Jack Monroe #440 Gently navigating the hinterland of plagiarism

[definitelynotvlad]

Our house flooded last week so we’re currently living in air bnb’s, unfortunately living in a tourist area means it’s hard to get a long term booking at this time of year cos loads of people want to come for a scenic Christmas, so we’re basically moving house every week until mid-Jan. Since I think that makes me safe from triangulation (CONFIRMED), I might start making all kinds of nefarious #TROLLCLAIMS. Ahem, did you all know Jacks the reason Neighbours got cancelled? she’s also the reason Freddo’s now cost 25p.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Hi all!
I had a break from Jack (and life - had a breakdown in the summer and only just getting back on my feet) but I've just checked back in here and had to explain to Mr Traazers who Jack is and why I detest her (he's new although I've known him for 15 years) and I started with the "cacio e pepe" she produced and thought I'd share his reactions with you:
"What?"
"What the fuck is this?"
"WHAT"
me: "I know, and she claims to be a food blogger"
"she isn't a food blogger, she's a food excecutioner"

Also, I really need to catch up on everything but I do not have the time to grunk from June onwards, could anyone recommend their favourite threads/chaoses since then?
ETA best search terms would be
Turkish Barber
Wednesday

Alright Traaaazzzers, hope you weren’t “on a bird” whilst you were away, or old Chief will have a duck egg.

The Daily Mail ran the Awfully Molly “twitter spat” so the cancellation began. She went to Glasgow in smelly old clothes, she went to Edinburgh Book Fest and was slurring all over the place and telling unlikely stories about weighing MSG power on scales when the PoPo came round. Then she failed to do some stuff, did a big ££££ Google event where she got giddy, posted up skirt thot shots and recorded herself singing “BOULEVAAARD” IDK I couldn’t bear to watch or listen. Her agent is now Adrien, not Rosemary. We’re not sure if She LEFT.

eta in the last 4 weeks she’s had a man haircut from a Turkish barber, a fake Wednesday Addams look and this week she’s trying to be Peaky Blinders again.

 

[MavisBeacon]

£1650 for a spacious 3 bed in a nice area in the Southeast with a garden and outhouses, close to the sea and a station seems pretty good to me.

 

[shugabug23]

If I’m not allowed to SS her, please tell me to fuck off x

I just know that some Frau have no access/ inclination with Twitter to see the shit show

 

[Muttley]

Brilliant. She's getting angry

and delusional.

Who does she think she is? Whitney Houston?

 

[Country Bumpkin]

I've never known someone who loves themselves so much

 

[reCAPTCHA]

Oh Jackie; trust me, if people are stupid enough to pay 2 years of Patreon subscriptions for absolutely *checks notes* fuck all in return, they are almost certainly going to snap up that lovely spacious house of yours for circa £1.5k per month.

Why is she like this? 🫣

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Anyone would think she was a Tory.

So many of her supporters seem to believe she's living in some hovel, cooking over a lone candle. The reality is all there, in plain sight, but they simply cannot see.

Even back in what, 2017/2018, when I briefly followed Jack it took only about a dozen tweets until I was all eh? about her. I remember saying to Mr Mabel that she put me very much in mind of those people at school, aged 15/16, who had all these dramatic incidents, that never quite made sense.

The difference between then and now is we seem to have less slop content and more lurching from one Facetuned picture to the next. Yet still they clap, cheer and throw cashos.

This housing shit is old school/OG Jack. It was this that first made me thing what a fucking whinger - she’s had the immense privilege of remote and lbr low input hours work with no commute and related costs for a decade and yet has nothing to show for it? Remote and flexible working has been transformative to so many ppl but especially working mothers and yet she’s still here in 2022/3 eve whinging about her rent?

Also how much does she think accommodation is these days? It’s fucking expensive that’s the entire problem hun. The market is fucked beyond repair because of speculators and hoarders like her family, yes it’s a disgrace £1.5k gets you the bare minimum in the private rental market in the southeast but welcome to reality? Where have you been??

 

[gashlycrumbtiny]

I've never known someone who loves themselves so much

As someone who likely has some level of body dysmorphia, I can't stand taking pictures of myself and haven't taken a selfie in about 3 years (which was under duress for work purposes). I'm looking to get back onto online dating in the New Year and will probably have to take at least a couple of selfies and quite frankly I'd rather stick pins in my eyes. If only I could borrow some of Jack's narcissism and lack of shame I'd be laughing

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

I think it was aimed at us. Obviously anyone who spots that Jack is an awful grifter has never done a sex with another person. It's basically Jack doing the old sexist trope that gets aimed at women all the time that if you're not a beaming Stepford wife then you're a bitter dried up old hag. One of my online past times is at these mask slips from utter frauds who claim to be progressive.

It was aimed as us because it followed a period where tweets were constantly well past midnight and into the morning and we suspected it was snowing in Southend.
It was around the time where she asked Twitter something mad like “if I move a radiator will gas flow out of the wall?” or something along those lines.
This was at about 5am and when people replied with concern, telling her to put her phone down and go to sleep she claimed she was BUSY designing her future dream kitchen renovation with a “friend” which is you know, totally normal and stone cold sober behaviour for 5am on a Tuesday morning.

 

[jenny2603]

I’m thinking we rent it between us all. Then we turn the shitty bungalow into a Tattle clubhouse. We can have theme parties (Chapeau Party, anyone?), host live slopalongs, and have a rewatch marathon of Daily Kitchen where we yell stuff like at Rocky Horror screenings. Terrible!

Edit: damn, Dinosaur beat me too it!

Can we do fancy dress parties where we all come as different Jacks*


*Sex Jacks are NOT ALLOWED.

 

[Hollaaa]

Yeah I find the inexplicable egg space in the figures very suspect….
View attachment 1821060

Sorry if it's already been said but if arrangements have been made for a new place to the point where the household has been in training for some weird musical beds game for weeks if not months, surely notice has been given and therefore information about the new rent wouldn’t need to be conveyed?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Imagine it was a thing though and you were just minding your own business at home one day when all of a sudden the peace is shattered by Jack doing a big howl 'n' claw outside your home.

She'd never come here. For starters delivery drivers with our exact address can never find us, and secondly - I can't see middle class pearl clutcher Jack mingling amongst the Gypsy caravans . She'd scamper away faster than you can say Glastonbury dance tent.

 

[jenny2603]

This is worthy of Grift and Griftability!

It's making me hoot because I'm seeing her in her wig from the Grifty Kitchen cover and a generic olde worlde "beggar woman" costume.

"gis a bob for some shampoo"

 

[Emmapism]

Urgh those breadcrumby comments. No. Fuck off. No.

You've had so much time to sort this. Stop expecting other people to solve your problems and give you money you fucking shithouse.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Right! Let’s have a canal whip round and then the person with the best credit rating and the most flawless background can contact the estate agent and landlady and offer to rent the shitty bungalow for £1,651 pounds a month.

Then to really piss Jack off, they should pay the rent and not even bother to move in, for SPITE.

Ooh we could each pay £10 a month and make it into a gang hut/HQ/war room/holiday home for the canal!

 

[Lucky Escape]

SO DECENT, SO BIGOT, SUCH RACISM.

You go Jack! Support offensive pensioners!

View attachment 1821315

Deleted already, after someone else mentioned pensioner squig's unsavoury RTs.

 

[Kittypops]

If Jack's posted all the Patreon bundles out and if they're not received, it would be such a shame if she hadn't sent them 'signed for' or got a proof of posting slip.

Because then, she'd be liable to refund the recipient to the value of each missing parcel.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

ETA - or maybe one of those photo collages where they takes loads and loads of different pictures are placed to make a single face when you look at it from a distance. Wishing for super duper photo editing skills right about now

Squint really hard...

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

She’s fulfilled her patreon?