Jack Monroe #475 If you have Eamonn Holmes, place him on top of the chicken for added flavor

[Birditer29]

Top squig is journo

 

[SamFoxStuckinaCloak]

Oh God, she’s SO boring!

Fraus- this week I have discovered a real life friend is on tattle, but apparently not this thread. Have encouraged them to lurk.

I also (and without wishing to ) found myself being mentioned on this thread which was a very strange experience- wanting to both go “that’s me!” And also desperate to maintain my anonymity.

 

[Nurseali]

Will we get self pitying nonsense from her this Tuesday? Valentines day all alone again.

What a sad little life Jack.

It's my first valentine's alone in 15years. I plan to eat steak, masturbate furiously and listen to Whatever fucking music I want to whilst drinking gin . I can't fucking wait.

I can multitask but might eat my steak separately to masturbating.

 

[UnPickled]

Complaining its libellous to call her a celebrity chef, when that's her bloody bio on kruger cowne. Yawn, nothing changes.

 

[mince]

Hands up if you have bank accounts with low balances.
Keep your hand up if you have other accounts.

 

[GigglePops]

The suspected main Jack sock has deactivated just as she has reappeared.

Really makes you think.

 

[Deeznutslol]

Oooh she’s up and she’s fuming this morning lads

 

[FourSeasonSoupObsessive]

Every time she comes back now, I say “back once again with the eel behaviour” to myself and chortle

That or “kettle looks great, Jack! Looking forward to ditching you later today x”

both of which crack me up every single time

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Confirmed by a bona fide psephologist.

 

[Geetbo]

OMFG

 

[Veronicaaa]

 

[StatusWoe]

Why you not proud?
Smol Jack in Stroud.

Why eel not defend her?
Coke in water, on a bender.

Sorry for that DIRE bit of writing. Really I just wanted to repost the eel photo. Poor thing, it looks as though it's seen Jack's thirst shots.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I was happy in the haze of my Grunking hour
but heaven knows I’m fed up of her now

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Spoiler: Bad frau

I think I've called the next chaos.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I imagine she does it in such an unnerving fashion, that her victim lover intended is too scared to say 'no'

Only vague recollections of safety films as a little child in England. In Australia, you get taught about drugs by an animatronic giraffe in a trailer that comes to your school though. Which is very weird.

Perhaps we need some 70s style PSAs to warn people about Jack. With scary booming voiceovers.

“Every year, 3 or 4 people find Jack Monroe falling softly, gently in love with them. It may seem like an innocent burger, but an encounter with Jack could lead to a Harvester engagement or even a lifetime of child support. It’s a myth that it’s just older lesbians who are affected. Straight men may also encounter Jack. So remember. If you see Jack on tinder - Swipe Left Or You’ll Be Next.”

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

Just doing a speed grunk and how fucking DARE she?! How dare she act like she'd not change and be 'umble reluctant millionaire Jack if she got loaded through suing people who are simply repeating her own words back at her We saw how she was when she had thousands in the bank. She went from dressing like a sad churchgoing housefrau with Tory politicians hair to dressing in Westwood and owning 50 million Chanel lippies and updating her look every week simply because she could. Fuck off, Jack. You utter fucking cunt. I hate your guts and I cannot wait until you have to go back to being a nobody.

 

[BurgerLaBill]

Oh she's back from sniffing eels then? I've just been talking to someone originally from Southend . Can't say much more because it will immediately triangulate me. However, I mentioned Jack Monroe's name and the person's face resembled a bulldog licking piss off a nettle, accompanied with "massive con artist".

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's accusing the political editor of the Express of libel because he wrote this -

Dickhead.

 

[lilykestrel]

Does anybody have the number for payroll? Seems we're supposed to be getting paid by 30p and That Man.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Oh god, I wish she'd go away again.