Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[People-huv-tae-know]

Welcome all to the new thread. The title was suggested by maverick @Lumpyspaceprincess and modified by Mom Poca (can I draw your garden?). You both win £500 worth of botox presented in a slow cooker.

Jack is back, nuclear mushroom clouds have replaced the tumble weed. Buckle up, she is as narky and narcy as ever. Don't trip over fake forehead wrinkles and don't accuse her of using make up to feign illness **cough black eye 2020 cough**

Go well fraus and herrs, the creator of the pumble has WARNED us.

 

[itsnotmereally]

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Much pov. So sad

Send Christmas cashos

She is sickening. Due to an abusive relationship
There has been a huge change in my finances recently and I am rationing gas (food the lot). However, I’m also selling off what I can (not my child’s toys) and am not rocking 1k in my ears.
This will be a short term thing.
Sorry not sure what my point is, it’s just so frustrating to see her posts like this when you know the truth.

 

[Bootsy Sloppins]

I just had a quick look at the bird site and clicked on the profile of one of the most prolific defenders on there right now. Language seemed familiar (antagonistic, combative, twattish), so I googled the name of the company in the profile. It doesn't exist. The profile picture does exist, however and belongs to a marine biologist with the same name as the . The real person died in 1948 and was a friend of John Steinbeck, who wrote about a fictional business with a very similar name to the one the is supposedly CEO of.

The company used by the does exist, but not in the place 'he' says it is. It's in a different country. Even her socks are shit poorly thought out lies that can be easily exposed with a modicum of research. That took me two minutes.

(Edited to remove something else that I just realised was bollocks, sorry)

 

[ThunderWoman]

Has she posted the 24 tweet thread or whatever it was yet? I'm debating going to bed or staying up.

I am a new frau, drawn in to log on by the promise of my first chaos, and it has been 24 hours of disappointment.
But good evening, dear hearts, I am excited to venture into the canal.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Still no ? Stop being such a chaostease, Jack.

I truly feel as though her Twitter likes are a fascinating insight into her innermost thoughts. Are we to assume from this that it's finally dawned on her how tragic it is that Burger Boy turned up in the middle of the night, nobbed her for six hours then immediately fucked off?

Also, I feel like this was missed amongst all the other effluence she was spewing last night/this morning. (SS from @Sideboard Bob )

The absolute fucking COMEDY of this coming from the single least stoic person I've ever seen when it comes to medical issues. She was threatening to go to A&E with a splinter in the middle of a pandemic, but sure, she only ever phones the doctor as an absolute last resort.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Going slightly backwards re SB being ill, and her wording showing her up as lying. He was supposedly struggling to breath, it was nearly 1am and she was again supposedly in the bed with him, kept awake by how dreadfully unwell he was. She went on to say “if he’s still off school tomorrow, then I’ll call GP” if he’s struggling to breath and dreadfully unwell at 1am, there would be absolutely no question of him getting up in five hours time to go across the county for school. When my kids are unwell, I know full well if they’ll be in school the next day by about 7pm, as you can usually see the trajectory of an illness. Plus….Any of my kids were struggling to breath I’d be calling an ambulance. This is the hag that went to A&E during Covid with a fake black eye, but her child struggling to breathe gets bloody vaporub??

The way she treats her son will be my ultimate aneurysm.

The tricksy breadcrumbing of ‘cold and damp’ as well - she wants the Squigs to think it’s their living conditions, but if pulled up on it she can pivot to meaning the weather.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Jack's hurty feelings just don't cut it with me. Sorry. I

Spoiler: Mh stuff

have worked in a psychiatric hospital, with people who have real issues and desperately want to get better. She is unwell whenever she makes a mistake. It's not credible.

 

[jenny2603]

Oh squig, you are in so much danger. DON'T YOU KNOW SHE'S TRIED THAT AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I’m amazed to see the feed your family for £20 woman is still at it. Admittedly, she does post meal plans, but the amount she buys seems to be tiny to feed a whole family. And the dishes seem to be getting sadder, like root veg casserole just sounds kind of bleak and not very filling as a meal. It just really plays into the rhetoric that people can’t afford to eat well because they rely on ready meals or can’t cook.

It's all bullshit. I've been an Aldi customer for years, shopping for a large family and 7 pets or 23 if you count the stick insects as they like a nice iceberg lettuce. I use a meal plan and I could get the bulk of my groceries for £50-£60 back in January 2020. Prices began to rise steadily during pandemic. Then again with Brexit and now inflation. My shop is now at least £90 and I am still buying the same foods. No alcohol, no excess of junk food, no toys or stuff from the bumf aisle. I get fresh fruit and veg, breads, cereals, cooking ingredients (which varies depending on my stock levels), biscuits, lunchbox snacks, laundry and cleaning items, toiletries, fruit juice, mineral water, milks and spreads. We are a mixed diet household too with vegans veggies and omnivores. Even one of the rabbits is on a special diet bless her. The plain fact is that due to various factors (including climate affecting farming) the price of food has gone up. Jack never talks about that though. It's always Tories are shit. The tories are shit but they aren't to blame for the pandemic or poor harvests. Jack mithers on at conferences about 'during the poverty' but she is too much of a coward to pressure those in power to raise wages and benefits. That's what would help reduce or eradicate food poverty and ensure farmers get a fair price. National poverty keeps Jack Monroe in £££, she will never be a true campaigner. That and she is a lazy arse.

 

[HarryPotHead]

It's been WEEKS but I've finally caught up!

I had a baby and during the night feeds I decided to put on trash TV and started rewatching Desperate Housewives. Imagine my surprise to watch a Jackanory story come alive before my very eyes.

Susan Delfino, married to Mike and mother to MJ, had a house sale and what do you think was the major drama from the sale? Why it's the tale of the favourite toy being sold! In Susan's case it was an accidental sale but if course in Jack's world it was sold for mamapapa to buy jam!

At this stage I take it for granted that everything Jack says is a lie but it always makes me laugh when her lies are discovered (Botox forehead anyone?)

Anyway no doubt when I get a second to come back here there will be another 20 threads to catch up on you funny funny bastards

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Jack's son is very, very ill. So ill she's live tweeting from beside him to make sure he's breathing ok - but don't worry, she's going to phone the doctor again tomorrow "if he's still off school"... because she must still be considering sending him in... LOL*

*not laughing at SB being ill, just Jack's absolute rancid BS.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Breadcrumbing strep a. Delightful.

 

[Lalalalalalalalalalala]

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Squig, hokey folk remedies don't work against invasive bacterial infections. If they did, the graveyards wouldn't be full of the evidence of childhood epidemics sweeping through entire families. If Jack's son is as ill as she claims, he needs medical attention and antibiotics, not essential oils and having to share his bed with a massive and badly-trained dog.

Also, vapour rub and essential oils are the worst thing to give a child if they are asthmatic. They trigger wheezing in me and son very quickly. She's so horrible. The latest has really upset me. She's blatantly trying to jump on the strep A/poor housing/black mould issues. These are real genuine issues that are terrifying for lots of people. This is the stuff that put me off Jack, the constant attention seeking and claiming to have the latest headline illness. As someone who has watched their child struggling for breath, I'm furious that she's using this. You know what I did when my asthmatic child was ill? Held him and read to him and comforted him. I did not have my phone out telling people about it. And if she's genuinely worried he has strep A, then she needs to get him to a doctor, not tweet about it. This is the Jack that upsets me the most.

 

[imBUSY]

Jacks son has been ill for 5 days now - fortunately the fringe trim only took 3 days and she spent hours painstakingly writing out a thread about trolls so tonight’s the night she’s found the time to live tweet about herself him. Honest to god she talks some shite
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Is she seriously saying she's tempted to eat her sick child's Advent calendar candy?

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

She's getting torn to shreds on that well known blue coloured website for mothers too. Looks like Jack or a sock joined up to try and emotionally manipulate people to stop, but it backfired completely. Excellent.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Squig, hokey folk remedies don't work against invasive bacterial infections. If they did, the graveyards wouldn't be full of the evidence of childhood epidemics sweeping through entire families. If Jack's son is as ill as she claims, he needs medical attention and antibiotics, not essential oils and having to share his bed with a massive and badly-trained dog.

 

[Salted Caramel]

I'm pretty new to Tattle and don't know who this Jack Monroe is, but having spent the last few days reading these threads I just wanted to say that you lot are bloody HILARIOUS. I've snorted whilst reading on several occasions.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Some of you sound genuinely upset about SB, the advent calendar, etc. It's worth remembering that we don't know everything she does. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking we know everything about her, because she overshares SO MUCH, but she may well have bought him an advent calendar too or she may have made a conscious decision that she wasn't going to get him a chocolate one because her mum does every year, or whatever.

Different families have different traditions and I can't muster the energy to care that much. What is much more telling to me is when she says things like 'I'm tempted by my sick child's advent calendar'. Either she really, honestly thinks that because her son is too sick to remember to open his own advent calendar, a normal response is for her to have the chocolate OR it's a hilariously edgy joke. In one interpretation she's an actual monster, in the other she's a dickhead. Take your pick.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Is she seriously saying she's tempted to eat her sick child's Advent calendar candy?

She's so wierd and inappropriate.
Why would that even be in your mind as a joke if your child was ill?
My hunch. SB is actually with her. And hopefully just has a mild cold. But him staying is such a rare occurrence she is making it into a huge deal - 'look at me being an amazing mama. Which is why I couldn' t attend an award ceremony I knew I would lose'.