Jack Monroe #459 That westboro baptist church penis wig will haunt her forever

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Her landlord is Daddy "Don't mess it up, princess". The convenant bollocks is probably just his ground rules.

Also, I wonder if the new home will be purchased through a shell company? Makes you think.
When did Dirty Den tip up, Prince6?
 
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I won’t lie Ninnies, I’m struggling to keep up with our coke addled prat atm, if you’re reading this Jack then spare a thought for the grunkers and take a day off plz thankspaceyou.
Anyway, my sister got some FANCY chocolate mooses from Tesco and I ended up sitting on the sofa laughing and pointing at mine because it made me think of you lot.
She looked concerned until I explained it. Then she looked slightly less concerned.

Am I big Dave?!
 
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His LinkedIn says he’s MBACP, in which case he probably ought to read their social media guidance, cos he seems to be breaking quite a few bits of it https://www.bacp.co.uk/membership/membership-policies/social-media/
 
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Swiss army knives almost always have a tin opener blade, designed to be hooked over the rim to give leverage. If she meant one of those, there'd have been no need for a mallet.

Conclusion: she's lying.

ETA:
Jack lying? Never!!
Also - if she's really used a Swiss Army knife as the knife to open the can she's even more stupid than previously thought.
Nah, she's lying.
 
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Now Jack, come on. You cannot expect us to believe that the only proven to know and spend ANY time with you in real life friend you have - Spaniel Friend - would just jump to a random conclusion that you have bought a place and congratulate you on said "first buy" on Twitter. Please credit us with one single shred of intelligence.

Chapeau this thread, ninnies. I have hooted my way through from the title to the posts throughout.
 
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When did Dirty Den tip up, Princess.
When oh when x
.
Too short apparently must be approx 5 ft 1.7 feet. I mean I'm 5 ft 1 so, much shorter. I'm short, but have also been described as dumpy by a friend of Mr FF. Isn't that a charming description x
 
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She did claim once she'd had a car, didn't she? It was probably a lie, although she always says "doesn't drive" rather than "can't drive".
 
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May I mither back to this;



She had therapy because she gave her son basic range cereal?

So brave of her to overcome this trauma and now have enough money to buy high-end furniture.

Can you even imagine being cold & eating smart price food? What absurd patronising crap, and also just shows how brief (if at all) her experience of poverty was.

How insulting to anyone she claims to speak for.
 
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And err, the fact that she claims to still feed him on basics now. We all remember the soggy little cream cheese and carrot sandwiches and 10g weight corn snack bags she was giving him for lunch a year or two back. Can only hope that's not what he actually gets!
 
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"Tonight Matthew, I'm performing as Shirley from Eastenders going through a goth phase."
Small Boy says "you're not my mother" Kat Jack says "yes I am " x
I left off watching EE about 20 years ago x
When Roley and Little Willie were deceased
 
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Could put a caravan there!
 
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No tomatoes for your lover on OUR drive.
 
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