Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[Griftymcgriftface]

What’s moon app got to say?

While it's quiet and since the M&S advent has been rubbish, I've opened up Slopbot's grotto again for your seasonal gifts. Thanks to the forensic stocktaking work there are 35 new puddle gifts this year. Please enjoy!

I got a lovely sofa from my libel winnings

 

[Jelly Bean]

Oh I do hope she breaks cover tonight for the kickyball!

I would love some Jackommentary

Any Liverpool players playing?
I haven't got a clue but I presume Jack doesn't either.
That loving them was a strange interlude, even for her.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I don't even understand why someone would get an advent calendar for their 34 year old daughter??

My dad bought me one

 

[hoopdedoo]

Andy Lynes has said he's going to buy a copy and review it, seeing as no one seems to want to give him a review copy. I cannot wait to read it, as for buying the book I SHAN'T be going further than doing look inside on Amazon and perhaps downloading the free book for sneering purposes.

And for a new round of Slopalong-ing!

 

[Droosie123]

Surely Grift and Griftability has to be a contender for thread title, am sure someone suggested it further back.

 

[Yer_wha?!]

It shrivels my peelings that, in the description of Grifty Kitchen on Amazon, it still says that she's working on the Voracious Bum Infection.

I haven't dared look in case Amazon thinks I'm interested and she shows up on the home screen of the app from then on

 

[BlendedSlop]

Surely that article she was working on must be coming out soon? She put out the request ages ago.

View attachment 1791559

Didn't she change her email address to the "hellojackmonroe" one shortly after this? Any emails that went to the jackmonroediary one have probably softly, gently vanished into a void because she's lost the login details, just like she did with Patreon.

 

[Yer_wha?!]

Home hacks from fucking Stig of the Dump. Lol.

Windows made from jam jars (if you could afford it mummy, with the sixpence price increase, mummy) and a flue made from all the empty rinsed spaghetti hoops/baked bean tins

 

[Smellycat18]

Thanks for the duck eggs, Slopbot.

I will peruse our Jackie’s recipes for a delicious recipe to use them up.

Go well, pal.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Thanks for the duck eggs, Slopbot.

I will peruse our Jackie’s recipes for a delicious recipe to use them up.

Go well, pal.

View attachment 1793372

Ooh, I got the same! Shall we team up and make a giant Easter cake for everyone’s in-laws??

Thank you for our festive treats @traumatised sideboard

 

[Cookiecookie]

Having conducted a FORENSIC investigation, it appears to be a teacher planning to expose children to a nativity scene that has Jack in it. There ought to be law against it but the country is governed by irresponsible nitwits.

Eww. I hate how many of these people have infested the education system. And as for Jack being a 'recognisable figure', I highly doubt it!

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Perhaps she got the tattoo from a friendly Turkish man who didn't overcharge her or chat too much or serve her cups of hairy tea....

Do not want to consider Jack’s “hairy T” thank you very much. Warned.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Congratulations dear heart
That reminds me I need to add the Edinburgh slopbullet (etc.) to the stocktake

View attachment 1793802

What are the odds all this just got binned

I remember that - getting all the bits for her 'work' and then disposing of them. I was innocent, frauen und herren, hadn't found the canal yet. All the same I wondered how she could afford to just give the bits away, since she was still SO POOR.
OK, gullible is the word I am looking for, not innocent.

 

[Smol Pixel]

Oh!!! I see. I couldn't be arsed to go past the first bit

And really who could blame you?

 

[sleepingsatellite]

Gosh, she grinds my gears. She goes so low and it baffles me how so many seem to painstakingly suck it up.

This. The sheer scale of enabling - even with all the calling out - that she can tweet crap like this while there are kids sharing their stories about how they are skipping meals and layering up. I don’t think I can look anymore.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Slopbot gave me a lovely pair of (I think) Louboutins, but I can only dream of wearing them. Anything above a 3" heel and I'm arse over tit in two seconds.

Has Jack updated her troll list today, or are we still stuck on botox? Can she complete anything? No need to answer that.

 

[Smol Pixel]

Ooh a dyson fan. Don’t mind if I do (although tbh a heater would be more helpful rn). Am extremely grateful Slopbot. Thanks for all that you do, Traumy S.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

I don't even understand why someone would get an advent calendar for their 34 year old daughter??

If was likely to strop if bought it for the grandson and not her to keep the peace? Her long suffering mum does try to appease her a lot.

 

[That Forensic Man]

that still blows my mind and was around the time I joined these threads. Did she bring all her tat up to Edinburgh on the train? Or did she buy a load of stuff when she arrived, knowing she’d only be there a long weekend (despite all the ‘im finally home’/‘I’m having to go back feeling all smol’ shite)? Bloody wasteful either way especially as the serviced apartment had utensils etc

As I understand it the luggage she took was already crammed with lights, wires, cameras etc. so she bought all the kitchen stuff and ingredients in Edinburgh. And despite all the pantomime she didn't output anything beyond her typical boring "look what I made for breakfast/tea" pat-on-head fare.

Oooh! Did we ever decide if they were real or knock offs? Thanks slopbot!

Congratulations, one genuine ~checks notes~ Christian Louboutin Audrey Strappy Glitter Sandal!
No double dipping!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

A bit earlier has to be a contender

Could combine both: "More breakdowns than Big Ben and the RAC put together"