Dog aneurysm alert.
A) Jack: OMG my dog is 50 pounds, haha silly me, how big will she get, she's so mahoosive, biggest dog ever right??
Normal person: 50 pounds is around 22-23kg. That's a fairly normal size for dogs such as labradors or retrievers at 9 months. My little lab cross is 24kg fully grown, and I wouldn't class her as a "big dog" by any stretch. I've also had a pointer in the past who was 45kg fully grown - your dog isn't mahoosive, it's a normal large breed dog. Grow up.
B) Jack: OMG I can't walk my dog cos ILL but when I'm not just being lazy ILL I take her out for like 16 hours a day walking, hahaha I'm so mad!!
Normal person: Your dog doesn't need 14 hours of walks a day. The more you exercise her, the more she'll need. Focus on training, mental activities, find it games, puzzle toys. You'll have a more settled dog than after an unstructured run around bothering everything and everyone else, and she will sit still for photographs.
C) Jack: OMG my dog runs around playing with other dogs for 2 hours a day while I WORK!!! Isn't she clever, look at me doing dog owner stuff!!
Normal person: Please don't let your dog "yomp" around while you're not supervising her. And yes, "working" or whatever tit you're doing, is not supervising your dog. Not all dogs want to play and some will see her "playing" as rude, aggressive, space-invading etc. My dog does this if I don't watch her and it's not good - you have to be on the ball and paying attention at all times to safely allow your dog off lead, especially if her recall isn't 100% spot on. She will end up getting attacked, and that is on you - not the other owner and dog on a lead minding their own business while your unsupervised dog runs riot.
As an aside, my dog is an actual rescue who had no socialisation as a pup and therefore presents as extremely rude to other dogs, is reactive to other dogs and blokes with hats if she's not having the best day. I've had her to reactive dog classes and 4 years later it is still an ongoing process. As a note, one of the first things we were told was that if she's had a bad walk where she's been really reactive and uptight, her stress hormone levels will be huge. Take a few days off walking. Do the brain games, training at home. Let the stress hormones dissipate and try again. bleeping Laurie bounding up in my dog's face would be an absolute nightmare, and while mine hasn't shown aggression, another dog may be pushed into fight (not flight) in that situation. Jack, grow up and look after your pets properly.
not flinched when a hand is moved. I love him more than I despise Jack Monroe.
I wrote AND instead of &
just tell us what the CCJ situation is. 
