general feeling of wellbeing would be such a boost for a person
View attachment 191836Then for £34.40 a month signed framed photo only one and then all the previous rewards erm a stack of postcards!? Recipes (aren’t those given away fro free? And the sense of well-being, phew at least they have that warm glow every month View attachment 191840
For £65.67 a month you can be a whispering sous chef! A personal thanks if your idea is used erm what about actual recognition !!!
I can’t quite believe the gall!!

And this is why we’re all here! Jack has many faults and done a lot of stupid things during lockdown but the way she pretends to be poor to manipulate people into giving her money is by far the worst!

I’m not against Patron. An artist friend of mine has one but she gives a lot of education content in return such as draw along sessions, talking about materials and her process. If I was an arty type I think this would be a worthwhile investment.
Jack could do so much with hers, exclusive cooking sessions for example. But the thing is she’s work shy, she doesn’t put time and effort into getting better and creating decent content. She could have really elevated her twitter lockdown larder and perhaps taken it to YouTube or Instagram. She managed to secure Hellmanns and I’m sure a supermarket or magazine would have picked it up too if she had stuck with it. But patron keeps her “ticking over” so she doesn’t have to really try.

I can’t understand how her followers don’t think “hang on, Vivian westward dress, The cotswold catalogue, Philips lumi, Dyson fan...”
She’s doing alright!

 

[PoorPatrol]

You cabal of vile trolls are keeping me going this week! I’ve been really snowed under, but keep coming back every couple of hours or so to scan through all the brilliant comments. The razor sharp wit, and unlimited kindness is just the tonic. My usual go-to during busy periods would be to read the news during little breaks, but it’s so frustrating and depressing! You’re all bloody champs

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's acting as though she spent an idyllic childhood in Cyprus before she was dramatically exiled to Southend. Double mention of lemons fresh from the tree too, interesting for someone so invested in not actually ever cooking with them.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Why did she buy so much chicken?! 3 packs of wafer thin chicken and then this chicken?! She was there for like 4 days.

As a 90% vegan it is obviously her duty to buy up all the chicken to prevent other disgusting carnivores from eating it