Jack Monroe #490 Isn't it laconic? Don't you think?

[Tabitha D]

Do you know, I’ve GENUINELY survived three concussions (two quite amusing, once I knew I didn’t die) so I’m so much tougher than our little pixieshit

But if you were to tell Jack this, she’d suddenly remember a couple of extra concussions - just so she could say she had MORE CONCUSSIONS than you - and she probably nearly died and that. Most serious concussions EVER!
No one has suffered like Jack.

 

[lilykestrel]

Jack claiming that "The NHS: Your Money or Your Life" was published before the creation of the NHS has absolutely delighted me. I bleeping love History Jack.

she probably FAILED GCSE History like she FAILED GCSE Geography and therefore apparently Googling a date and exercising the bare minimum of deductive reasoning is something she will never be able to master

 

[Mr Krabs]

It's the Jack affect. Made me think we'll see cctv of the woman tomorrow pushing a shopping trolley full of salt to her car

Same here. I don’t think this woman did it herself for fundraising/attention. I suspect it was some neighbourhood busybody who didn’t like the project for whatever reason. A volunteer parked on their drive or something. But thanks to Jack I just suspect everyone of being grifty nowadays. It’s sad.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Jack the Hat McGrifty reappeared like herpes last night to announce to Twitter that Cambridge lit Fest had received a number of threats against her person and asked if she wanted to cancel. She said I think the duck not get yer tickets via this link, yawn yawn.

Then she did another tweet listing all the things she'd survived in the past including loads of triggery stuff but also a kidnapping that didn't happen and two concussions.

Lol.

If I do the next thread, I will steal this for the recap

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Jack could pay off her debt to CCJ squig with one of her Tiffany earrings.
It started as a tenner and she was too arrogant or thick to pay it and now she could face losing one earring

At least, we will be able to liken her single earring wearing to a certain Johnny Depp pirate character. Jack Tit (instead of Sparrow).

 

[ScamSandwich]

Funny how Jack shares every dull, banal moment of her boring little life but never shares any of these threats, isn’t it? She can get in the bin, the lying bleep. Got no patience for her tit today.

Exactly !!! And that way she can always imply that it is US who send out threats. Which of course is not true.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Whoever does the new thread could I put in a request for a poll on whether Jack will or will not turn up at the Cambs Fest

 

[ScamSandwich]

Threat claims before festival appearance.. She is always going on about festivals... didn't she claim to wear /having to wear a stab vest at Glastonbury? Maybe she is scared of festivals. Whatever it is, she appears to be more in danger than Salman Rushdie.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I wonder if she still has her Glasto stab vest, lads?

This seems like the ideal opportunity to performatively pop it on.
---

Threat claims at the festival. She is always going on about festivals... didn't she claim to wear /having to wear a stab vest at Glastonbury? Maybe she is scared of festivals. Whatever it is, she appears to be more in danger than Salman Rushdie.

Oh babe, same!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Whoever does the new thread could I put in a request for a poll on whether Jack will or will not turn up at the Cambs Fest

Request granted!

 

[WoolyMammoth]

she probably FAILED GCSE History like she FAILED GCSE Geography and therefore apparently Googling a date and exercising the bare minimum of deductive reasoning is something she will never be able to master

The ironic possibility of Jack studying 3 humanities subjects (half gcse rs, geography and history) is not lost on me, fraus.

Humanities. Humanity. Humility. Ha, no to the above.

 

[HotesTilaire]

She has had to start inventing concussion incidents that she can later blame for her “memory issues” coz her timeline is like a Dr Who plot

 

[WoolyMammoth]

She has had to start inventing concussion incidents that she can later blame for her “memory issues” coz her timeline is like a Dr Who plot

Cynic!

 

[NellieBoo]

I wonder if she still has her Glasto stab vest, lads?

This seems like the ideal opportunity to performatively pop it on.
---

Oh babe, same!

Excuse you. A 'made to measure stab vest' or some other guff.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Elon giving us some minor mithering to look forward to ahead of Patreon payday

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Elon giving us some minor mithering to look forward to ahead of Patreon payday

View attachment 2096226

I’ll give you this one for free Jack- make a 4/20 quip

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Get your tickets to the next thread here.

Jack Monroe #491 Salmon Mushdie and the C-Litfest chaos

Thread title by a squig and @I'm not actually here and nominated by @Hollaaa and @BlendedSlop Prizes are unspecified threats in email and brown envelope format and an invite to a Lit Fest that may or not be going ahead. Recap; I can't be arsed but luckily @DianeAbbotsMojito delivered a fine...

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