Ol' Nick himself wouldn't tolerate her tit. Can you imagine it
'Yes, thank you for coming to interview today, let's have a quick look around, shall we? Here we have the eternal immolation chamber'
'That's nothing, compared to when I COULDN'T PUT THE HEATING ON',
'OK, so there is being boiled in hot oil over there' 'I CHEWED MY OWN LIP DOWN TO THE NERVE',
' - Um, yes, quite. We've a thriving little centre for crushing the Damned under rocks and spearing with red hot pokers here -'
'I carried a 93kg sideboard and a three year with my bare hands AND I STOOD ON GLASS'
'Rightyho. Actually, how would you feel about having an outreach position within the organisation, no need to relocate that way, which might fit in more with your domestic responsibilities?'
'SHE. LEFT. SHE. LEFT. SHE. LEFT.'
'Ah. Could you give me a moment, please?' [Demonicom Mobile Service Ringtone and a voice like a Heavenly Bell says 'Yes?']
'Gabriel, Dear boy. How the Dev - how are you, old chap? Good. Yes, well, obviously you would be good. I'm in a bit of a pickle down here, would we possibly be able to arrange some sort of secondment for a candidate? Well, the thing is that our candidate seems well qualified, but they've got this amazing ability to be incredibly sanctimonious, patronising and, frankly, quite preachy, which I thought would be right up your CEO's street. We'd be happy to take say, Johnny Cash in exchange, as the music's getting a bit repetitive down here and you do already have Elvis and Roy Orbison and Karen Carpenter, amongst others. Oh, you've not got Elvis? Well, I never, I did wonder about that chap in the chipshop. Now we know. Hmmm. We theoretically could let you borrow Paganini, but he is due to give me my next lesson on Tuesday, so we'd need him back. Tell you what, if I throw in Robert Johnson for a couple of hundred years, they knock your Heavenly Hordes Choir into shape and we call it a deal? Marvellous.'
'Sorry about the delay. Right, we've found you a wonderful position on a cloud. I think the post will really, really suit your particular skillset and abilities, so if you'd like to step into the transportation pod, one of our Hellish Minions will take you to your new supervisor. Oh, the pleasure is all mine, have a nice Afterlife'