NOT Puttanesca!Mama Mia, her puttanesca recipe is shit!! I can picture her doing it on This Morning and Gino having some kind of breakdown
Jack, you wanted to talk about the recipes, yeah? Well maybe let’s talk about why you think it’s necessary to put sardines that are already cooked, into 600ml of liquid and then cook for 30 mins? Why, also, would you use x2 tins of sardines, when you could use the stronger saltier (and correct for a cultural recipe!!!) flavour of x1 tin of chopped anchovies that are sold in Sainsbury’s for 90p a tin? You’re not saving money, because you’re using x2 of the alternative.
If you’re being thrifty, why would you have the gas on for 30 mins when 10-15 would suffice? Oh, wait, I know the answer! It’s because you’ve used way too much liquid (600ml) and need to reduce down the unnecessary volume
Why is your puttanesca devoid of any of the things that would give a depth of flavour? It’s supposed to be cooked with onions and garlic, with parsley added at the end. All we seem to have here, is mashedfish boiled into tinned tomatoes for half an hour.
Puttanesca is supposed to strike a lovely balance between being rich in flavour, but light and fresh, salty, with pops of zing here and there. Why am I cooking pre-cooked, mashed sardines for so long? Won’t the sauce just become a slop? Apologise to the whores of Naples, now! WARNED.
PS, after your bread and jam bullshit in the ice cream recipe, you could have at least treated us to a history of puttanesca (whore’s sauce) and how it ties in with your definitely not made up experience of being a sex worker. Missed an opportunity to talk about yourself there pal.
https://giphy.com/4H1xauOflBDHY4sUah View attachment 1870622
I’m surprised she didn’t have the dirty, undercooked batter crusted chopstick she used to poke holes in the crumpets just sloppily laying on a plate in the background.@Sweetpea was asking for the marmite crumpet recipe on the slopalong thread (sorry, don’t know how to link).
See, I thought the yellower ice cream looked like Walls. I'm sure it can't be though. I'm sure Jack makes everything that Pat Niven photographs.Not only does the stuff in the bowl look like margarine; that scoop has seen better days.
Is it not a dead bird?Oh the old insta is strangely prophetic...
DENIAL by Jack Monroe.
NB that can't be Jack's bread dough! Her's is almost as slack as her work ethic...
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Shan’tI know her recipe is absolute garbage, but the puttanesca gatekeepers here need to learn the actual boring origin of it instead of promoting the silly myth. It's only been around about 50 years too
https://giphy.com/7yoAIR7CdWOUEFraus, meet Bob. He had a Twitter spat with Nadine Dorries the other day when she belittled him as he only had 15 followers. It backfired on Nadine and now he has over 30k and is endorsing Jack.
Bob, you are off my Christmas card list
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I shall Gently and tenderly and with generous handfuls, head to slopalong.@Sweetpea was asking for the marmite crumpet recipe on the slopalong thread (sorry, don’t know how to link).
Its not bread dough, it’s a dead bird.Oh the old insta is strangely prophetic...
DENIAL by Jack Monroe.
NB that can't be Jack's bread dough! Her's is almost as slack as her work ethic...
View attachment 1870673
I dreamt I was with Jack last night and we were doing someI've been off the PCD group since someone posted Awfully Mollys blog to ask what people think and all the stans came out. Is it safe now?
I dreamt my Mum was in a relationship with Sali Hughes last night and I had to try to explain what a grifter was. I only know her from this thread so I guess it could have been worse.
I also recently had a dream where I was staying in an Irish waterpark and Eve H was my landlady. I kept hearing her telling other guests ludicrous claims like "Jack is the first girl ever to wear trousers!! Jack is a world renowned punk' and I couldn't stand it so I started passive-aggressively saying stuff like "actually I've worn trousers before".
Eve was like, yeah I know she's a dick but she's my daughter and please don't say anything if you cant say anything nice. I felt really bad and came back home only to find out I was doing a PHD in food tech and Jack was my lecturer who was doing a series on how to boil eggs. I still felt bad so I started defending her and when I woke up I left tattle for a bit. It took me ages to grunk to where I am now so NEVER AGAIN.
Anyway, anyone think the coin thing was a deliberate way to bury the financial stuff and the deathbook? Money + lies + easily disproven? Or just Jack being Jack?
Can you put 'coin' where gak used to be please 🥹New thread made in honour of @fishyfishfish
Slightly edited to remove 'Gak' as it's slang for Drugs I didn't think a tread title would be the best place to accuse JM of being Drug Addled.
Please forgive and shoot me at Dawn
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Recap wise...
Holy Moley Baths Of Cash..
And she wants to talk about anything but the bath.. begging to talk about the Recipes which in fairly sure are sloppy seconds from other places and her own books.
Mod edit:
Let’s leave the court outfits posts in the old thread please. Thanks
Maybe we've finally uncovered what happened to the missing chicken in the LINGREENIEIf we’re talking about the recipes, Jack, I’d like to know why you think it’s OK to call a recipe “chicken”-something when there’s no actual chicken in it, just a chicken stock cube. (And as stock cubes only contain a minuscule amount of chicken, 4% if you’re lucky, this hardly counts once it’s incorporated into a dish). For example, the “chicken & cannellini soup”. And I think the “chicken porridge” just has a stock cube too.
It just seems a bit deceptive to me.
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