Jack Monroe #460 Foghorn Beghorn

[FrumpyCat]

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Plucky single mum Jack emerges humbly from the ashes. Just her and her little lad against the world. She has done it all for her lil boy who most definitely lives with her

next a made up a story about having an indoor picnic probably under a table with a blanket over it to form a makeshift tent where they ate biscuits drank squash and played games as they chortled away.I

No, sorry. The table LEFT.

 

[Lucky Escape]

and if one wanted to where would one go see the meteors oh tender one?

Anywhere more than a mile from a town or maybe 5 miles from a big city should be fine, to be honest. There are special dark sky reserves dotted around the place, and national parks would be good too. Ideally somewhere fairly south so the sun sets earlier... but you can only really manage an hour or two of meteor watching at a time, anyway. Bring hot drinks and wrap up warmer than you think you'll need to!

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

I have finally caught up. And found my aneurysm. It’s very petty in the scheme of all things Jack, but sweet Jesus, her porridge recipes. All of them. Stupid amounts of liquid. Makes me feel unwell.

 

[MooBelle]

Ah, lovely. The return of the performative Narc tweeting into the void.
This is (probably) what happened

SB came for his usual Tuesday visit with the dog. Jack took a picture of the dog next to her on the sofa to post this evening.
SB returned home and something was said at pick up that set her off. Or something has been texted to her today that set her off. She's been mulling on it and added to the binfire that is Grifty Kitchen she's kicked off.
Maybe she's said something about going away and SB has said he doesn't want to go. Or she's said she wants to have him more days in the week and his dad has politely suggested she take him for the weekend.
Her Narc little brain has gone into overdrive. We often think it is us her tweets are directed towards but it also usually is directed at someone irl that has pissed her off.
Personally I would say that SB's dad has said he can't come over on X date because he's taking him away. She's gone into overdrive and is now ranting on twitter, but her anger directed at his dad (or A.N.Other)

I WILL TAKE MY SON WHO LIVES WITH ME ON THE BEST CAMPING ADVENTURE TO SEE UNICORNS AND BECAUSE HE DEFINITELY LIVES WITH ME IT WILL BE THE BEST EVER ADVENTURE IN THE WORLD EVER.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Do you think she even remembers that she wrote the same tit 6 months ago? Seriously?

 

[Charitas]

Sidenote, that Fresh Mob book is ace! Comfort Mob is also really good, and they have loads of pretty accessible free recipes on their website. I don’t suppose Jack would like them; they’ve got and managed not to duck up a supermarket partnership (with Aldi) and “stole” her leftovers gig with Hellmans by actually being competent cooks.

I have to say a huge thanks to the frau who recommended them. Got their first book on kindle unlimited and already made and loved falafel and baked sweet potato with black bean chilli and guacamole. They must have bigger hands than me as I ended up with nearly 30 falafel when recipe was for 20

 

[hiyaaaacath]

On a serious note, I really hope SB doesn’t read todays bullshit and get his hopes up. We all remember the multiple summer holidays promised with her “stop drinking fund”. Never materialised.

 

[katycat]

Hang on a minute. They're going wild camping....but she's asked for recommendations on places to stay? Is she really expecting people to respond with coordinates/ w3w of particularly scenic patches of fields/moors/mountains, or is she a bit confused about what wild camping actually is?

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Do you think she even remembers that she wrote the same tit 6 months ago? Seriously?

I don’t think so, she can barely seem to remember what she said yesterday half the time never mind 6 months ago.

 

[MissMarple10]

I live in Northern Scotland, can’t say where obvs

 

[Justacatindisguise]

I don't see this book being advertised as veggie or vegan though. Maybe one of her other books is

Whoopsie my lil ADHD puppy brain phrased this clumsily It's not and I was just nosing since it was free on prime, but the 'veg' section got my hopes up a bit lol. The recipes look quite nice but idk what her editor was doing with the layout.

 

[Veronicaaa]

On a serious note, I really hope SB doesn’t read todays bullshit and get his hopes up. We all remember the multiple summer holidays promised with her “stop drinking fund”. Never materialised.

The stop drinking fund was so awful because if she fell off the wagon, it would be him who lost his holiday. She's so gross. Remember how she put an AA token on his pillow or similar? This is the worst Jack.

I don't want to merail but she always reminds me of my narc gran when she does this. She (my gran) was always promising us simple stuff which never materialised during our summer holidays, and we'd never learn. Every year me and my sister get excited about ~whatever~, and every year she'd be promising it the day after and the day after, and even on our second-last day of visiting she'd say we'd do it tomorrow, and on our last day there she'd say we'd do it the next year. We (me and my sister) had it easy compared to the kind of nastiness she'd dole out to my mum but it's still such a crappy way to treat children.

 

[DragonBoy]

Wild camping in winter? In Scotland? With arthritis? With a massive dog? With a 12 year old?



Without a car?


Tool.

This made me think of this:
Baldrick: “Hire you a horse? For ninepence? On Jewish New Year in the rain? A bare fortnight after the dreaded horse plague of Old London Town? With the blacksmith's strike in its 15th week and the Dorset Horse Fetishist's Fair tomorrow?”

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Do you think she even remembers that she wrote the same tit 6 months ago? Seriously?

MONTHS? Generous. 6 tweets ago is a struggle

 

[Hold my beans]

Sleeping on a sofa for no reason whatsoever.

I can smell it from here. Change the sheet, Jack

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

If Jack is going wild camping then at least she will be used to shitting in a bag!

 

[Yer_wha?!]

What an absolute twit, jolly japes "Enid Blyton" Jack just winds me up. Your son has wanted to do this for YEARS has he? The ship has sailed, you blew it, you bleeping selfish, lazy narcissistic c*nt

Even camping on an actual camp site designed for it takes up a car boot full of stuff for a couple of nights. You won't be going "wild camping" anywhere with a tent, supplies, a dog (including dog food) sleeping bags etc anywhere apart from the garden in your new forever home, you absolute card carrying fantasist

On a serious note, I really hope SB doesn’t read todays bullshit and get his hopes up. We all remember the multiple summer holidays promised with her “stop drinking fund”. Never materialised.

And it was only half the money she was spending on booze that she was putting into her iron curtained special savings account- her son wasn't worth all of it? What a horrible, horrible woman

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Anywhere more than a mile from a town or maybe 5 miles from a big city should be fine, to be honest. There are special dark sky reserves dotted around the place, and national parks would be good too. Ideally somewhere fairly south so the sun sets earlier... but you can only really manage an hour or two of meteor watching at a time, anyway. Bring hot drinks and wrap up warmer than you think you'll need to!

I’m super relieved for you that you escaped the clutches of a mental narc with a coke nose and unruly labia, but I’m sad for SB that he doesn’t get a stepdad who knows extremely cool stuff.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Excuse me, its absolutely vital forensic research, how would one sleep on a pretend sofa in a pretend rented 1 bed flat if one hadn’t practiced pretending to sleep on a sofa in a real life bungalow with stairs? Go well.

I see the sheet has disappeared from the sofa in today’s tweet.
must be bed sofa sheet change day.

 

[Sensible Susan]

Littler is a stupid word you giant whelksplat and he doesn't live with you. HTH.

I think it's quite sinister tbh, every tweet appeals to a different target audience. Littler, talky show, hurty, ouchy - vewy ickle girly. Only a certain type attracted to that tit