Jack Monroe #491 Salmon Mushdie and the C-Litfest chaos

[People-huv-tae-know]

Thread title by a squig and @I'm not actually here and nominated by @Hollaaa and @BlendedSlop

Prizes are unspecified threats in email and brown envelope format and an invite to a Lit Fest that may or not be going ahead.

Recap; I can't be arsed but luckily @DianeAbbotsMojito delivered a fine one at the end of the last thread. I'm stealing this like a grifter narc that has no shame.

Go well frau and herr pals but also be Warned!

 

[HotesTilaire]

First!
anyway, yes Jack was back and as insufferable as ever. Tuesday nights, is when she internet fights.

 

[SadieHQ]

Second! Delighted that we’ve had a chaos…eagerly looking forward to what ailment derails the lit-fest twit-fest….

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

First!
anyway, yes Jack was back and as insufferable as ever. Tuesday nights, is when she internet fights.

Third?
Do we have any recent SB posts from her? He's gone NC I'm thinking

 

[Livia Fantasy]

She’s such a sad old witch, isn’t she?

 

[Ablemabel]

She’s such a sad old witch, isn’t she?

Yes, absolutely x

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I'm quite excited for the clitfest. I may take the day off work. I pray for live streaming. It'll be like a courtroom thing where people leap over the dock

 

[HotesTilaire]

I'm quite excited for the clitfest. I may take the day off work. I pray for live streaming. It'll be like a courtroom thing where people leap over the dock

Remember when she was late to conference and there were updates of it starting, with her empty chair?

 

[NellieBoo]

I'm quite excited for the clitfest. I may take the day off work. I pray for live streaming. It'll be like a courtroom thing where people leap over the dock

Which Frau is the best at manifesting JackShit chaos? Please make this happen .

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I've just looked at the programme for Clitfest. I have to say... It doesn't look like much... Fun. It looks like hard work

 

[Jelly Bean]

So will there be this hullabaloo over every speaking engagement she is meant to turn up to?
If so this promises to be a long hot summer.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

That message from them to squig is a generic reply. It doesnt seem like a valid response to a concerned customer. Also even if she does do this engagements i havw a feeling it will be a one hit wonder like all the rest and she will not be asked back. She is such a liability!

 

[NellieBoo]

So will there be this hullabaloo over every speaking engagement she is meant to turn up to?
If so this promises to be a long hot summer.

Well quite. It's ok for her to be *tapping signs* and *checking notes* like it's a full time job. Not quite as easy when it's being thrown back at her though, eh?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I don't think anything will (or should) happen, but think she's probably hoping it will. She's desperate enough to claw back favour at this point she's prob bunged someone 50 quid to throw a big mac at her from the audience

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Well quite. It's ok for her to be *tapping signs* and *checking notes* like it's a full time job. Not quite as easy when it's being thrown back at her though, eh?

Tapping sign Jack gives me RAGE!!!

 

[NellieBoo]

I've just looked at the programme for Clitfest. I have to say... It doesn't look like much... Fun. It looks like hard work

I've been amusing myself by looking at the accommodation recs here. Very nice but £££ for a Clitfest which looks a little dry <ahem>.

Accommodation - Cambridge Literary Festival

Accommodation at Cambridge Literary Festival

www.cambridgeliteraryfestival.com

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

So will there be this hullabaloo over every speaking engagement she is meant to turn up to?
If so this promises to be a long hot summer.

If organisations continue to not do due diligence, then, yeah!
Crazy that she keeps slipping through isn't it?!
I do think word will be getting around now. Del monte and Herman's (! Keeping that)won't be on the festival radar
but she's shown herself up (or not shown) a few times for festivals and talks now hasn't she?
I don't understand why you wouldn't Google someone you were asking to speak? I would fb search and peruse other sm everyone before they even interview for a job?!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I’ve just realized what past trauma Jack is reliving when she says she “survived a car accident”.

Spoiler: So ruddy bloody brave

 

[hoopdedoo]

First!
anyway, yes Jack was back and as insufferable as ever. Tuesday nights, is when she internet fights.

It's getting late, have you seen my ex-mate
Tell me when SB has gone
It's half-past seven and I'm raging again
Got my not-Tiffany earrings on

My old man has an MBE
And my old lady burned the dire spuds
I'm fewming and Zooming and pumbling
Getting into it with the chuds

Don't give me none of your facts and figures
I've had it with your truthful spin
Tuesday night's all right for fighting
Get a little snarking in

Get about as oiled as a cold frying pan
Gonna set the shed alight
Tuesday night is the night I like
Tuesday night's alright, alright, alright
---

That message from them to squig is a generic reply. It doesnt seem like a valid response to a concerned customer. Also even if she does do this engagements i havw a feeling it will be a one hit wonder like all the rest and she will not be asked back. She is such a liability!

Tenderstem, I had exactly the same reaction to the Clitfest message. I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and believe they have figured out that "fulfil your Patreon rewards or shut it down" isn't exactly a Salman Rushdie fatwa type threat. Hence no unusual security measures required.

 

[BubbleDuck]

it’s strange that Jack hasn’t shared details of the threats sent to Clitfest but was so quick to share in graphic detail the threats she’d apparently received involving acid and her unrulys ( I can’t find the screenshots but you know which ones I mean) Because presumably these new threats are in a similar vein , otherwise why would she bother mentioning them . Makes that response from CLitFest look woefully inadequate and negligent, don’t you think .