it's honestly my worst nightmare of a holiday. I mean, even without taking into consideration doing it with Jack. Although that would increase the unbearableness by approx 344%
Jack Monroe #460 Foghorn Beghorn
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Some poor sod in work today trying to deal with what appears to be Henry's Cat complaining about being abused by a therapist.
No. No, she is not. I just can't work out what she means. Very strange; one to ponder.
So the “Therapist” nonsense happened last night, and in the 24 hours since, someone has “reported” them to their professional body who have, in that time, “investigated” AND contacted the “therapist” regarding during this time, and the therapist has, for some reason, told Jack about it all.
It takes me three weeks to get petty cash for bleeping teabags back.
I’m not saying this is bollocks. It’s TOTAL BOLLOCKS.
It takes me three weeks to get petty cash for bleeping teabags back.
I’m not saying this is bollocks. It’s TOTAL BOLLOCKS.
I’m sorry what? The photo of the dog on the couch with the TWO lamps that are clearly on but the only light is coming from a salt lamp???
Doubt. Lol
MIL is the kid's other Grandma, right?
I mean, who knows in the Monroeniverse etc, but that would seem to make the most sense.
I mean, who knows in the Monroeniverse etc, but that would seem to make the most sense.
Probably not a friend either. If he exists he's a replacement for Harold/Barold
Babe, same x Sometimes, particularly in the summer, I say 'Wouldn't it be great to go camping for the weekend?' And my poor Old Harold sighs, gives me The Look and wanders off muttering stuff about hot running water and electricity. Then I give myself a shake and remember I'm a middle aged woman who has never put a tent up and I wouldn't last an hour on a campsite <shudder>.
Restraining orders require a conviction I think. Jack best get the cwack suicide squad on it.
Wild camping means carrying every precious drop of water plus no toilet roll unless you take it home used and shitting in a hole in the ground - if the bungalow is crappy this holiday ain’t for her
She did drink a bottle a day.hold up. She was drinking a bottle of whisky a day. Let’s say that’s £18 a bottle. £9 a day she’s put away. She’s saved £3,276 for a holiday. And she’sbringing
After applying lipstick.
From her advent calendar.
That MUA has a lot to answer for.
Speed grunk but have we actually seen the earlier tweets to to ‘sofa surf’ nonsense?
I mean...just WHY would you do this? Why would you make your child live in these conditions when you have pots of money and there’s absolutely NO NEED? At this point I really do hope Social Work is aware of this absolute bullshit. No child needs to put up with living like this (ie the mother wilfully ‘camping’ in her own home) when there is literally no need for it - she commands (ahem) £10-15k speaking fees, is a supposed ‘best selling author ‘, grifts god knows how much from Patreon etc - come the tit on, this is obscene.
Also: Scotland DOES
NOTWANTYOUJACKYOUBOGUSCROOK.
And: hahahahaha follower numbers continue to drop daily (just like the useless book’s sales rank)
I mean...just WHY would you do this? Why would you make your child live in these conditions when you have pots of money and there’s absolutely NO NEED? At this point I really do hope Social Work is aware of this absolute bullshit. No child needs to put up with living like this (ie the mother wilfully ‘camping’ in her own home) when there is literally no need for it - she commands (ahem) £10-15k speaking fees, is a supposed ‘best selling author ‘, grifts god knows how much from Patreon etc - come the tit on, this is obscene.
Also: Scotland DOES
NOTWANTYOUJACKYOUBOGUSCROOK.And: hahahahaha follower numbers continue to drop daily (just like the useless book’s sales rank)
I think they meant get her sectioned and whatever orders that requires
The last post of my lunch break. Honest 'guv.
Just picturing Jack's moving day. She has no concept of time, due to arthritis of the bum hole. She wakes up at precisely 6.15. Gently, softly leaves yestetdays clothes on, gets the cat out of bed and calls her son in from outside. Smartprice wheat bisks for the cat, and smartprice dog food for the child. She then looks at her 47 boxes of books, that take up the annex in her mansion, adoringly.
Jack sits down on the edge of her bed at 9.15 to put her doc martens on, it is now 1400. The doorbell has been rung by the removal firm, who have come and gone. They shall not return. A note attached with a Swiss army style knife to the door reads "thanks for all that you HAVEN'T done"
This is a disaster, our Smol vertically challenged five foot seven pixie absolutely, positively, has to be out TODAY. A call to her the rapist, and an unfortunately typed space later she informs her child and household pets, including the dead ones they must move her tit. For her mouth crumbles, her arm is ouchy her lovesense vibrator has fallen out.
Oh crumbs.
Just picturing Jack's moving day. She has no concept of time, due to arthritis of the bum hole. She wakes up at precisely 6.15. Gently, softly leaves yestetdays clothes on, gets the cat out of bed and calls her son in from outside. Smartprice wheat bisks for the cat, and smartprice dog food for the child. She then looks at her 47 boxes of books, that take up the annex in her mansion, adoringly.
Jack sits down on the edge of her bed at 9.15 to put her doc martens on, it is now 1400. The doorbell has been rung by the removal firm, who have come and gone. They shall not return. A note attached with a Swiss army style knife to the door reads "thanks for all that you HAVEN'T done"
This is a disaster, our Smol vertically challenged five foot seven pixie absolutely, positively, has to be out TODAY. A call to her the rapist, and an unfortunately typed space later she informs her child and household pets, including the dead ones they must move her tit. For her mouth crumbles, her arm is ouchy her lovesense vibrator has fallen out.
Oh crumbs.
Absolutely
at this. Hahaha. Possibly my favourite post in all this malarkey I’ve ever read 
hate to disagree but I used to live a couple of train stops south of Dundee and I saw them. They were pretty chill but I count it! If I really desperately needed to see them properly I’d head to Iceland.
1. How would she know? Seems unethical of the governing body to have in one day told both her and the therapist.
2. MIL?? Who is her mother in law?
So pretending to fulfil her obligations once in over two years cost her how much? And even if her admin assistant wasn't furloughed wasn't that at least 2 years ago? She needs to have another look at that bullshit timeline.
2011-2013 povs fault
2013-2020 alcohols fault
2020-2022 my admin assistant who LEFT me 's fault
2023 - trolls?
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Look at the time! I promised myself I was going to read my actual book tonight and instead I'm laughing at the Jack Monroellercoaster for being butt hurt about getting her imaginary friend's feelings hurt. It's like binge watching a terribly unbelievable sitcom. So bad, it's funny. And on a school night. I blame you, Jack, if I end up dino napping tomorrow instead of working.
I think she's talking about SB's Dad's Mum.
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