Jack Monroe #467 Tragedies that seem to befall her, you’d think her life was written by Lemony Snicket

[Marmalade Atkins]

“It matters not one jot”. What an absolute pair of insufferable twats they are. Even if he didn’t actually say it.

I'm guessing he didn't what with his wife being a Tory.

I couldn't find the receipt, soz, but you know the one: it also said many of her past lovers were Tories.

 

[kachoochoo]

The first house I bought was at Brightside

Spoiler: completely off topic constituencies and postcodes

i know I'm an incomer, but nothing about boundaries makes sense here! we're miles from brightside over here. i just assume its circular, like the weird ass postcodes here

jack related, why do you residents of southend have an ss0 postcode? it's weird the rest of us are content with xx1

 

[TragicSweetPotatoes]

She lives in a Ken Loach film from 1972.

Spoiler: Poor taste pet joke, sorry

she killed her own kestrel though

 

[jenny2603]

I'm guessing he didn't what with his wife being a Tory.

I couldn't find the receipt, soz, but you know the one: it also said many of her past lovers were Tories.

Surely to God, Soubs wouldn't pump Jack. It deffo wasn't Edwina. I'm going to draw up a list of Tory suspects.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

Also one of them claimed they were Awfully Molly as a pretty obvious joke and he's absolutely losing his tit. I've been hooting at this on and off all day. There's some historic beef with a guy he called a pweirdo in 2019. If poor dimwit Jack was capable of learning she might want to reflect on the type of people who support her and what that says about her.

Honestly, blue face squig is giving me LIFE this evening.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

(Pay my) Rent
Grifty Boots
(Please don’t dress as) Mary Poppins
Fiddler on the Tax
White Christmas (don’t need to change that one to be fair)

Six (Hour Shagathon)
Spend, Spend, Spend
Barry Manilow's Cocaine-Cabana
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (no change required)

 

[Nurseali]

Spoiler: completely off topic constituencies and postcodes

i know I'm an incomer, but nothing about boundaries makes sense here! we're miles from brightside over here. i just assume its circular, like the weird ass postcodes here

jack related, why do you residents of southend have an ss0 postcode? it's weird the rest of us are content with xx1

Spoiler: Off topic Henderson's talk

They have just changed the school ones which has caused meltdowns , poshos don't wants chavs in their catchment area
But yeah the areas don't make sense

 

[HotesTilaire]

View attachment 1905144

Was calling you a “pretty bleeping poof” because you had a short sleeved shirt and short hair (wtf?!) before or after these same dreadful people also told you that “white trash shouldn’t breed”, or that you “should have kept your legs closed”

Why does everything vaguely (or extremely) abusive she claims people say to her sound like nothing anyone (but her) would naturally think up or say? “A pretty bleeping poof” FFS. Jack, it’s just you with GI Jane hair and one of Dwight Schrute’s work shirts on. Get a grip you bleeping fantasist.

Oh yeah, mistaken for a gay man. Sure Jan with your famous “look at my tits” tits.

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

Ken Loach's acclaimed British drama "Jack" focuses on Jack Monroe, a tormented working-class girl who is subjected to abuse both at school and on the tough streets of Thorpe Bay. When her parents take her out of school and force her to take a job at evil Mr Bigham's factory, Jack's already bleak existence takes a turn for the worse until she finds an enormous dog in a puddle and names him Content. While Jack forms a close bond with the dog, her hardscrabble life and harsh environment prove to be a challenge to Jack and her dog.

I genuinely think she feels this is her reality. Nothing is ever normal, or caused by her actions.

Also, chapeau. Wonderful!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I'm guessing he didn't what with his wife being a Tory.

I couldn't find the receipt, soz, but you know the one: it also said many of her past lovers were Tories.

Here it is, though I couldn’t find it with a date on. Back in her @Mx days though.

Sorry for the “L” word, even if they are former and there are no tomatoes involved

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

The squigs are solving everyone’s problems by turning on each other SQUIGCEPTION

Squig games

 

[jenny2603]

I shan't break the Tattle rules but I am intrigued* as what this "army against the Tories" does and what part Jack plays in it.


*Not really, it's the world's stupidest people moaning about the Tories on Twitter and thinking that's activism.

 

[Limey]

Spoiler: completely off topic constituencies and postcodes

i know I'm an incomer, but nothing about boundaries makes sense here! we're miles from brightside over here. i just assume its circular, like the weird ass postcodes here

jack related, why do you residents of southend have an ss0 postcode? it's weird the rest of us are content with xx1

It's not the only town to have that, the Bolton postal area also has BL0 #postcodefacts

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Here it is, though I couldn’t find it with a date on. Back in her @Mx days though.
View attachment 1905238
Sorry for the “L” word, even if they are former and there are no tomatoes involved

A lot of my former lovers.

Imagine writing those words. lol.

 

[Geetbo]

Surely to God, Soubs wouldn't pump Jack. It deffo wasn't Edwina. I'm going to draw up a list of Tory suspects.

 

[Fleasyweezy]

That tattoo based on the sketch. I don’t get it. Did she only have a pixelated version to show the tattooist as he seems to have done a lady cuddling a snake with a cabbage for a head. I genuinely could not work out why the ’skull’ had a shrek tentacle/ear on it.

I’m still in genuine bewilderment it‘s not even a month since GK was released. It’s STILL JANUARY and yet it’s tanked, been dropped by TT, promotions all but have stopped and it’s been pulled apart online and rightly so. The only interview she did to promote it she ended up admitting spending patreon money on pills, booze and furniture and she managed to lie about a bath of coins.

And just like roast potato gate and painting rooms colours gate she‘s on a strop, after a good dose of attention baiting with tasty s breadcrumbs.

Yet it’s all the trolls fault?!

If she does as has been stated have a close family member with cancer I think this is why she breadcrumbed it then. Jealous of the attention.

When she was seeing a partner with an allergy, all of a sudden Jack had an allergy too.

Her Mum has RA so of course, so does she.

Jack stated that the same (the same people!) who hounded Caroline Flack to her death were also hounding her.

Do we have a list of all the terrorist attacks, celebrity deaths and notable events that Jack was at or involved with in some way? I thought she was a grief thief but maybe she’s just bloody cursed.

BIB not dropped, tender one, paused (presumably indefinitely as there ain’t going to be a second run to “fix” the dangerous bits)

 

[Deeznutslol]

Here it is, though I couldn’t find it with a date on. Back in her @Mx days though.
View attachment 1905238
Sorry for the “L” word, even if they are former and there are no tomatoes involved

I like this one where her dad basically said that if she’d been raised by Nan she’d have been a nazi in response to a post she made about doing a live 1984 reading

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I notice that translations of Chinese and Korean dramas often use "lover" as a translation for certain gender-neutral words for partner/sweetheart/boyfriend/girlfriend. It always gives me the ick because in English, the word "lover" usually indicates an affair ... maybe that's why Jack likes it so much?

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

View attachment 1905247

I shan't break the Tattle rules but I am intrigued* as what this "army against the Tories" does and what part Jack plays in it.


*Not really, it's the world's stupidest people moaning about the Tories on Twitter and thinking that's activism.

Pumbledore’s Army.

 

[NellieBoo]

View attachment 1905144

Was calling you a “pretty bleeping poof” because you had a short sleeved shirt and short hair (wtf?!) before or after these same dreadful people also told you that “white trash shouldn’t breed”, or that you “should have kept your legs closed”

Why does everything vaguely (or extremely) abusive she claims people say to her sound like nothing anyone (but her) would naturally think up or say? “A pretty bleeping poof” FFS. Jack, it’s just you with GI Jane hair and one of Dwight Schrute’s work shirts on. Get a grip you bleeping fantasist.

Where is she claiming this nonsense happened?! Gay bars?! What a load of shite. Honestly, I was my best friends beard for years due to actual homophobia, so I used to go to a lot of gay pubs and clubs with him, after some god awful work event or just so we could socialise together without him pretending. There's no way that happened in a gay bar or club. A jab in the ribs from an angry lesbian who was pissed off with Jack being the most lesbianist lesbian ever, possibly. And there's no way it happened in straight bars and clubs either. She's clearly female! It's so ridiculous!