Jack Monroe #445 A criminal, liar, fraud, grifter and all round heartless asshole
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Yes, the “it’s an aubergine recipe Susan” -class response should be deployed more often.
Hope you’ve all had a good Christmas break( hugs to you @Brian Butterfield).
I’ve been dipping in and out over the past few days and my initial reflections are a mix of a) she’s so hateful and insufferable still; b) her Grifty Grift-in book is so much worse than feared—I didn’t believe it would need a health warning for anything other than gastric distress, but here we are, days from publication
; and c) as ever, her poor poor child.She is utterly disgraceful as a human, a grifter and a parent.
Who is TD ? I’ve worked everything else out but this eludes me. I automatically think Tom Daley…
Just thinking about the knife/ mallet /finger amputation scenario. My next door neighbour occasionally gave her husband Goblin tinned beef burgers. 
Her butterfly tin opener couldn't open them. I had an electric tin opener (crumbly hand bones). So she used to bring me the tin to open. I'm sure any decent neighbours would rather spend 10 seconds opening a tin for someone than watch them being blue lighted to hospital. I know not everyone has good neighbours but it makes you think.
Her butterfly tin opener couldn't open them. I had an electric tin opener (crumbly hand bones). So she used to bring me the tin to open. I'm sure any decent neighbours would rather spend 10 seconds opening a tin for someone than watch them being blue lighted to hospital. I know not everyone has good neighbours but it makes you think.
Ok, Fully grunked. I’m going to invoice Monroe for my time cos that was dull.
For anyone not caught up: TLDR: Monroe thinks that “wearing a hat” is a personality and would like us to all simultaneously LEAVE her alone and LOOK at her tits.
For anyone not caught up: TLDR: Monroe thinks that “wearing a hat” is a personality and would like us to all simultaneously LEAVE her alone and LOOK at her tits.
Trifle Defender/TD - a cookery writer who called Jack out in 2020 over Jack's shaming of perfectly lovely looking trifles. Generally a voice of reason. As early as 2015 she was attempting to advise Jack as to how to handle herself online, advice which fell on very deaf ears!
Taken from the wiki above, under dramatis personae
I keep trying to look at this from the point of view of someone who hasn't been following Jack or any of the questions around honesty and I have to say I'd be baffled as to what she is going on about. Even the accounts the constantly pop up aren't being abusive towards her, though I can see why she'd feel harassed to a degree by them. However there aren't that many and they're easy enough to block or mute. The two most recent times Jack went viral (rinsed hoops & dire potatoes) the traffic was largely driven by people who just thought it was funny and weren't major anti-Jack accounts. We know she's talking about us when she's fantasising about people trying to kill her but if you weren't aware of Tattle you'd be puzzled.
At least its not her unruly labia
Like the time Nigel slater kicked back at someone asking if there was an alternative to pineapple or something that was the main recipe ingredient… and he said no it’s a pineapple recipe
More JacksHacks...
If you don't have a 80p sieve, strain your pasta through a bike helmet. I'm a bit lazy so I don't bother to clean mine first , I find the dandruff flakes act as a thrifty substitute for parmesan, so that's a two for one saving!
In a pinch, you can mash potatoes with a hammer - I know it sounds crazy but I've tried!
One day while cooking for Mary Portas, I ran out of oil (not olive oil, that stuff is rancid) so I popped a bit of WD40 in the pan instead. Worked a treat!
If you don't have a 80p sieve, strain your pasta through a bike helmet. I'm a bit lazy so I don't bother to clean mine first , I find the dandruff flakes act as a thrifty substitute for parmesan, so that's a two for one saving!
In a pinch, you can mash potatoes with a hammer - I know it sounds crazy but I've tried!
One day while cooking for Mary Portas, I ran out of oil (not olive oil, that stuff is rancid) so I popped a bit of WD40 in the pan instead. Worked a treat!
The only way to achieve what Jack proposes is for users to be able to block individual IP address (this lie that influencers spread explained here) , which are often shared or less than static, and would potentially mean “innocent” tweeters were also blocked. Any troll worth their salt will be using a VPN that varies the IP address anyway.
I’m not a big fan of the blocking feature anyway — if someone disagrees with me then I don’t need to absolutely ban them from saying so. I suppose Jack will say she gets lots and lots of negative messages, but I often see people claim they’re getting “abuse” or “harassment” when a search suggests they’re getting “questions” and “called out on bullsh*t.”
At least it is better to be able to block more, than for Twitter to ban people entirely who don’t have the “right” views. I’m not an Elon fan but he has that part right.
Going back to the thread to Elon. This cutesy gif just seems so twee to post when she’s saying she’s genuinely afraid
Too early for thread title nom?
I use a jackhammer for cakes. Particularly pear ones.
100% agree.......most people are on dynamic IP addresses anyway as I doubt all her "trolls" have invested in a fixed IP weapons grade connection. The fuss over your man from Steps using some sort of bot blocker has proved that its doesn't work as it's just blocked swathes of IP addresses. I'm sure I read somewhere that she reckoned she was an expert tracking people down through their digital footprint anyway........
That made me think of the pretend steering wheels for toddlers.
TOOT TOOT!Jack's special kitchen at Blackfoot.That made me think of the pretend steering wheels for toddlers.
Based on her advice, thats how I will be opening my next can of bier
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