Jack Monroe #469 Spam fits my macros.

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Right, I’ve got my Frau outfit and hat on and I’m hanging out at Aldi with a grater and a bag of mushrooms- if I don’t get approached by Jennynumnums I shall howl and claw at the floor until the security guard (softly gently etc) is forced to remove me …
 
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I feel claustrophobic just looking at the garden
 
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Really insightful post this. Brilliant, thanks for sharing!
 
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If she’s doesn’t come back to Twitter (supposing she didn’t slide into Instagram, Facebook or blogging) how long after would the threads get closed?
I’m counting on her softly, gently, meekly approaching Twitter to post an ‘Um, Hi’ tweet using her Dickensian prose to hint at brittleness and fragility myself.
 
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I don’t have tea but I assume she got ditched for simply being a dreadful person
I wonder if Jack is the sort to be constantly shoving their phone in their partners face, like a new parent with 200 photos of their ugly baby.
"Look look look look.. they tweeted this about me so I said this look look.."
Couple that with the overall social media addiction, I've had an ex that would scarce look up from the devices, I reckon she'd drive any normal sane person around several bends and a roundabout.
 
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I really hope she has been sent to a professional to seek help. Her son deserves much better. The very fact that people on her real ife have walked away shows that they are tired of her bullshit and that they needed get away before she caused them more grief and stress. I have also been wondering about these other jobs she had in emails where they jobs for this year or next as i haven't seen or heard from her in months. Apart from the car crash interview.
 
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Cringed myself inside out at the New Statesman article. So many 🫣 moments.

I’ll pick my favourite few:
The most important thing about bananas is to buy Fairtrade ones...
I feel as I type this that it may be one of those things I’m disproportionately passionate about

Were the flat laid bananas fair trade? I don’t think so…

• This whole part made me bilious.

On to lighter matters. A friend called to say that she had tickets for Nile Rodgers and Chic at the Roundhouse in Camden and to ask me if I wanted to come disco dancing. Being 27, I wasn’t the intended audience, but instead of asking, “Who?” I had a listen online in the days before. The wonders of modern technology: no more hovering around the radio all afternoon, waiting for a song to come on so we could push down the play and record button simultaneously and impress it on to a cracked old cassette . . . It’s just a quick search away now, which is more efficient but somehow less thrilling.
We went along in our band of four, in luminous shirts and flat, sensible shoes, quite unlike the ones I went dancing in during my heyday as a shots dolly at a local nightclub (there are photos somewhere, but thankfully I don’t have any and nobody would believe it was me anyway). It was a hoot: a happy-go-lucky, shuffling, disco hoot. We managed to be out by 11pm, too – it really wasn’t like that in my day.


What does she mean by “in my day”. She was 27 when she wrote this. I take from this whole thing that she has nothing to compare this experience to because she’d never been on a pals night out like that before. Fucking flat shoes and home at a sensible time. At 27?

I think this might be the one thing that makes me feel sorry for her. My mum’s in her mid-late 70s now and says ‘in my day’ talking about being a mod in the 60s. I’m aghast at how little a life Jack has lived.
 
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Yes what happened to the all the toot toot? All up her nose I expect.
 
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At this juncture I wish to officially start the campaign to have
DRAMATIC PAUSE .. Still I rinse
as the thread title as it will make us all chuckle for days.

DRAMATIC PAUSE from the Slop Empress herself, rest of it from @imBUSY

 
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This is so interesting, thank you for taking the time to post it. I know this is a bit of a basic response but it really does bring home to me once again just how much social media makes it possible for a person to construct a fake life and a fake status that is so totally removed from real life and people will believe it if it coheres with their existing desires and beliefs. I mean, we all knew that already, of course, but Jack is such an egregious example that it bowls me over every time I consider it properly.

I really feel sorry for D&E, I know many on these threads disagree with that assessment but ime it is so hard when you have a narc in the family, because their behaviour is so manipulative and deceitful that many outside the family are taken in and assume YOURE the bad guy. And it’s difficult to correct that assumption without looking petty or unhinged. It’s crazy making, so you end up just keeping quiet and living with it, trying to keep the peace.

I don’t think D&E are perfect people or perfect parents by any means cos there is no such thing as a perfect parent (hello Philip Larkin ) , I just think the current day mess and deception is all on Jack.
 
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What a lovely leisurely pace this thread is moving at. Old articles, fish comparisons and animal smells, all human life is here.
All her food looks like the infected people in The Last of Us. Which I shamelessly want to chat about because I am deeply in love with Pedro Pascal.
 
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Also I am much older than Jack and did indeed do the whole ’press record on your tape player when the top 20 was on the radio on Sundays‘ thing. But she wouldn’t have done that ever. She’s too young.

If she weren’t such a thundercunt I’d feel sorry for how little sense of self she has.
 
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Jack Mango has proper Boomer energy
 
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I’m not sure why we are pondering the details of the LJC split when we still don’t have the answer to the far more important question: WHAT HAPPENED IN DORDRECHT??
 
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Is there any tea on their breakup...
Reading between the lines LJC got fed up with Jack being a self-absorbed spendthrift, and Jack was angry because she thought Louisa was tight-fisted. As has been observed,Jack has frequently thrown LJC under the bus regarding finances.
 
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