Jack Monroe #458 This addled lie factory is on another level

[SmillieKylie]

I think what really happened with Jack’s poverty circumstances in 2011-13 is she went slightly overdrawn one day in that period, did a big sad, popped into the local food bank on the way home to chat to a friend who worked there, picked up a couple of tins and then trudged forlornly home. The next day Big D sent her a large wad of cash as she was still doing a sad and all was well again.

Suddenly though Jack hit on the idea that as she was a poor for a day she would write about how awful it was being a poor and as she is a fantasist with an unlimited ability to exaggerate that day turned into three years of poverty. There began a life of poverty cosplay, one day a poor, always a poor in Jack’s world.

Let’s face it my version of events is just as likely as any of hers

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Her " busy with offers" thing makes me think of being 16 and splitting up with a boyfriend, and telling them how I was out all the time and too busy to miss them, when the reality was I was sitting at home watching "Dallas" with my parents

 

[Nurseali]

I don't know if I am cumin or going with this thread


I will see myself out

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Maths...

Ok so..

It looks to me like there are 107 recipes you could loosely call "Meals", and by loosely I mean one of them is Cut up radishes and 3 dips.. you know, that food those in poverty really need to fill them up... Cut up radishes and fucking Humous.

Then there are over 24 other recipes that I'll just call "Padding" it's designed to fill the book, not the bellies of those in poverty.

Stocks and ice cube trays filled with mushy peas and gravy that likely looks like it was freshly collected from the rear end of the neighbours Llama.

Hopefully this video will show what I mean.

 

[AyiaKnacker]

Fraus, at severe risk to my marriage I showed my Neapolitan adjacent (but better not be whore adjacent) Haroldo the sex worker sauce recipe. He didn‘t say a word whilst reading, just emitted strangled gasps of horror, coupled with a variety of increasingly agitated hand gestures. He was FEWMIN. After a moment’s pause, he decided, as did a previous ninny that you’d be better off getting a jar of Dolmio. I can only underscore the revulsion he must feel for this recipe by saying not once in 28 years together has he allowed a single jar of readymade pasta sauce cross our threshold. WARNED.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Her owning the haterz chat is having the opposite effect these days - it's just creating more haterz. I've seen threads in the past couple of days from people who had the best will in the world towards her, who cannot believe the way she's going on after that Guardian article. The lack of any remorse or accountability and the increased TOOT TOOT of it all is turning people off, massively.

Sorry to quote myself but this is one example, on a thread about her back story not making much sense, which they only really realised after the guardian interview.

 

[Fitnessqueen]

I know it's been mentioned on here before but her 2011-2013 POVERTY timeline isn't very evident on her old Insta account. There's a photography exhibition, 2 kittens, various cakes in October 2012, a very healthy looking SB eating bread and jam in September 2012, a holiday cottage in August 2013 with another picture of a healthy looking SB tucking into pasta..... But (in her own words, there are receipts) she was also living without lightbulbs or heating for those two years

 

[MoistenedGussets]

New thread made in honour of @fishyfishfish

Slightly edited to remove 'Gak' as it's slang for Drugs I didn't think a tread title would be the best place to accuse JM of being Drug Addled.

Please forgive and shoot me at Dawn

Recap wise...

Holy Moley Baths Of Cash..

And she wants to talk about anything but the bath.. begging to talk about the Recipes which in fairly sure are sloppy seconds from other places and her own books.

Mod edit:
Let’s leave the court outfits posts in the old thread please. Thanks

 

[reluctant_pumble]

I liked the pure condescension when she defined "proselytising" in the introduction. Just in case you don't have a degree like her.

ETA "Make a well (a kind of a hole)" vibes.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Mama Mia, her puttanesca recipe is shit!! I can picture her doing it on This Morning and Gino having some kind of breakdown

Jack, you wanted to talk about the recipes, yeah? Well maybe let’s talk about why you think it’s necessary to put sardines that are already cooked, into 600ml of liquid and then cook for 30 mins? Why, also, would you use x2 tins of sardines, when you could use the stronger saltier (and correct for a cultural recipe!!!) flavour of x1 tin of chopped anchovies that are sold in Sainsbury’s for 90p a tin? You’re not saving money, because you’re using x2 of the alternative.

If you’re being thrifty, why would you have the gas on for 30 mins when 10-15 would suffice? Oh, wait, I know the answer! It’s because you’ve used way too much liquid (600ml) and need to reduce down the unnecessary volume

Why is your puttanesca devoid of any of the things that would give a depth of flavour? It’s supposed to be cooked with onions and garlic, with parsley added at the end. All we seem to have here, is mashed fish boiled into tinned tomatoes for half an hour.

Puttanesca is supposed to strike a lovely balance between being rich in flavour, but light and fresh, salty, with pops of zing here and there. Why am I cooking pre-cooked, mashed sardines for so long? Won’t the sauce just become a slop? Apologise to the whores of Naples, now! WARNED.

PS, after your bread and jam bullshit in the ice cream recipe, you could have at least treated us to a history of puttanesca (whore’s sauce) and how it ties in with your definitely not made up experience of being a sex worker. Missed an opportunity to talk about yourself there pal.



View attachment 1870622

Other issues a standard puttanesca uses 5 anchovy fillets (53p a tin with approx 15-20 in at Aldi vs 49p for a tin of sardines at Aldi and she uses two tins), she doesn’t drain the sardines so incredibly oily plus more costly than proper.

Says use any olives, for puttanesca black are best - since cost the same why no guidance to those new to the recipe?

No garlic, onions or capers which are base flavour of original.

Bizarelly adds lemon juice or any vinegar (so cut through the oil???) which are just additional strong flavours no puttanesca would have and additional ingredients to find. Maybe trying to replace the capers?

Adds random 200ml of stock, no puttanesca recipe does this just makes it very wet - may be an attempt to add flavour - doesn’t matter what flavour it seems (“vegetable, fish or chicken stock”)

Very long and expensive cooking times compared to original as non of ingredients actually need additional cooking other than pasta. Maybe an attempt to burn off the excess liquid.

No chilli flakes as per normal puttanesca. So no onion, capers, garlic or chilli but a lot of oil mixed with potentially green olives and malt vinegar.

You really would be better off buying a ready pasta sauce and adding sardines.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Just been looking at RecipeTinEats as I’m a huge fan of Nagi (I think I may have been introduced to her by Tattle) and she has a book out (which is, alas, not yet available to order in the UK ) but I was so struck by this section of the page where she’s talking about the book and the recipe testing process:

Like this is exactly the kind of shit Jack is claiming she does but very clearly doesn’t, else Andy Lynes would have much less to be absolutely scathing about.

All over Nagi’s socials she was talking about writing and testing for months, years even, and then when people complained about a staggered release in the US and something about not getting a bonus recipe blah blah, she ended up releasing an additional free ebook.

And obv I can’t comment on the book because it’s not available here but I’ve used like 20 of her recipes [FREE! thank you for all you do etc] and nothing has ever gone wrong with them? So I absolutely trust her. Oh, and all profits from the book fund the foodbank and kitchen Nagi runs.

This is what Jack’s mental middle class FBPE fans think she’s doing while she’s off her tits on trammies and sideboards.

 

[Lucky Escape]

I'm sorry if this has been posted before but...
View attachment 1871773
this sort of comment really irks me. Jack is not a representative of neurodiversity. She is a shameless lying fraud.
Simon is a fool.

In a similar vein:

Is it really so inhuman to be annoyed by a boring old coke hag on the grift?

 

[fishyfishfish]

So after those bots spew out some her recipes, she wants to talk about them. I smell something fishy...

you called?

Thank you for picking up my slack after the chaos, @MoistenedGussets

I cannot believe we're only TEN days in to the year and we've already had (in no particular order):
MUA chaos/coin chaos
Recipe bot chaos
Andy chaos
Spaniel friend chaos (congratulating Jack on her first 'buy' for those who missed it)
Drinking/Patreon money timeline chaos
Metro, Graun, Spiked, Daily Mail & Times articles - plus a load of 'Pan Mac/TT pulled this book because it's dangerous' click pieces
Tramadol chaos
Degree chaos
Pub interview/it was snowing chaos
Knife/tin & opener chaos (honorable mention to carabiner chaos)

I'm sure I've missed a few, but no wonder Jack hasn't been able to work on the VBI.... she's certainly been busy!

 

[Jelly Bean]

Oh yes, you'd probably be fine with a recipe that anyone other than Jack came up with. She does things with food that are hard to understand and frequently distressing.

Yes this quote from Andy Lyne's blog really sums this up perfectly. Nail. On. Head.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Can I just say, I've looked at a lot of recipes today... Not a one I've wanted to make..

Here is the greatest recipe of the day:

 

[jf99]

Coming from the last thread.....FUCKING HELL....this is absolutely DIRE

Jack Monroe's easy sardinesca recipe | Metro News

Everything about it is wrong! Most puttanesca recipes will suggest a few anchovy fillets (maybe 3-5). She's putting in TWO WHOLE TINS OF SARDINES. And then suggests cooking it in FUCKING FISH STOCK.

It doesn't need the stock and it doesn't need that many tomatos! And if it does then its going to need a LOT more than 2 tablespoons of olives to balance the flavour! And of course she doesn't include any chilli in it at all.

You can pretty much cook puttanesca in around 10 minutes...the sauce can be near enough cooked in as long as it takes the pasta to cook.

This shit takes 30 FUCKING MINUTES to cook.

SHE HAS TAKEN A RECIPE WHICH IS ACTUALLY THRIFTY AND MADE IT MORE EXPENSIVE.

FUCKING HELL.

I think i've had an aneurysm.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Just to repost the tin of chicken soup with oats and turmeric, Is this tiled background is one of Jack’s floor shots? If so she took this one genuflecting in gratitude that her agonizingly ouchy tramadol suffused arthritic smol body could get down onto the floor to take the pic

(She literally does take food pics sprawled on the manky floors before you think I’m making it up. @Silver Linings immortalized this one)

Also, hello Cotswold Company Chester Dove Grey Open Shoe Storage Bench (delivered fully assembled), £369! As also seen in bathroom and in FORENSIC stocktake

 

[Jelly Bean]

Bags for life aside, another thought occurs to me. It's been decades since I've had to but on the very rare occasions when I needed parental assistance they just gave me cashos and trusted I would spend it on what I needed. I wonder why Big Dave 'n' Eve didn't do the same with Jack. Really makes you think.

2 bags for life? Stingey bastards - in one of her alternative version of events she went to a foodbank after a suicide attempt and they gave her two BINBAGS of food.
Speaking of foodbanks I know a lot of us are now wary of the Trussell Trust due to Jack's involvement which tarnishes everything, but honestly someone should take a close look at what is going on shouldn't they? (This tweet is nothing to do with Jack).

 

[Katkat]

I can’t believe with given everything she does share on the hellsite she wouldn’t have smugly shown these off before posting in detail to get slaps on the back for doing what she’s been paid to do!

also those comments by the journalist and patreon backers makes me wonder why all of us are working so hard to earn a good and honest living.
And no she’s not a good advocate for neurodiversity either - I see them every day in the kids struggling at school and their parents fighting for them. Makes me so angry

Her ASD bollocks is so offensive. I know I’m not the only one here with children on the spectrum and it’s a battle everyday. I’m a little teary today as my daughters EHCP has finally been granted, it’s been a long road! Solidarity fellow parents